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    #1

    New Relationship.

    I have a new bf which is long distance as usual, well anywho I know I have not been on this often but no point really when I did not have a bf. Well anywho I have a couple questions.
    I have been talking to him for about a week and we we really hit it off so he asked me out actually today. I really like him, but I am scared that we got into a relationship to fast maybe. My other relationship with Alex happened after a day and lasted about 4 months so maybe not. He did say I love you but he said it just slipped out which is fine but do you really think he already loves me? Not saying its a bad thing but I think I am just afraid I will lose him if it goes to fast. I told him that I want to take it slow and he said okay. I am really happy though, I have not been this happy in a while. He is amazing, makes me feel like pure gold. Also I feel ready for a new relationship but do you think I have got into one to fast? I broke up with Alex around New years.

    xoxo - Marissa
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    #2
    What is the rush to get into a relationship with this guy? I have never even close distance starting a relationship with anyone after a week. Get to know the person, you can hardly know anything about them after that long. Chat, have fun talking for hours but why rush in to the bf/gf thing?

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      #3
      Originally posted by snow_girl View Post
      What is the rush to get into a relationship with this guy? I have never even close distance starting a relationship with anyone after a week. Get to know the person, you can hardly know anything about them after that long. Chat, have fun talking for hours but why rush in to the bf/gf thing?
      I agree. I think rushing is asking for a distaster.

      Comment

        #4
        yes but I am getting to know him, and we are dating so when you date you can get to know someone? and also I am not trying to do it fast, I wanted to date him. Not like I didn't want to, I would of said no.

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          #5
          Yeaaaaaah, but you usually know someone well enough to know you want the same thing and then get in to a relationship instead of meeting someone on the street and then saying "Hi I am ___ be my boyfriend and lets get to know each other" You said in your first post that it seems to be moving fast and I don't think he can love you after a week.

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            #6
            We have talked alot though , and lots of people ask someone out after just meeting them. When I met Alex my ex bf, I said I love you after like one day and even of it was fast and not true completely we lasted quite a while I guess. I know he does not love me, he said it by accident. He is probably just lusting me, but that can lead to love.

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              #7
              I personally think you're moving too fast. I met my boyfriend online, but we knew each other and talked for over a year before we really became exclusive, and I didn't call him my boyfriend until about 4 weeks into our first visit (which was about 18 months after I first met him online).

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                #8
                gah okay maybe I did move to fast. I will just tell him that and we can be friends for longer and then be together if it works out. I do need to learn more about him anyhow.

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                  #9
                  wait but, when you date someone its like you get to know them and then if you really like them you realize that you want to be with them. so is dating like getting to know someone? cause that is how I picture it. Its not like he is saying like all this sappy love stuff, he knows to take it slow and that we may not work out but we are getting to know eachother...so I think its okay.

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                    #10
                    I talked to my boyfriend for three weeks over texting/Facebook/ect before we had our first date. We became official 5 days after that first date. It's a little different since we started close distance but I don't think you have to know someone forever before dating them. Just treat it as a getting to know you period and don't become too emotionally invested.

                    Became a couple: March 17th, 2010
                    Started our college long distance relationship: August 2011
                    Surprise engagement in Disneyworld! : March 22nd, 2013
                    Closed the distance: May 2nd, 2014
                    Became his wife and started our happily ever after!: May 17th, 2014

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Just be friends for now. You can become good friends and then become gf/bf...


                      sigpic

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                        #12
                        Originally posted by floridaellen View Post
                        I talked to my boyfriend for three weeks over texting/Facebook/ect before we had our first date. We became official 5 days after that first date. It's a little different since we started close distance but I don't think you have to know someone forever before dating them. Just treat it as a getting to know you period and don't become too emotionally invested.
                        Exactly how I feel thank you

                        Comment

                          #13
                          Originally posted by floridaellen View Post
                          It's a little different since we started close distance but I don't think you have to know someone forever before dating them. Just treat it as a getting to know you period and don't become too emotionally invested.
                          Word!!

                          Actually, I'm going to take (sort of) the opposite viewpoint. I think every relationship is different, and close distance makes it easier to know someone on an immediate, tangible level. However, it's not saying that when you're online, you can't immediately connect to someone, and be interested in pursuing a relationship with them. I think floridaellen put it perfectly: don't get too emotionally invested. However, why not date him? It's okay to take the time to get to know him, but maybe not exclusive yet? It's definitely ultimately your decision--my advice: tread lightly, but don't be afraid to plunge in.

