Confused and Hurt. Advise needed

[lucyeo10]

So I didn't know where to post this so if it's in the wrong place I'm sorry. It's rather long so forgive, feel free to skim over it. And thanks in advance for the advice whether negative or positive I would just like to know if I'm doing the right thing, what I need to change, etc. Any help is needed thanks. P.s sorry if I spelt anything wrong, I'm not a English major hah.

So here is my dilemma, I'm not in a LDR but if we did enter into a relationship(which my bestfriend after hearing my story ha says is possible.. I really don't know) it would be a LD one, with 500 miles and a time zone seperating us. we've been talking to each other for a month and within that month every single day we have texted non-stop(don't judge.. I just want to see where this goes), we connect.. we've had deep meaningful conversations, we've talked about our deepest fears, the future (he wants to buy a house) and I tell him everything because I'm not afraid of him judging me. I'm honest with him and I ask the not so pretty questions like where do we stand? What's going on with us..You know.. He has talked about the distance and it bothers him at he can't do the basic hold my hand and just cuddle but it's not holding us back.

Sometimes I get insecure about if he wants me but then I say he wouldn't have stayed a month, never hearing my voice(one of the issues we face, I'm afraid I'm going to mess it up but he is understanding and he said whenever I am ready I know his number... His patience is wearing thin though I can tell) if he didn't care or want me. He puts up with my crazy PMS lol he is sweet but he doesn't let me walk over him.

There are many thing against us. distance being number one, I commend those who are doing it.. (he works a lot.. His life is basically sleep work workout sleep). The second is Me, I feel like I am holding back because I'm afraid of getting hurt( you can call it commitment issues). I'm in college and involved in so much that I sometimes get home at 10:30 pm since 8 am, he calms me down a lot but I get stressed and sometimes i take it out on him and I was honest about it one day and I said its all my fault I'm sorry I have to deal with my stress better because I don't want to lose what we have. The third is Him, he gets PMS too lol. I don't know why, we haven't talked about it. This has happened not once but many times and I get frustrated/hurt and I vent to my bestfriend but I hate emotionally dumping on her.. So anyways this example is the most recent, while at work (time zone) he wakes me up with the randomest text ever (lol he does that) and we just roll with it (we exchange pictures a lot). I sent him a picture of me just woke up, no makeup and all haha and i was like this is has good it gets when i have just woken up and he was sweet about it he goes you look so sleepy and cute.. really what guy says that? Anyways but then later on in the day he completely shuts down on me, he goes k, nm, idk and then no reply and I'm like use your words. i don't receive a message until late at night but by then I'm confused and hurt has to what i did wrong..if I did anything (I am by no means perfect, who is? I will admit when I'm wrong and apologize) by that point I don't want to talk to him. This has not just happened once... And I get that he is a guy and maybe I'm making a big deal out of it but it just leaves me confused and hurt. (he told me he has trust issues but stil i don't like the roller coaster ride where we are good one minute and the next he doesn't want to talk to me)

Last problem.. is the physical attraction.. I'm not a supermodel or anything.. I'm okay looking, i work out, whatever he said he found me attractive and he pretty good looking himself hehe but there is nothing like the person actually being there in person.. How do I fix that?

[Biddlybiddlybombop]

Woah woah. Slow down. I get the feeling you've kinda... thought-vommed onto the page here.
1. If you're considering a long distance relationship, hang around this forum for a while. Go and read some success stories, PM members if you think that their experience can help you, just spend some time learning about what that commitment means and could be. I can't tell you "Yes, your situation will work out, exactly hows you want it, for sure". But I can tell you that it's possible. Like I said. Browse around the site, learn some things.
2. If you DO go for a long distance relationship, people are going to think you're crazy. It's a hazard of the relationship. People are going to tell you you're stupid, people are going to be skeptical. If you want it to work out, you're going to have to follow your own opinion on whether or not the relationship is worth the distance.
3. Your appearence : at the end of the day, there is only so much you can do to 'fix' your appearence short of plastic surgery. You say he says he finds you attractive, so stop worrying about it. Yes, everyone looks a little different in person, in real life, there, in front of you, but you're not going to be so unbelieveably different that he won't find you gorgeous still. Trust that he finds you attractive, and also that your appearence is not the ONLY thing he finds attractive about you. He wouldn't bother texting you "all day" if he just liked your face, but thought you were boring.
4. The reason he is "PMS"ing is probably because he's tired, hungry, or busy. It almost definitely does not have anything to do with something you're doing wrong. When he's like this [provided you guys haven't argued or you've made a stupid comment or something has gone wrong for him that day] try to avoid wondering what you did wrong, and accept that he's just hungry-tired-busy. Feel free to ask him if he's one of these three, just to enforce that you KNOW something is up, and he's not behaving normally, but just... being mad because he's mono-syllabic isn't going to solve the issue.

[lucyeo10]

Thanks for the advice that was much needed . And yep I just kinda unloaded everything on here so sorry about that.
When I said fix that i didn't mean fix my appearance, I'm one of those people that believe you should not change your physical appearance to pacify anybody, I just meant how to make it seem like he is here (present) I just can't imagine him here (sorry if I'm not making sense I really don't know how to explain)

I agree with you that saying something is better than stewing about it in silence.. I know I have to work on things about myself personally and everyday is a learning and growing process.

[SDPersona]

Moon already said it much better words than I could, so I just wanted to confirm that men can get 'PMS'. Mostly they're crabby when they're hungry. Only one solution for that! Gg