Need advice- Breakup?

[Puramu]

I never thought I'd be posting something like this, yet here I am...

So I'll give a brief backstory of the situation. Things between my bf and I have been fine, not completely perfect, but not horrible either. The only real problem is I have a very high libido, and his is actually quite low. So there'll be a lot of times where I ask for it, he says he's not in the mood. I feel a bit upset and decide to try again the next day, and the same thing happens. For weeks. And I depend on it, unfortunately, so this gets very very frustrating at times.

Well, about two weeks ago we were chatting like usual, but I realized that week was going to be stressful, so I wanted some intimacy time to relieve some of this stress, but he got extremely annoyed because he was just about to start a stream (play a game online while others watch) and had to call it off at the last minute. Well some things were said that I at least didn't mean, and after I cooled off a bit I went back to apologize to him. He accepted my apology, but didn't say anything else to me that night.

I decided to give him a bit of space and have him come talk to me again when he's not pestered or whatever. But when I apologized to him was the last time I've talked to him. Sunday will be two weeks, and I've seen him get online many times. I got the feeling after about the 3rd day that he was just simply avoiding me which is especially frustrating since he left me 100% sexually frustrated still. I didn't want to initiate the conversation because I didn't do anything wrong, the last thing I said was an apology, I'm not even sure he did the same.

On the fifth day I decided that he must not want to be with me anymore. Just two weeks prior to all this, we had a talk about how to move the relationship forward, and we both agreed, and then this happens. He just ignores and avoids me, might have to do with his increase of wanting "alone time". Why not give him all the time in the world? But since we both haven't discussed this, it's sort of an "unofficial" break up. Though ever since I've decided it, I feel a bit more free.

And lonely. And now one question keeps wandering in my head. Why? What did I do to suddenly have him dislike me so much? I didn't really do anything wrong, I don't understand. Our 3 year anniversary is coming up next month, why would he give it all up? I tried my best to give him everything, even if I got little in return, and we just had an amazing visit last month. What happened so suddenly? And no, he hasn't found another, he can be very anti social, especially with girls, so the likelihood of that happening is slim.

Well here is where I need advice. My brother told me I need to just confront him and tell him things aren't working out. But I'm afraid to do that because deep inside I don't want things to end, I just want things to go back to normal. I have a feeling if I confront him about it he'll say I'm the one giving up on us, and then there'll be this long argument that I just don't want to get into. But if things are going to end, well I want to still be friends. I mean he was practically my best friend too, I would hate to see it all go away (though this'll be the second time a best friend of mine abandons me for no reason). So how should I approach this? I could leave him or I could stay with him. We're usually good about communicating our problems with each other and working things out, at least for a while.

I'm just emotionally fragile and can't decide what to do. It seems everything in my life is going wrong right now. But thanks for reading my long tale.

[lala]

for how long are you guys LD? and when was the last time you met? did you ever had sex?

from what I read out is that you got mad at him because he didn't want to have cyber-sex..is that right?
I think you maybe annoyed him with the things you said and made him feel bad and not man enough to please you. You should respect that he has a different libido and different needs. There are other things you could do to help your self with this issue- without him.
I don't know anything about your relationship so it's difficult to give the best advice. I would just say talk to him about this sex thing and try to explain how it makes you feel.. and maybe you should also appologize..?

[Puramu]

We've always been long distance, and the last visit was around Christmas and New Years. He was all over me during the visit, but I understand how he has more trouble with those things online. Yet it's the only thing we have, we only get visits like once a year. Though I don't see what I have to apologize for, all I ever did was want to love him, am I wrong for that? I've toned myself down a lot, but sometimes I just NEED it, and I would appreciate if he would acknowledge my needs, rather than do his usual "ignore them and they'll go away eventually". And he knows I hate getting ignored more than anything, it fuels my depression *sigh*.

[lala]

ah there you go. Like you said he was all over you when you were together, but maybe he has problems or don't like doing those things online..you could also try out sexting.. me and my SO won't see eachother for one year too and both of us have those needs too.. but the most imporant thing is to respect eachother and find the best way for both of you. you should really talk to him about it and then don't tell him just what YOU want or need but also talk about him..

[floridaellen]

I love my SO but I really don't like phone sex (I much prefer sexting) even though I have a pretty strong libido. It just seems so awkward and weird to me. However, since my SO really enjoys it, I compromise and do it occasionally. Your SO should be willing to compromise sometimes for you!

[Moon]

Honestly, I don't think either of you are wrong or should apologize. The problem here seems to be difference in libido, and sometimes that's not something that can be worked out easily. If he simply can't get into the cyber thing, and you have no chance of closing the distance fairly quickly, your needs may just be too different. Nobody should have to apologize for the way they're "wired", but if you want to try making it work, you're gonna have to at least contact one another. Someone has to do it first, so how bad do you want this relationship? Swallow your pride and send him an email, be the bigger person here, you don't have to apologize, but you do have to talk. Good luck.

[Puramu]

You guys are right, I should just talk to him today. The only problem is he has his stupid D&D game today that won't end until around midnight, and he hates getting disturbed while playing it. And then I'll be going on spring break with my friend for a week so I'll be distracted. I guess I'll risk distracting him, this is important. And I'll feel a lot better if I can at least know why.