                          My boyfriend and I have been together since the first day we met (we consider it our anniversary, at least). We were just one of those sorts of couples that fell together, though, and once I met him, everything else just kind of faded away, and we just...were, you know? I think it's VERY important to get to know someone before you trust them fully (no duh, right? :P), but don't be afraid to call it dating if you're romantically involved. Follow your heart, and I hope it will lead to your greatest happiness.
                          "I love thee to the depth, and breadth, and height my soul can reach..." ~Elizabeth Barrett Browning

                          Comment

                            #14
                            My boyfriend and I met, hung out a little bit, talked over facebook chat at night (we lived in different dorms on opposite sides of the same campus), got a little distant, and then got together and were official and exclusive after about 4 weeks--from the day we met to when we got together. He told me he loved me about a week and a half into the relationship. I told him on our one month anniversary. (I've looked back on it now a lot, it's quite obvious to me (and to him) that it was love at first site to some extent for both of us.) Our relationship is my first one ever.

                            So I have no place saying that you're moving too fast. But if you're questioning whether or not it is, you're probably uncomfortable with it. If it feels like you have to in a way justify the speed you're moving at, you're probably not comfortable with how fast you are going.

                            I never once questioned how fast my boyfriend and I moved in our relationship. I mean yes, compared to other people I realize that we moved very quickly, but the speed never once made me feel like I was moving too fast. I actually tried to slow our relationship down a bit and that didn't feel right at all. The speed at which we were going is where we both wanted to be. If you don't feel like that, then I'd have to say you may be moving too fast.
                            ". . . We obviously have to come to accept it, but that doesn't stop it from gnawing at us day by day.
                            The best we can do is enjoy our time together, anticipate our reunions, and remain passionate and loyal through distance." ~Mike <3



                            ~*~11.21.2010~*~

                            Comment

                              #15
                              Originally posted by 11MikesGirl21 View Post
                              My boyfriend and I met, hung out a little bit, talked over facebook chat at night (we lived in different dorms on opposite sides of the same campus), got a little distant, and then got together and were official and exclusive after about 4 weeks--from the day we met to when we got together. He told me he loved me about a week and a half into the relationship. I told him on our one month anniversary. (I've looked back on it now a lot, it's quite obvious to me (and to him) that it was love at first site to some extent for both of us.) Our relationship is my first one ever.

                              So I have no place saying that you're moving too fast. But if you're questioning whether or not it is, you're probably uncomfortable with it. If it feels like you have to in a way justify the speed you're moving at, you're probably not comfortable with how fast you are going.

                              I never once questioned how fast my boyfriend and I moved in our relationship. I mean yes, compared to other people I realize that we moved very quickly, but the speed never once made me feel like I was moving too fast. I actually tried to slow our relationship down a bit and that didn't feel right at all. The speed at which we were going is where we both wanted to be. If you don't feel like that, then I'd have to say you may be moving too fast.

                              Well I was not really questioning it but well nevermind cant say I was not. I think the reason I was is that I am a bit afraid to get into a new relationship and this guy I really connected with. When I heard his voice I knew that he was gonna be with me, I got this feeling. I just am afraid that the same thing that happened with my ex is gonna happen with him. I love the fact that we are dating and since seeing these posts, I am going to just go with it. If something happens and we were not meant to be, not a big deal. I definetely want to be with this guy though, and I should just follow my heart. I am going to move slower though, well at least try to. I tend to say I love you really early, even though its always true. Thanks btw ^^

                              ---------- Post added at 12:24 AM ---------- Previous post was at 12:21 AM ----------

                              Originally posted by marbear31 View Post
                              Word!!

                              Actually, I'm going to take (sort of) the opposite viewpoint. I think every relationship is different, and close distance makes it easier to know someone on an immediate, tangible level. However, it's not saying that when you're online, you can't immediately connect to someone, and be interested in pursuing a relationship with them. I think floridaellen put it perfectly: don't get too emotionally invested. However, why not date him? It's okay to take the time to get to know him, but maybe not exclusive yet? It's definitely ultimately your decision--my advice: tread lightly, but don't be afraid to plunge in.

                              My boyfriend and I have been together since the first day we met (we consider it our anniversary, at least). We were just one of those sorts of couples that fell together, though, and once I met him, everything else just kind of faded away, and we just...were, you know? I think it's VERY important to get to know someone before you trust them fully (no duh, right? :P), but don't be afraid to call it dating if you're romantically involved. Follow your heart, and I hope it will lead to your greatest happiness.

                              Aww thanks! I hope it leads to happiness too. Thats awesome though about how you two fell in love so fast, its like love at first sight.

                              Comment

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