Anyone's SO have kids?

[NYlovesFL]

Does anyone's SO have kids?
Have you met the kids?
Do they like you?

My SO has a kid and I don't. I have always wanted kids it just hasn't happened for me yet. Anyway, he is a single dad (full custody) and I was wondering if anyone else is involved in the same situation? Any advice or stories to share?

[temporaryuser]

Both of us have 1 child, same agae. he has a daughter, me a son. He will be moving down here and will have custody of his daughter for the summers.
Yes, i have met her, and he has met mine.
I had married into a situation where my ex had full custody of his then 5 yo daughter. it was very ugly as he treated her as a child of divorce and it was the main reason for us splitting up.
if you get involved with someone that already has kids, realize that it has to be a give and take. The custodial partner has got to demand the kids respect you and listen to you, and that partner has to back you up. Otherwise it will never work.

[limegreen]

I have a 6 year old. My SO has no children. They met the morning after she flew in and they are the best of buddies.

THe only advice I can give is don't go in with the intention that you need to be a parental figure. The child needs to build trust with you first. Go in as a friend.

[marbear31]

Yes!! My boyfriend Stephen has an 8 year old son, and he is literally THE most adorable kid in the world. I love him so much already, and he usually has him on weekends, so a good chunk of time is spent skyping on Saturrdays--and because of the six hour time difference, Jay apparently is always asking (when I have to go to sleep) if they can skype me within an hour of when we hang up. Stephen (my bf) says Jay isn't like this normally with people, and it's so cute when they both vie for my attention on our skype dates. They are just the most priceless pair, and I love them so much.

I was so nervous meeting Jay for the first time, but I just went in with an open heart and being willing to love him, and I hope he feels that, even across the miles. I've known pretty much since day 1 that they were a package deal, and I wouldn't have it ANY other way.

[lucybelle]

I dated a guy once who had a child. I realized that that situation would never work out for me.

Good luck to you!

[prinzeza87]

yes he has a 4 year old boy and i have my almost 3 year princess , neither of us has meet our kiddos in person just skype , he even talks to my daughter on the phone sometimes awww lol

[blankita719]

My SO has an almost 17 year old (just a few more weeks - eek!!) son and I have an 8 year old son. We both have full custody of our children. I love that he is a dad - our first "date" included his then 2 year old We've all been together several times now and get along great. My son will want to talk to my SO on Skype or on the phone and his son will pop on Skype sometimes. His son came into the room one night before he was going out for the night and said "Love you both" to the two of us and my heart just about melted. That kind of acceptance is priceless with the kids in your SO's life.

My advice for how to handle it is to not try and be their mother - if she's involved she will resent it and cause problems and the child may resent it as well. I can clearly remember telling my dad's now ex-wife that she wasn't my mother and she needed to stop acting like she was. I always advise to act more like the cool aunt in the child's life That way they respect you as an adult but don't feel like you may be overstepping any boundaries with them. And always remember that the dad and their child are a package deal - you can't have one without the other. They will probably break plans with you or set you aside sometimes to deal with their child, so you have to be able to understand this and accept it sometimes. It's important that they also make time for you but if something comes up, my son is going to be first and I understand sometimes his son will be first for him too. It can be challenging to blend together but so rewarding when everyone works together. We make our own version of family and I love being a part of it.