Announcement

**kiara_silver** · March 14, 2012, 12:20 AM

I go through my low moments. Where i just feel extremely lonely. And not being able to do anything about it, just frustrated at the world, situation and sometimes even my SO just for the fact that he isn't here. Then I breath and have to relax, or after talking with him i'll feel better. No one in my family really understands it either. When I say how it's only 2 weeks, the reply is but you get 5 months after. The months before this, and the month wait in between is no big deal to them. I don't dare share my worries with them, I know my parents and siblings would like any excuse to break us up. If I share im lonely it be, you knew what you were getting in to, you wanted to be in a LDR. Frustrating! But your not alone, and it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks or says, stay strong and keep looking and planning for the future! There are hard days but there are good days as well. And it's always worth it if both of you want it.

**Kairi19** · March 14, 2012, 08:39 AM

I have my lonely moments too

My friends don't seem to understand just how hard it can be, to the point where I don't like talking about my relationship with them. Luckily my mum is very supportive and I can give her a ring if I'm feeling particularly miserable. Sometimes you do feel frustrated and upset about the situation and you question why it has to be this way when it seems so easy for other people. But at the end of the day you just have to believe that your SO is worth fighting through the pain and tears for, and that you will be together in the end

**Kelly.92** · March 14, 2012, 11:12 AM

Definately.. you would not be normal if you didnt have feelings of being lonely.
I'm at uni but live with my grandparents due to cost of living and I don't talk to them much, not about personal stuff anyway! So yes, feeling lonely and isolated are huge parts of being in an LDR, we just have to focus on getting through this week or month until our next visit... I often find writing a letter for my SO helps, including how im feeling and that I can't wait to see him... and then its something to look forward to when they call you up And say... oh I recieved your letter, as of which he is always grateful and makes me feel good

Also that is what this forum is for! We are here for you and we are all in the same boat ... cheer up and head up

Xxx

**LoveL** · March 14, 2012, 11:56 AM

We all do, brother.

People around you won't take you seriously basically just out of ignorance. They've never experienced anything like and LDR and just assume it's some stranger on the internet and you are just being led by your hormones or whatever, especially being 16 I can imagine how hard that it. There's nothing worse than being that age and not being taken seriously, right?

There is also a part of everyone that wants the whole world to be as excited about their SO as they are. And the fact of the matter is, that's simply never going to happen, even in a CDR. You'll hear things like "Oh, that's great. I'm glad you're happy." But no one is ever going to be as happy about your relationship as you are. So give them some credit there. I mean, let's be honest, how much time and energy do you put into caring about your friend's relationships? Not much, right?

Stick with it, do your thing and keep coming back to places like this for support.
You're alright, man. Chin up.

PS: Have your parents actually met the mysterious lady? Have you guys actually met each other. That would give a lot more credence to your relationship in the eyes of other people. Hell, for the longest time I was told that LoveJ wasn't even a real person.... Screw other people, bud. You know what's right and what's real.

**MeganK** · March 14, 2012, 12:10 PM

Those arent very good friends if they are saying stuff like that
to u and behind ur back, dont let the jokes get to u.
if u love this girl .. dont let her go, just bcus of what ur friends are saying.

good luck to u!

**littleblue** · March 14, 2012, 12:29 PM

I think its hard for people who aren't in our situation, and have never been, to understand. Admittedly, before my bf moved away, I never saw myself in a long distance relationship, and used to say I don't see the point in a relationship if you can't physically be with that person. But I love my SO and I want us to last. It won't be forever, and after all, that's the end goal.

My parents are fully supportive of me and love my bf, but I know they wish I was in a relationship with someone who was here, mostly for my own sake.

It's difficult when you feel like no-one understands it. But think of how good it will feel to prove them all wrong if you make it!

**Kristin91** · March 14, 2012, 01:16 PM

I think everyone in an LDR is lonely at some point or another. I know I get especially lonely and mopey right after visits and right before visits cuz I just want to see him again! Both of my parents have admitted to me that they are surprised we haven't broken up yet. My dad even told me he thought I'd break up with my SO to go out with one of my friends at school, and my mom is convinced it's a "fling". I've tried explaining that we're really serious, but she just doesn't seem to get it or care at all. It's frustrating when the people you're close to and around on a daily basis don't support your LDR, because it makes it that much harder to not feel so alone in it.

