My boyfriend and I met about 2 months ago through an online website. We live about 150 miles from each other which I know seems very close to many of you, but it has its own set of problems. Anyway, we hit it off immediately and I know I'm falling for him and think he feels the same. We are not young (late 40's, early 50's) and have both been married before. However neither of us has ever been in a LDR before and we are having our share of difficulties. For me, the biggest problem is that I have a LOT of free time and he has less than I do. He has a teenage son that is with him every other weekend. We do attempt to get together on Sunday nights after his son goes back to his mother's house, but that doesn't always work out. In addition, he started a new job a month ago that has him traveling and often staying weeknights at the job site. Unfortunately, the current job site is further away -- about a 4 hour drive for me, which makes getting together weeknights impossible. Then other things come up. This weekend he didn't have his son but a cousin was getting married and he had to attend the wedding. It's now been over 2 weeks since I've seen him. The difficulty with living far away and yet tantalizingly close is that there are numerous build ups and let downs on when we can and can't get together. For example, our plan was to get together one weeknight last week and I would get off work early to do that. However, that morning he learned that they would be working late at night and it was a "no go." We were shooting to do the same thing today but as of 6:00 a.m. this morning he wasn't sure what his work schedule would be. He can't text or call from work so I'm sitting here all day wondering if I will be able to see him tonight. He's still working 4 hours away so I'd have to leave early from work in order to reach him at a decent hour.
I do better when I hear from him in some fashion, but I don't always get a call or text at night. Since the relationship is still pretty new, I'm unsure how much I should stress to him that I really need to hear from him every day. That's seems demanding to me. We haven't said "I love you" but I'm very close to feeling it. Until we do that, I feel like I should just try and chill and see what happens. But it's so very hard, especially when I have so much free time that I could be spending with him. If this keep building, I would have no problem moving to where he is. To do so, I'd have to sell my home and finding a job near him might be difficult but I'm willing to give it a shot. We just aren't there yet and I am not sure what to do in order to have the patience and staying power to see if this is going somewhere. I have trust issues from my marriage and that is made even harder with the distance.
The biggest help I need right now from you all is to find out what you think I can and should do about keeping in touch daily. Is it okay at this point for me to tell him that I really need to hear from him every day in some fashion or is that too demanding until we both verbalize how strongly we feel about each other? This man is truly something special and I want to try and make this work.
I do better when I hear from him in some fashion, but I don't always get a call or text at night. Since the relationship is still pretty new, I'm unsure how much I should stress to him that I really need to hear from him every day. That's seems demanding to me. We haven't said "I love you" but I'm very close to feeling it. Until we do that, I feel like I should just try and chill and see what happens. But it's so very hard, especially when I have so much free time that I could be spending with him. If this keep building, I would have no problem moving to where he is. To do so, I'd have to sell my home and finding a job near him might be difficult but I'm willing to give it a shot. We just aren't there yet and I am not sure what to do in order to have the patience and staying power to see if this is going somewhere. I have trust issues from my marriage and that is made even harder with the distance.
The biggest help I need right now from you all is to find out what you think I can and should do about keeping in touch daily. Is it okay at this point for me to tell him that I really need to hear from him every day in some fashion or is that too demanding until we both verbalize how strongly we feel about each other? This man is truly something special and I want to try and make this work.
The problem of being LDR when you're older is that you've kinda got to throw away all those years of relationship experience, this can be quite different. The most important thing, next to communication, in an LDR is to maintain your own life and hobbies! Because you have so much more free time, of course you want to talk with him, but too much of that may come off as too needy and smothering. I've been with my guy for almost three years, and it took some time to build the relationship to where we got into a comfortable rhythm that worked for both of us. Two months is a pretty short amount of time for busy LDR'ers to be in contact daily, I think, especially when kids and careers are involved. Maybe you're not allowing enough time for things to develop naturally? As time passes, you'll blend your lives together more and more, but you've got to be patient and let it happen on it's own. 
Even if it's a quick text or message, it's good for now. Then, go find some things to do to keep yourself busy, seriously, it helps, I promise. Don't worry about moving or anything just yet, just like a CDR, these things take time to develop and you don't want to scare him off by thinking about it so soon.
, I was a little let down that we didn't get more time. However, I'm going to see him this Sunday night and he'll be more rested and have more time to spend. Whenever I read stories about people who are continents apart, I count myself very lucky.
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