Advice please!

[Qman]

Hello everyone, found this site a few weeks ago and have now decided to join to get some advice. Today was the 1 year anniversary for my girlfriend and I. We were together for 11 months of it and have decided to try a LDR. I was in her country and was never planning on staying and told her at the start of our relationship that I would break up with her when I left, even though she wan't something serious. Then after about 3 months together we got quite serious, sleeping together every night (we lived a 5 min walk away from each other) and I agreed to try a LDR with her when the time came. We had sorted it out...exactly how many months apart we would be and everything (9 months to go). Anyway, in January, about a month before I was going to leave, she broke up with me. Not because she didn't want to do a LDR, but because she said she felt confused. I didn't contact her, but a few days later she contacted me and we got back together and the last 3 weeks together was perfect. So we've been apart 1 month now, enduring a 15 hour time difference. The thing is, I'm not sure how 'into me' she is. To cut a long story short, I have a gut feeling about it and I seem to be the one to instigate conversation most of the time. I still think she loves me, I just have a bad feeling. I know girls normally like the whole unobtainable guy thing and I was sure not to 'smother' her, although we were bother crazy for each other...like I said we saw each other almost every day. I never had any problem with that, but now we're apart it's hard to know how 'cool' to play it before it seems like I'm not caring due to the distance. Should I ignore some messages from her? Confront her about it? Wait a week? Email her? I'm all new to this and don't want to seem needy, I just want to be reassured she loves me, or I want her to be honest if she doesn't, but I don't want to push her at the same time. Advice would be great.

[snow_girl]

LDRs aren't a game. Don't try to play it cool or act distant because its what you think girls like. You've been together a year it is past the point of playing hard to get. If she emails you, email her back. If you want to call her then do it. She wouldn't waste time in a long distance relationship if she wasn't 'into you' if anything LDRs require more work so the waiting days to call or email her back is probably not a good idea.

[dglynn77]

LDRs aren't a game. Don't try to play it cool or act distant because its what you think girls like. You've been together a year it is past the point of playing hard to get. If she emails you, email her back. If you want to call her then do it. She wouldn't waste time in a long distance relationship if she wasn't 'into you' if anything LDRs require more work so the waiting days to call or email her back is probably not a good idea.

Agreed!

[Qman]

Thanks for the replies. You're right, it isn't a game. Basically Wednesday morning (her time) she's going on a business trip until Saturday, so she won't have access to the interet until then. I was planning on calling her cell (which neither of us have ever done since we've been in a LDR) as a surprise because she can't get to the computer to use skype while she's away. The thing is she didn't reply to my last email (she can email form her cell, but not skype). It's not too pushy to call her? Thanks again!

[snow_girl]

It doesn't mean anything that she hasn't replied to your email yet, maybe she read it right before she had to leave somewhere, maybe she is thinking of something substantial to write back. Just call her.

[Shayxoxo]

LDR arent a game, you cant ignore each other like that for the simple fact that this type of relationship takes a lot more communications because basically while you are apart all you have are emails texts skype calls thats it. Dont ignore her messages, best bet is to just express how you feel.

[Qman]

Thanks again everyone. I'm going to call her tomorrow and will let you know if it goes well. Fingers crossed!

[Shayxoxo]

Im sure it will go fine. Just stay strong. Its hard believe me I know but with time it gets easier.

[Qman]

Made the call about an hour ago and she seemed really surprised and happy. We only spoke for a couple of minutes as she was working late. My problem is that I worry to much. If she doesn't reply to an email or is late to an online date I guess I overexaggerate, but I know it's stupid and trust her 100% and never let her know about it. I mean she was the same when we were in the same city, she just doesn't take much notice of time because she's latina. But now we're in a LDR it's harder for me. I guess I need to let her know, but in a way that doesn't come across as needy. I think I'm going to chat to her about it on the weekend when she gets back. I'll ask her to be in contact more and initiate conversation. I know it's stupid, but I must be insecure and I like her to let me know she's thinking of me. I really hope she is.

[Shayxoxo]

Its not stupid at all. Distance is hard and I've definitely been there before. Maybe you guys should just set up a schedule so you both know when you are going to talk and stuff. As for emails some people are just bad at getting to them. I know for a fact im horrible! You shouldnt worry so much though, if she decided to be part of this situation its because she cares about you, and im sure she doesnt mean to ignore your emails.

[Kairi19]

My SO sometimes takes a while to reply to my emails (like today ) but I know that it's because he's having a busy time or has been unable to get an internet connection. If he can contact me, he will. Saying that, I do tend to worry when he doesn't come online when he says he will - I play all sorts of different scenarios in my head!
Try not to worry too much, if this girl didn't love you then she wouldn't have entered into an LDR in the first place. You've been together for a year so you don't need to worry about sounding needy. If you want to get in contact with her then do so. Your girlfriend may not be good at conversation and is slow at replying to messages, but that doesn't mean she doesn't love you. If you need reassurance then talk to her about it, but don't accuse her of being uncaring

[Qman]

Well contrary to the advice she dumped me today. Ex boyfriends suck.