New Relationship.

[Zapookie]

Well you know, more power to you then. It is good to follow your heart but it's also wise to follow your gut, too. I really think though, that him telling you he loves you is a major red flag. It's not possible to love someone over the internet after only talking for one week. That's not love (in my opinion anyway), that's more being in love with the idea of love, or it could be lust as well.

Love takes time to grow. It's like a seed. Plant it in the fresh soil. Water it, give it sunlight, protect it. Then it will grow into a seedling, which will grow into a great tree over time.

Anywho I wish you the best, I would just hate for something to happen again. It's best to keep your heart protected until you know for sure that this person is someone you can fully trust.

[marbear31]

Well you know, more power to you then. It is good to follow your heart but it's also wise to follow your gut, too. I really think though, that him telling you he loves you is a major red flag. It's not possible to love someone over the internet after only talking for one week. That's not love (in my opinion anyway), that's more being in love with the idea of love, or it could be lust as well.

Love takes time to grow. It's like a seed. Plant it in the fresh soil. Water it, give it sunlight, protect it. Then it will grow into a seedling, which will grow into a great tree over time.

Anywho I wish you the best, I would just hate for something to happen again. It's best to keep your heart protected until you know for sure that this person is someone you can fully trust.

The words of a very, very wise woman.

Yeah, can I just rephrase my post into yours, Zapookie? :P

---------- Post added at 01:27 AM ---------- Previous post was at 01:23 AM ----------

Well I was not really questioning it but well nevermind cant say I was not. I think the reason I was is that I am a bit afraid to get into a new relationship and this guy I really connected with. When I heard his voice I knew that he was gonna be with me, I got this feeling. I just am afraid that the same thing that happened with my ex is gonna happen with him. I love the fact that we are dating and since seeing these posts, I am going to just go with it. If something happens and we were not meant to be, not a big deal. I definetely want to be with this guy though, and I should just follow my heart. I am going to move slower though, well at least try to. I tend to say I love you really early, even though its always true. Thanks btw ^^

---------- Post added at 12:24 AM ---------- Previous post was at 12:21 AM ----------




Aww thanks! I hope it leads to happiness too. Thats awesome though about how you two fell in love so fast, its like love at first sight.

It's like Zapookie said: love takes time to grow. But, in my SO and I's case, it was connection at first sight, but love is what takes time to grow. I've loved him (it's not something I can explain properly in words) since I met him--I remember, very vividly, when I was heading to another lunch table with some friends, it was like a force stopped me in the middle of the cafeteria (we met in the lunch line at international student orientation, and he invited me to join his table when I already had plans to sit with other friends), and I couldn't not obey it...so I just followed it, and went with my gut. He had a lot more crap to work through before he could finally admit the staying power of our love (past relationships and such), but now...letting time take its fruition is the best thing we could have ever done. Just trust, and it will blossom where its seeds are planted in rich soil.

[Engel]

Well you know, more power to you then. It is good to follow your heart but it's also wise to follow your gut, too. I really think though, that him telling you he loves you is a major red flag. It's not possible to love someone over the internet after only talking for one week. That's not love (in my opinion anyway), that's more being in love with the idea of love, or it could be lust as well.

Love takes time to grow. It's like a seed. Plant it in the fresh soil. Water it, give it sunlight, protect it. Then it will grow into a seedling, which will grow into a great tree over time.

Anywho I wish you the best, I would just hate for something to happen again. It's best to keep your heart protected until you know for sure that this person is someone you can fully trust.

exactly. a fried of mine dated a guy long distance for almost 2 ears before they broke up. they never saw each other in person (it was an international relationship). on the first day they talked, he asked her to be his girlfriend and the same day, or the second day at the latest, they were telling how they loved each other! I kid you not.


LOVED! seriously? never even seeing in person and with one or two days talking? i think it was like you said, being in love with the idea of love, wanting badly to be in love.

[BabyDimples]

I totally understand what you are saying Xandergirl20. You date someone to get to know them, and that's basically what you are doing. Do what you feel is right by you. Your young, it doesn't matter how matter if you rush into relationships. It's not a life changing decision for you. Maybe he will end up being your one and only, but who can tell? So long as your happy and you both want to (which you obviously do) then it's all good. If you think that it is right by you, and it makes you happy, then go for it!

