Need help moving on.

[Sunnyside193]

Hello all,
I'm not sure if anyone here remembers me but I need some help and I know you guys give amazing advice. Im sorry Im gonna be such a downer

So for those who dont remember me I was in a CD relationship which went LD. A total time of 2 and half years (or there abouts). In October he broke up with me and I was quite devastated and once I was feeling better I stopped beign active on here to help with the healing.

It's been about 4 months now and after the first month and a bit things started to slowly pick up as I tried my best to move on. We didnt talk much at first but after that month and a half we still kept in contact, talking occassionally and what not. I started Uni this year which really helped with the moving on process and I thought I was starting to get over him. Until I got home from work tonight.

He is in a relationship with someone else and although I am happy for him its opened up the large wound I had done so well at trying to healing. I feel like I did when the break up happened all over again. So basically I am here to ask if anyone has any advice on how to feel better? I know its probably going to be something I need to give time but how can I not feel so miserable and go on with my life. I really dont want this to affect my Uni work
Thanks in advance

[snow_girl]

The best idea would be to delete him from facebook for awhile. Nothing worse then logging in and seeing pics of him and his new arm candy.

[ChibiFelicia]

I have to say for me the best idea would be to cut contact until i've healed and i dont usually contact them after. Main reason why i dont have any contact with ex's.

[Biddlybiddlybombop]

I'm so sorry to hear this. After a break up, pain can come and go in little waves, and sometimes you will get re-overcome with that sadness. The fact that he has a new girlfriend has just re-iterated that time is moving on, and that you're not togther anymore. It's a shock to you, and it hurts like hell. On top of that, it was a pretty long-term relationship, so of course it's going to take time to heal.

I agree with everyone else. Cut contact for a while. It will definitely help the healing process. And remind yourself that you're 4 months into this recovery, you're commited, and you're going to get through this. You've been doing this for four months. You can keep going.

[Moon]

Listen, I know you want to stay in touch and be "friends", but in doing that with someone you've had feelings for, you've also got front-row seats to watching them move on from you. The best thing for you to do, like ChibiFelicia said, is just cut contact. It's hard at first, and stings a little, but the relationship is over, don't prolong the hurt and drag out the healing. If you say "Oh no, I could never do that, you must be crazy!!" OK then, but remember that you're going to see and hear about their new relationships, and if you can handle that, then it's all good.

[LatinButterfly]

I do agree cutting contact is the best thing you can do in order to move on properly. My then SO and I ended the relationship not so long ago and one of the first things I did was to delete him from my sight (Facebook, iDevices Apps, Skype, etc) I didn't get rid of the pictures but I placed them inside a special box, that is of course away from my sight as well.
I let myself cry for about a week and a half and after that I picked myself up and dusted myself off. I avoided being by myself for long periods of time, I tried to focus on other things, I started to be more active at the gym (must do), I made all kind of plans with friends and even took a weekend trip to a neighbor country (also with friends).

I would be lying if I say I didn't/don't think of him every once in a while, but having cut all type of contact with him, focusing on myself, doing things I like and enjoy; has definitely helped me to move on faster or at least in a less painful way.

[Sunnyside193]

Thanks guys for all the advice. I have gone and hidden him on everything I can think that I have him on. Hopefully this will help

[Kerry]

my ex-bf had a new gf 3 months after we broke up. like you I was also in college when it happened- right at the beginning of the semester. I let myself cry whenever I wanted and tried not to brood over him, which was tough. one thing I also found overall that helped me was NOT keeping in contact with him, although every part of me wanted to. of course, I had to learn this lesson for myself and I wish I had just listened. I kept in contact with email and I met him for lunch a few times. BIG MISTAKE!!! these things would just make me cry more because I knew I couldn't have him. perspective has shown me that he wasn't all that much of a catch but in the moment he was.

so my advice to you hun is to cut off all communication. if there's anything out that reminds you of him stuff it in a closet somewhere so you don't see it. put away all pictures and don't look at them.

you'll probably cry and that's ok.

((hugs))