Can the first love be final love?

[killerkaytee]

I believe it can happen because it has happened to me =) Sure I've "talked" to other guys but I never felt they were the right ones at all, so I never took it any further. Chris is my first love and my only. He's everything I could ever want and need in a partner and I'm so blessed he's my first and no one else

[lademoiselle]

This is very much a matter of personal opinion. I hadn't long turned 18 when I met my SO, but I'd be delighted if he turns out to be the only boyfriend I'll ever have. My teenage years were spent devouring 19th century novels in which the heroine married the first dashing young man who could steal her heart; I'd always envisaged a similar love story for myself, so to have met a guy who embodies pretty much all I'm looking for in a partner makes me feel like the luckiest girl alive! I guess some people will feel the need to date different people before they settle down and others simply won't.

[blankita719]

For me, it is happening. However, we took a very long road to get here today. I fell in love with my SO when I was 18 and he was my first love. I'd had boyfriends in high school but those weren't real love. I had intense feelings for sure, but not any real desire to spend the rest of my life with them. He was it for me. And when we broke up, I was of course devastated and thought I'd never love again. But I did. However I was always still in love with my SO (and ditto for him back) so many, many years down the road we came together. And I appreciate the time we spent apart because it made me realize how much I needed to grow to make us work and how much love sometimes truly does conquer all.

I'm not saying HBB's dad is right, but there can be some instances where a person needs that time to grow and have the ability to carry on a serious relationship with another person. It really is the individual that needs to make that call.

[Jassy_love]

Yes I believe your first love can be your last love

[lucybelle]

I think most people have already said what I wanted to say. Yes first loves stick, but not that often. People love to mention family members that got together young and are still together, but I can name you a helluva lot more couples who got together young are have split up.

I was in love before, it wasn't the same type of love I feel now. I was in teenage love (18/19). And when that relationship ended, my life ended. I was brokenhearted for years. That pain was real. What we felt for each other was real, even if it wasn't the same type of love I have now, it was still real. I think first loves and first breakups are both really important things to go through. It's sort of like how I think everyone should have to work in customer service, just so they know.

My current relationship is not my first love, but it is for my SO. Not that he hasn't had his share of girl friends and flings and hook ups and what nots, but I am the first and only girl he has actually loved. So I sure hope it sticks

[BabyDimples]

Defineatly. I thought that I had loved before, but I have never felt this way about anyone. I love Thomas more than anyone or anything, and I would give up everything for him if he asked me to. I know that I won't love anyone anywhere near as much or in the same way as I am with him, and I know that I won't ever fall in love with anyone else. With him, he really is my First, Last, and Only love.

[Zapookie]

My mother is similar to HBB's father. She is always telling me that because this is my first love, I shouldn't take my relationship so seriously and that I should prepare my heart for when we break up (so nice to have such a positive and supporting mother, eh?).

I always dreamed of a guy who would tick all the boxes, but I never thought I'd find a person so perfect for me in every single way. We just... mesh together so well.

Christian and I have both semi-dated other people before we got together but we would both say that this is our first serious relationship. This is the first time either of us have really, truly loved someone and put in the effort to show that we loved them. We've come a long way and we've both grown together, and even though we're young (turning 21 and 23 this year), I feel like this is it. Neither of us have the need/want to look elsewhere to see if the grass is greener.

Don't let negativity get you down. Just keep doing what you're doing and keep proving them wrong.

[Babypuppy21]

That’s a tough one to give a definite and absolute answer, as it is depending on the individual. For me my first serious relationship is my future and first love. I don’t have any intention or yearning to go exploring and ‘test the waters’ to see who else is out there. I’ve had a few people tell me how do I know he’s it. For me that’s not important, I know what I feel in my heart and no one has touched me as much as has, and I’m not interested in finding out if someone else can, I’m good.
Thing is you don’t have to personally be in a relationship to see and benefit from others experiences. I think I answered the asked questions.

[Tooki]

Definitely

This is my first long-term relationship. I also see it being my last.

[dukes2011]

My mother is similar to HBB's father. She is always telling me that because this is my first love, I shouldn't take my relationship so seriously and that I should prepare my heart for when we break up (so nice to have such a positive and supporting mother, eh?).

I always dreamed of a guy who would tick all the boxes, but I never thought I'd find a person so perfect for me in every single way. We just... mesh together so well.

Christian and I have both semi-dated other people before we got together but we would both say that this is our first serious relationship. This is the first time either of us have really, truly loved someone and put in the effort to show that we loved them. We've come a long way and we've both grown together, and even though we're young (turning 21 and 23 this year), I feel like this is it. Neither of us have the need/want to look elsewhere to see if the grass is greener.

Don't let negativity get you down. Just keep doing what you're doing and keep proving them wrong.

