woah .... wait I dont understand

[Sano]

So I bought a webcam so maybe me and my SO could have some skype dates like everybody else. So I buy the camera and as Im setting it up and I send him text telling him I got it. Granted I didnt tell him I was getting it. It was like a spur or the moment buy at target but I wanted to surprise him because he's always asking for pics so Im like oooh I can do you one better. So he's excited and he's like can I see you on it now?! So now Im super excited and Im like yeah!
but for some reason my picture on my camera was upside down so I was trying to figure out how to fix it (which I did) and download MSN messenger since he already had that on his computer. I couldn't download MSN easily so I asked him to download skype and as Im downloading and fixing my hair in my cam I get this text and he's like "did you buy this camera for someone else?" ... So I told him no and he acted like he didnt believe me and finally said well lets try it tomorrow Im a little tired. So I was a little disappointed but I was like sure. So today comes and I didnt hear from him so I asked him did he still want to and he said yes at first then said well Im going to bed because Im depressed.

Im just like ... wtf I wanted to try this idea so we could maybe get a little closer and now all of a sudden I guess he doesn't trust me with it ... and we're not really talking atleast for today .... -_-'

[digitalfever]

Have you guys exchanged pictures and everything? (I dunno the background of your relationship...)

[Sano]

Yeah we've exchanged pictures and everything and it'll be two years this july

[Kristin91]

Why would he think you bought it for someone else? I think you need to just try to talk to him and get him to talk to you. It should be something exciting for the two of you, not something to bring you guys down!

[Sano]

I have no idea >.< But he just called me to apologize and tell me that he's just been worrying lately that since we've been together for awhile now and we dont have a solid date to end the distance that I'll get tired of waiting and go seek out somebody else. The whole thing just really confused me. lol But then maybe I didnt plan out everything well either

[Killtrend]

Without a solid plan for an end to the long distance, you two will drift apart.

Start thinking about it. Talk about it. Who is moving. How much money is needed. Jobs. Housing. Etc.
Good luck!

[Zapookie]

Your profile says you guys haven't met yet. Are both of you at least working towards a first meeting? Two years and you've never webcammed?

[carolynred]

Hmm that's so random that he would ask if you bought the webcam for someone else. I'm having a hard time seeing where he could have gotten that from, but I don't know the details so that could explain why. Perhaps see if you and him can talk about future plans for closing the distance? You don't have to decide RIGHT now how it will happen, but see if you two can map out a possibility. I can see how he might be stressed feeling like there's no set plans for progress. Its like walking around with no destination. Maybe if you just talk about the future a bit, he might warm up and gain some confidence back.

Good luck dearie! Hope you're doing alright!

[Engel]

was this going to be the first time you would go on webcam? 2 years is a long time! its great you got one now at least, but did you two talk about possibilities for a first meeting at least?

[Joshmiller]

Well, I know for one if my girl text me and told me she got a cam for me id be there no matter how long it took to set up to see her. But i also understand if he told you he is a bit depressed. Some days i don't feel like getting out of bed because i miss her so darn much. Feels like something in my belly is blowing up. But i would never not talk to her over it. I agree that you both need to set an end date. Me and my LDR girl don't have one yet really, we just have a "we will meet at the latest summer break of school" If i was you i would just talk to him If i was him and it was one of my depressing days id want you to talk to me and tell me how you feel about me, even tho we are guys that means more to us then we say it does.

[lademoiselle]

I think you both need to set down a time frame which will see certain events take place, beginning with making concrete plans for a first meeting. I'm not completely surprised by your SO's reaction; if I'd been with my LD partner for a significant length of time without having made any physical progress towards closing the distance, I'm sure all manner of insecurities would set in for me too!

[Rugger]

Without a solid plan for an end to the long distance, you two will drift apart.

Start thinking about it. Talk about it. Who is moving. How much money is needed. Jobs. Housing. Etc.
Good luck!

My SO and I don't have a solid plan for closing the distance. We have a loose " When one of us finds a permanent job" plan. Not everyone needs an absolute plan to stay together.

OP, I think the problem you need to address is him not trusting you. I know this has been an issue in the past with you guys and it needs to stop. You need to ask him why he doesn't trust you. Why would the thought that you got the camera for someone else even cross his mind. ANd like many people have said, I think you two need to start moving towards meeting for the first time. Don't worry about closing just yet. Get to the first meeting and take it from there. You don't have to plan your whole future just yet.

[Sano]

no we have a plan lol
and we're supposed to be having a visit this June so I have no idea where he got all that from

[Sano]

We've already talked about that. We talk about it alot actually. We just dont have a set date because Im trying to get with my manager and see what my possibilities are for transferring to a different office where he lives. We've actually still been doing pretty good the only thing I can just really complain about is every time we set a date to have a visit something happens where we have to push it back. Its supposed to be happening the second week of June but until the plane tickets get bought Im not getting excited. We pretty much already discussed that if we dont atleast have a visit before this August I dont know if I can go on much longer after that.

But right now I'll be the one doing the moving and it actually works out better that way since there aren't many opportunities for work in my city and I can transfer to a better nursing program where he is.
I think the whole thing was pretty funny in hindsight but I still have no idea if we're actually going to use the camera at all now >.O

The last time we talked about him visiting he said he felt really bad that I told him I wasn't getting excited about it until he has his tickets in his hands and so I guess his confidence is a little shaky

---------- Post added at 10:35 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:31 PM ----------

Well for the most part its usually always him that stalls the physical progress. He's excited about visiting and closing the distance and starting a life together and all that jazz but then it seems like the closer we get to it, he starts remembering what the previous women in his life have done to him. Atleast thats what came out when we talked last night.

But something has to happen this year, two years is a long time

[temporaryuser]

could it be that he doesnt have a cam? That may seem silly, but maybe he feels insecure because he cant communicate in the same way you can