[Rugger]

My SO and I started dating officially 6 weeks after we met. During this time, I spent a lot of time with him and got to know him way better than I would have had I just jumped into the relationship. I think that getting to know someone when you aren't dating vs. when you are dating is different. I didn't feel lie I had to lie to him when we were together. I could just be myself with no pressure to date him.

But hat's just me, some people feel that they know a person during a short period of time. I'm not that trusting.

[LoveL]

..... He is probably just lusting me, but that can lead to love.

This is inaccurate.

Don't be mistaken. People can develop really strong feelings and have a strong emotional attachment to lust and infatuation, but that will never turn into real love because it's not a deep enough bond. The closeness and physical connection in a relationship is what causes many people to go further in their relationships than they should, because they are confused and blinded by the overwhelming feeling of the closeness. Sometime we just want to feel a physical connection so badly that we mistake that longing desire and the seemingly fulfilling part of a new relationship that we don't actually take the time to figure out and determine whether or not two people are really meant for the each other... if two people a REALLY supposed to be together.

As I've said in other places on here, the benefit of the LDR is that you have to fall in love with the character of a person, and with their heart before you can call in love with their physical stuff, which ultimately starts LDRs on a stronger path than most CDRs, I believe.

If you want to know if you are moving too fast or if he is right for you, test it by not getting close physically and see if you still feel the same way about him. Or if he still feels the same way about you. (And I'm not talking about the pleasurable side of physical closeness.) If you can't live without someone, even their long distance presence, then you know you might have something a little special.

It's the reason why so many people have so many partners before finally finding Mr./Mrs. Right. And with each of those partners, you really, truly believe that you love them.... until the next person comes along and you realize what you had been missing this whole time in your life. People go through cycles like this over and over during the course of their lives and, if they are lucky, they end up with the person that they were supposed to be with at some point. But given your age, I wouldn't just immediately assume that the relationship you are starting out in right now is going be the person you'll be with for the rest of your life. (Granted, I could be wrong but we older cats have been your age at some point )

Date him casually, get to know him better and take the progress of the relationship as it seems to come. But do your best to try and analyze yourself before you do, so that you know what your intentions are and what his intentions are. That way, should red flags start popping up, you aren't so invested that you stay in a relationship longer than you need to. And don't let the rainbows and puppy dogs feeling trick you. They are very powerful feelings. Make sure you put them in the right place.

[Xanahtas]

Me and my SO got together after a week and 3 days of talking. I started falling for him almost instantly, confessed 5 days in, got together 5 days after. We had been talking before hand almost a year before that occasionally, and i knew a lot about him from my mate (who was his gf at the time)
We had talked for hours and hours for days on end about relationships, personal opinions, random things, familes, what we want from life, and i knew a lot about him. We decided to give it ago and we learnt more about eachother as we spent more time together. People may slate me for that but im still with him now, 19months later, enaged and very very happy So really its down to people involved.
At the moment it sounds like your just getting to know eachother, which is fine! Carry on, but just dont get too attached incase anything may slip up. Personally i dont see anything wrong with it

[Lady Death]

I met my SO several months ago on a particular site(NOT a dating site, however). Two weeks after we exchanged IM addresses and started talking, I answered him.

We did click immediately since we have so much in common. The way we act, the things we like, our fears, and so on.
But during the first few months, we did have some trust issues, because neither of us had been in a successful relationship before.


Whenever we go through those kinds of things, we sort out our thoughts and our feelings.
So far, he and I are doing pretty good.



Well, as for your relationship, I suggest waiting it out a bit. Good things aren't meant to be rushed.

[littleblue]

I kind of agree you're moving pretty fast. Love is a big word that shouldn't be thrown around lightly, and I'm not sure I believe its possible to be in love after 1 week. To me, part of love is accepting everything about a person, whether you agree with them or not.

But, at the same time, that's just me. What works for you is what's important. The only thing I will say is that if you're questioning whether you're moving too fast, then you're probably moving too fast...

[Xandergirl20]

Well you know, more power to you then. It is good to follow your heart but it's also wise to follow your gut, too. I really think though, that him telling you he loves you is a major red flag. It's not possible to love someone over the internet after only talking for one week. That's not love (in my opinion anyway), that's more being in love with the idea of love, or it could be lust as well.

