"Go pack and go home"

[maja]

I don't even know what to say. Right now I'm just like WTF?!? As you may have read in my other thread, I'm having a rather bad time at the moment, additionally my granddad is now in hospital anyway, my SO knows that I'm not ok, definitely not ok. And I understand he needs help because frankly his German sucks and I always help him, I will never turn down anyone who asks me for help, that's just who I am. He however seems to be using that a lot. I have noticed before and I have said something before, but yesterday when I mentioned that I am annoyed with being his secretary he said the following:
"gah, and i never do anything for you
what ever
go pack and go home"

(I am actually back at uni, but only for today to pick up some more stuff I need at home)

I don't even know what to say. I'm sure he didn't mean it. I hope he didn't. I'm so beyond hurt. And so extremely furious. We haven't spoken since and to be honest even if some of you will say I am being childish, I will not apologize and come up to him first. I always do, but this time I really didn't do anything wrong. Why the hell would he say that????? I just want to cry, I really don't need an argument with him on my plate as well right now I know it's selfish but I just can't handle it, it's hard enough as it is with my family and all; I have basically stopped eating because I'm so stressed

[SquishyLove]

First of all, if you can, try to eat at least something small and simple because in times of stress you do still need to have some nutrition to prevent making yourself sick. I'm sorry you're going through bad times in your family and now the added stress in your relationship! *HUGS* Second of all, it's not right the way he chose to handle the conflict. I'm curious as to how you delivered your request to him. Again, I'm not saying he's right to have snapped at you and he definitely should have been more sensitive knowing what you're going through. I'm just saying the way you worded your request may have set off some frustration in his mind and he chose to respond aggressively because he was hurt as well. Sometimes the way a request is delivered can make all the difference in the world. I would, however, still stand up for yourself in this and stand your ground, because the way he reacted is likely uncalled-for. He should have been more sensitive knowing what you're going through. I'd just cool down and then try to talk to him later when he comes to you (since you prefer it that way). Don't apologize for the request itself, but perhaps acknowledge (if this is the case) that the request was worded in the wrong way to make him upset. Also, he should apologize to you for being insensitive and rude. I hope for the best outcome in this situation! Sometimes people don't always communicate effectively and things can very much be taken the wrong way, causing a conflict where there shouldn't have been one. Best of luck, and again *HUGS*

[lala]

oooh hun I'm sorry
I'm sure he took it for granted what you did for him, or I mean he got used to it.. so I think he was shocked and hurt as well how you respond to him.. but it's NOT okay what he said.. plus you have a hard time and he could understand that you don't have the head for helping him out this time..
if he decides to talk to you, you could explain to him that his behaviour was not ok and how it made you feel. I would say that you should just take some time for yourself and your family that should always go first and if he decides to talk to you,talk to him
hope you guys can make it through :*

[Bethypoo]

I think you are both just under a lot of stress. Breathe. Just take a minute and then ask to talk. Im sure he didn't mean it. Not only are you going through a hard him but he is watching you go through a lot and there is really not to much that he can do. That causes a lot of stress. And if he is still having a hard time with the language then that can be frustrating.

Just take a moment. Give him the same. And then just ask to talk. Ask him if he meant what he said. If he still needs more time then fine. But really saying something like that is a cause for concern but don't worry to much until you actually talk. Good luck hun!

[carolynred]

I had such a similar experience when I was dating my last ex. In my case, my boyfriend at the time had lost his entire paper the night before it was due because his computer completely crashing. He told me as a message over Facebook and I told him to not worry about talking to me (it was our normal time we set aside for one another) and focus on getting the paper done. I wasn't trying to sound mean, I just wanted him to focus on his paper and not worry about making time to talk to me. However, it did come off as rude from his eyes, which I understand now. He ended up getting mad at me and reacted like your SO did.

I agree with the others, you both sound like your under so much stress. You may have said something that you didn't intend to come off as harsh/conflicting, but he may have taken it the wrong way. However, I don't know your exact words, so it could have been just him over reacting. Whatever the case, take a deep breath, things like this happen! Its a natural thing. Give him some time to vent and talk over it when you two have a chance. I'm sure he didn't really mean it.

I also stop eating when I'm extremely stressed. PLEASE eat a little something so your blood sugar stays up and you don't get sick. Make food a comfort for you, pick whatever you want to eat. Just keep yourself well ok? Treat yourself to your favorite ice cream or favorite dish. Maybe go to your favorite restaurant with some gal pals. Take care of yourself, remember YOU are important too.

Stay strong girly! We are here for you!