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    Social or a flirt?

    My SO is pretty social and is from a society that isn't very hell-bent on monogamy. We've talked it out and he knows where I stand on it (me being monogamous and pretty jealous). Is it weird that it bothers me that he has a lot of friends that are girls and they're constantly writing on his facebook wall? I try not to let it get to me, but some days are harder than others. Opinions and advice would be greatly appreciated <3

    #2
    I grew up believing in monogamy and I can't even think of something else. First I was a little jealous because my SO tends to get along with many girls and they even go out one-on-one sometimes. That first had me really jealous but I later came to realize I did the same thing. I do not go out with guys because usually the DO ask me out with intentions other than friendship, but I do get along more with guys than girls a lot of the time. I spend most of my school day with guys. My free hours at school, which are plenty, are spent with guys too. Still, there's always a "possibility" of your SO not keeping enough distance from his female friends as you do with your male friends, which is the part that becomes a little stressy to me.

    I believe it is normal for you to feel like this, although I do think it can be fixed with being a little more self-confident. If he believes in monogamy too and stands firm on it, he won't deceive you that easily. I'd also be more worried if it is him who posts on their walls rather than vice versa. The rest would depend on the mood of his replies to these posts. Also if they are a lot of girls, it's more likely that they are friends... you could start getting worried if there is one specific girl who posts a lot and constantly gets "very friendly" replies from him. Just remember that out of those many girls he knows, he chose you, even if you live miles away

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      #3
      My SO is the same... he is really social and is just good with everyone. He likes to meet new people and go out and have fun. Although he is hangging out more with his family like cousins.. he has a few good friends. most of them are friends from highschool. He has also a few female friends, I think he likes hangging out around them and one of his best friends is a girl (who has a bf by the way- and I'm glad lol). but there are also girls who put hearts on his wall or write comments on his pictures like "hey sexy; lover;pumpkin..etc." and in the beginning I got sooo jealous. I also stalked them and checked his wall every few hours haha but most of those girls were in a relationship so that I didn't have to panic anymore.
      I stopped being jealous, because I can either trust him or I can feel depressed because of some girls I have never met and who are just silly friends of him..

      he chose you and not one of them. just be yourself.. go out, buy something nice for yourself and don't let silly things botter you

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        #4
        This might be a bit blunt but whether or not you believe in monogamy, he is aloud to have female friends. They are just posting on his wall I don't get what the issue is?

        If you have issues with this, and he has never given you a reason to be suspicious of those women on his wall, then you need to take a look at yourself because you are going to create a problem in your own relationship that isn't necessary. Or, just don't look on his wall. Everyone needs privacy. And if people talking to him bothers you, then don't look. But he has a right to have friends, male or female.
        Got together Jan 3, 2011~ Closed the Distance March 23, 2012~ Living Together Since June 19 2012~ Future TBD......

        I miss you more than I ever could have believed; and I was prepared to miss you a good deal." ~ Vita Sackville-west

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          #5
          Its not weird, you sound like me lol I wrote him and told him about this and what bothered me, so i suggest being open and telling him. He needs a social life, especially when in a LDR, and as much as we want to be the only female in our SO's life, sometimes can't have our ways lol But I understand this and can relate so well. My SO is more social then i am, for me its mostly just family and then very few friends and no guys. He has a lot of friends from college and class and work ect. So i do get silly thoughts, but realistically if your SO loves you and is honest and true, you have nothing to worry about.
          I love you Nathan <3
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          5/25/09 <3

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