Love takes time to grow. It's like a seed. Plant it in the fresh soil. Water it, give it sunlight, protect it. Then it will grow into a seedling, which will grow into a great tree over time.

Anywho I wish you the best, I would just hate for something to happen again. It's best to keep your heart protected until you know for sure that this person is someone you can fully trust.

Like I said he said "I love you" but it just slipped out, he did not mean to. He also says it but in a random flirting way like example. I got a really awesome headshot on gears, he would say "damn baby! amazing I love you even more now" or something but fooling around, not really meaning it. I already mentioned it and he said he did not mean to. He just likes me.

---------- Post added at 05:59 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:54 PM ----------

I totally understand what you are saying Xandergirl20. You date someone to get to know them, and that's basically what you are doing. Do what you feel is right by you. Your young, it doesn't matter how matter if you rush into relationships. It's not a life changing decision for you. Maybe he will end up being your one and only, but who can tell? So long as your happy and you both want to (which you obviously do) then it's all good. If you think that it is right by you, and it makes you happy, then go for it!

Thank you! for understanding what I was saying.

---------- Post added at 06:00 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:59 PM ----------

The words of a very, very wise woman.

Yeah, can I just rephrase my post into yours, Zapookie? :P

---------- Post added at 01:27 AM ---------- Previous post was at 01:23 AM ----------



It's like Zapookie said: love takes time to grow. But, in my SO and I's case, it was connection at first sight, but love is what takes time to grow. I've loved him (it's not something I can explain properly in words) since I met him--I remember, very vividly, when I was heading to another lunch table with some friends, it was like a force stopped me in the middle of the cafeteria (we met in the lunch line at international student orientation, and he invited me to join his table when I already had plans to sit with other friends), and I couldn't not obey it...so I just followed it, and went with my gut. He had a lot more crap to work through before he could finally admit the staying power of our love (past relationships and such), but now...letting time take its fruition is the best thing we could have ever done. Just trust, and it will blossom where its seeds are planted in rich soil.

I do feel a connection with him though ^^ and cute story.

---------- Post added at 06:03 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:00 PM ----------

This is inaccurate.

Don't be mistaken. People can develop really strong feelings and have a strong emotional attachment to lust and infatuation, but that will never turn into real love because it's not a deep enough bond. The closeness and physical connection in a relationship is what causes many people to go further in their relationships than they should, because they are confused and blinded by the overwhelming feeling of the closeness. Sometime we just want to feel a physical connection so badly that we mistake that longing desire and the seemingly fulfilling part of a new relationship that we don't actually take the time to figure out and determine whether or not two people are really meant for the each other... if two people a REALLY supposed to be together.

As I've said in other places on here, the benefit of the LDR is that you have to fall in love with the character of a person, and with their heart before you can call in love with their physical stuff, which ultimately starts LDRs on a stronger path than most CDRs, I believe.

If you want to know if you are moving too fast or if he is right for you, test it by not getting close physically and see if you still feel the same way about him. Or if he still feels the same way about you. (And I'm not talking about the pleasurable side of physical closeness.) If you can't live without someone, even their long distance presence, then you know you might have something a little special.

It's the reason why so many people have so many partners before finally finding Mr./Mrs. Right. And with each of those partners, you really, truly believe that you love them.... until the next person comes along and you realize what you had been missing this whole time in your life. People go through cycles like this over and over during the course of their lives and, if they are lucky, they end up with the person that they were supposed to be with at some point. But given your age, I wouldn't just immediately assume that the relationship you are starting out in right now is going be the person you'll be with for the rest of your life. (Granted, I could be wrong but we older cats have been your age at some point )

Date him casually, get to know him better and take the progress of the relationship as it seems to come. But do your best to try and analyze yourself before you do, so that you know what your intentions are and what his intentions are. That way, should red flags start popping up, you aren't so invested that you stay in a relationship longer than you need to. And don't let the rainbows and puppy dogs feeling trick you. They are very powerful feelings. Make sure you put them in the right place.

Thanks for the input :P I am already analyzing it and so far I truly do like this guy alot. We dont obsessively talk to each other, which is good. I have already been tricked by the "rainbows and puppy dogs feelings" haha soundds funny. I know what I am doing but I need to make sure he does as well.