My mom used to say things like neither one of us knew what else was out there because we are each others' first serious relationship and it bugged me to no end! I was constantly telling her we didn't feel the need to date other people. We both had a casual relationship in high school, so that kind of made her feel better. It hasn't been until recently that she has realized how in love we are and that we have something hard to find. People who barely even know us say we have amazing chemistry and that was before we went LD. Yes we are young at 22 and 23, but we know we're not in any way settling and we don't have an interest in dating other people.

[kiara_silver]

My mom has made comments like that too. That not to put everything into this relationship because he's my first. Or telling my dad, reminding him that he's my first love. Little things but just shows she doesn't expect us to last. I am not settling. And your SO shouldnt feel that he is either so you shouldn't worry about what others think. I think first loves that make it and survive are very lucky, they didn't have to get there hearts broken or have to put themselves out there.

[marbear31]

Well yes it CAN work, thanks very much!! What else are we but proof of this? :P

Seriously, though, I hate when people get all negative about my SO and I, and it really irked me for awhile. Then, I took into perspective that they don't know him as completely as I do; they don't know the way he appreciates, loves, and cherishes me firsthand, so how can I expect them to feel the same way about him as I do? Naturally, they're going to gravitate more towards societal standards, because, well, they're normal. Most people are hurt before they find someone for life; it's the trial and error sort of dating world we live in. But to the people who don't understand, I believe it's truly all a matter of perspective. If they can see you both firsthand, and if you keep pushing, keep trying to include them in on your happiness, I truly believe (if they love you) they will only be happy for you. If there's any sort of concern (however unfair it seems), it's because they want the best for you, and if they love you, they don't want to let you go to just anyone. If you try everything, however, there's only so much you can do before you just step back and realize they're not going to be as included in your love life. And that's okay. I sure hope they'll eventually come around, if you remain quietly firm and positive about your love, and show yourself that you can be faithful, I'm sure the positive energy will rub off on them.

How else can they believe in happiness if they don't see it exhibited from you?

That being said, the way I look at first love, it's like any other relationship: why else are you committed to someone unless you see a future with them (however you define it, whether marriage, long-term partner, etc.)? You know that saying, "the grass is always greener on the other side?" Sometimes, in first love, you step onto the greenest grass; the colors are brightest on your first-go-around, and you're lucky enough to have found home. In my case, I just waited until I found someone I could spend the rest of my life with, and who ended up defying all expectations. It's not in my nature to date casually, and that's why my first love is my last. I'm very picky, and I waited.

The wait was SO worth it.

[Engel]

I am my SOs first girlfriend. First partner in a sexual way as well. He had only kissed a couple of girls before me, but didn't even go to second or third bases with them...
and he is by no means ugly! when we were in brazil i saw many girls looking at him like wanting to take him from me. and i was like: "haha, he is miiiine, biatches" not saying out loud, but thinking. :x


anyway, so yes, i am his first love (he had liked some girls before, but that kind of innocent younger thing that you like someone you never even kissed or anything with, but was never in love until he met me.


And we are together for over 3 years, married for a month. and happy. so yes, I do believe first love can be final love in some cases!

[Engel]

If you don't trust him to 'fight off' the women who will be throwing themselves at him (and what woman does that, really?), you need to re-consider your relationship. But it has nothing to do with first love or not.

there are many many brazilian girls that do that, really! I have seen it! sounds like stuff people come up with, but it really does exist. one of the reasons i only have a few brazilian friends left, even fewer single brazilian friends. because i have seen that many girls where i come from, if they want the guy, they will throw themselves at him, trying to appear friendly first, and as soon as you turn your back they will flirt with him and throw themselves at him. i have seen this happen with boyfriends or husbands of other women. i never did that though. the guy having a girlfriend (or even worst, a wife) is where i would cross the line when i was single. unfortunately, i am the exception. even one of my best friends, is with a guy that used to be married, and she stole him from his wife. they are years together now. but it will never change the way their relationship started.

[Dziubka]

I guess if there was a guy I really wanted, I wouldn't care if he had a girlfriend either. Unless she was my friend, of course. But I wouldn't 'throw myself' at anyone, taken or not. I'm too proud for that.

It still takes two to tango, though. I really don't care if other girls hit on my boyfriend or make unambigious propositions. I can't tell other people what to do, and frankly I can understand them I'd totally make a move as well, even if he was in a relationship.
If the only reason he wasn't cheating was lack of opportunity, then I wouldn't want him. He's supposed to not be cheating, because he doesn't want to. Even if he had a million opportunities every single day. Actually, the fact that he didn't have much experience before me makes it easier for me to trust him. If he didn't sleep around with random women all the years before he met me, then why would he start now?

First love, second love, as a matter of fact most relationships don't work out in the long run. Not only first ones. Is there a greater chance that the third relationship is going to work? And who really bases their love life on statistics?