Looking for advice for a complex yet probably common situation

[Y2J-88]

Greetings,
Me and my GF have been together for over a year now, for the first 9 months of the relationship everything was perfect (she lives in California, I live in Puerto Rico), at that time alot of family problems started ocurring in her life that resulted in her losing her internet, having to move and not having a cell phone signal where she lives now. We talked with each other as much as we could over the phone, always looking forward together when shed be back online... we havent met yet cuz she has been wanting us to meet under perfect circumstances. Anyways, its been almost 4 months since we were able to be flirty and sexy with each other cuz of the stresses of her life and all. Last Monday, she got her Internet back, and although we were both happy and just delighted to be back on, later that night she said something was wrong with her cuz she had been questioning for the last week or so if she was still in love with me. She asked for us to stay together while she figures it out cuz she understands it could be anything from actually feeling like that to all of he stresses getting the best of her and not really thinking about it. Our communication is superb, we trust each other with eyes closed, but this situation has her stressed and has me nervous and over analizying alot of stuff i do. Any advice would be appreciated, I Love her with all my everything and deep down, based on how she speaks to me, i feel the 'in love' part is still there. Is not thinking about the flirty/passionate/sexy side of a relationship, being a long distance one, strong enough to make someone fall out of Love? Can stress actually make ppl not think about this and take for granted the person in a LDR? Pls give me yr thoughts and advice... Ty in advance

[Killtrend]

Stress can do a lot of things. Usually though, they'll lean on the person they can trust the most or who makes them feel *least stressed.* The LDR could just be piling on to the plate she already has. Do something sweet, like send her flowers or a personalized letter sprayed with your cologne. If that doesn't perk her up, it might be the LDR that is her trouble.

[carolynred]

I agree, stress can mess with anyone's mind like crazy. If anything, just show her that you are there for her through all her problems. It sounds like she doesn't want to break up at all. Make sure the relationship won't add to her plate. If her family problems keep going, just be prepared for more stuff like this. As long as you two are there for one another, then things should work out fine.

[Y2J-88]

Stress can do a lot of things. Usually though, they'll lean on the person they can trust the most or who makes them feel *least stressed.*

Exactly what i thought, and it was that way till she lost her internet and home cell phone access... for the last month or a bit more we were only shrunk to talking as she was driving to work and from work... so like 2 hrs a week at most, while she drove which is not necessarily the best moment to share stuff that bothers you etc. So bottom line, unfortunately when she needed me the most, i was unable to be there cuz of this.

[Killtrend]

If you have her address, send her something. A stuffed animal. Anything. Let her know you are her rock, through everything.

[sardonis]

I agree with the flowers thing, but specifically do something sweet SHE particularly likes, but keep it sweet, not sexy. I know not all women like flowers or choclates, but have their own flavor of "dawww" making material. Go with what you know best that says, thinking of you...

If she's been stressed she's probably tired, which can be clear in the giving her some time and you're probably feeling a bit needy for her time? I know I would be... So just lean back and play it cool and don't analyze nor ask her about it. Just let her have her time over it. Nothing you do naturally that she likes will hurt you, but anything you do to compensate can, because it can be pressuring.

[princessmeg1328]

Stress can definitely put a lot of strain on a relationship. I agree with the others that sending her something would be a nice idea. It lets her know that you're thinking about her, but not in a way that it might feel like too much for her. I think even a text saying that you're thinking about her and hoping she has a great day would be nice. It's really the small things that can help out a lot during stressful times.

[Bethypoo]

If you have her address, send her something. A stuffed animal. Anything. Let her know you are her rock, through everything.

This is a good idea ^^

Honestly she just probably had a flood of emotions and had no idea what she wanted. For women... that is normal and it changes, sometimes momentarily. So just give her that space, but remind her that you are there and that you feelings have no changed and that you are there with open arms when she is ready.

[Y2J-88]

Yeah thats a very good idea, unfortunately she just moved into a new place which shes sharing with some family members and as a result, theres not much privacy.

[Y2J-88]

I was thinking if the 'finally meeting' theme should be brought up for talk under these circumstances atm, like i stated earlier, shes always wanted our first meeting to be perfect (her being on vacation from work, etc) but idk if the whole perfect scenario should need to be switched to carpe diem mode.

[Y2J-88]

ok, well, this week's been ok towards good so far... things were picking up a bit last week but now shes caught the flu and has been a bit off =\ Anyways, all of this made me ask myself something... can anyone suggest steps for bringing that passion back without being pressured or her to feel awkward? Ty in advance