**kittyo9** · March 14, 2012, 01:36 PM

That sounds like something typical 16-year-old boys would do.

It sucks, and I wish more of them would be more commitment-oriented. You'd have a lot more support from them.

That being said, though, you've got lots of support here, and lots of people to sympathize with you. I think most of us have felt the loneliness you speak of, myself included. My parents don't want me to go visit my boyfriend alone even though I'm an adult, and I know they often ask themselves why I can't just find someone nearby, or even in the same country. It's not the easiest thing.

Just know that you have friends here.

**LoveJ** · March 14, 2012, 05:58 PM

Thanks to Michelle and Frank, us LDRs don't have to feel all that lonely anymore.

It IS hard to get the same kind of support from people close to you when you're in an LDR as you can when you're face to face with someone every day. Why that is, I would imagine it's just because people figure that just because you're not in the same city means you don't deal with everything that goes into a relationship, which we all know is completely untrue.

The state of the world these days is basically an unspoken rule that everyone thinks they have a right to judge everyone else, regardless of their circumstance or situation. It's harsh and depressing to say, but it's true. People just aren't as supportive and compassionate as they used to be in general, and sadly, in cases like our where the situation is all but traditional, it shows the most. The best advice I have is keep your head up, ignore the negative things people say (because, really, what do they know? They're not on the inside of your relationship), and focus on what you have. And we're all here for you when you need it.

**usmcgirl** · March 14, 2012, 09:32 PM

There's not a whole lot I can say that hasn't already been said. Just know that a) it'll all be worth it in the end and b) it really does help if you talk to people on here. I know tons of people on here are so supportive & if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here, and there's dozens of other people who'd be willing to listen. Keep your head up, bro. It'll be okay.

xx

**rebhan71** · March 14, 2012, 10:23 PM

To clarify up the questions, yes i have met her in person. The first 3 years i knew her she was here. My parents have met her before. She was here all last summer. Her dad got a job transfer to Europe 2 years ago and she's coming back to St. Louis to close the distance for good this summer. Alot of my friends know her since she went to school with us, I just dont get any support from ANYONE. My dad just tonight was making jokes at dinner saying "How are you going to get by without talking to precious Morgan for a week while you're on this cruise?" And, "you better bring a picture with you to kiss at night since you're going to miss her so much." They just make fun of it alot, and everytime they do it makes me feel weak and brings me to tears sometimes

**LoveL** · March 15, 2012, 07:33 AM

Originally posted by rebhan71 View Post

To clarify up the questions, yes i have met her in person. The first 3 years i knew her she was here. My parents have met her before. She was here all last summer. Her dad got a job transfer to Europe 2 years ago and she's coming back to St. Louis to close the distance for good this summer. Alot of my friends know her since she went to school with us, I just dont get any support from ANYONE. My dad just tonight was making jokes at dinner saying "How are you going to get by without talking to precious Morgan for a week while you're on this cruise?" And, "you better bring a picture with you to kiss at night since you're going to miss her so much." They just make fun of it alot, and everytime they do it makes me feel weak and brings me to tears sometimes

I don't know your dad, but to me that sounds like a little macho ribbing more than anything else. My brother and I say things to each other that would make other people think we are mortal enemies. But the fact of the matter is, we'd go to bat for each other any day of the week and we know that all of the insults and faux name-calling is all in jest.

Have you told your dad how much that kind of stuff bothers you, since being in an LDR is already hard? Have you told him that it basically just feels like one more stressor that you don't need right now? I mean, you can gauge tone better than anyone on the internet because you're right there with him. And you may think that he should recognize what you're going through, but until you specifically tell him how you feel, he's always going to have the excuse that he didn't know how much it bothered you.

As far as the feeling weak and wanting to cry, you have to stay focused, man. I don't have to tell you how hard it is to miss someone every day of the week so much that it makes your whole body hurt, because I know you've felt it. And what happens, when other outside forces and stressors (like your dad's little jokes) come up, it sometimes feels like the straw that broke the camel's back. But you have to put everything into perspective. You need to focus on the next time you guys are scheduled to see each other and make the most of your days leading up to that point.

I'm the pot calling the kettle black right now. It absolutely breaks my heart to think about the reality of the distance between LoveJ and myself. I struggle mightily at night, when we have our alone time and I just look at her and the fact hits me that I can't just reach in there and give her a hug, or a little kiss (or a big one for that matter

It's tough. All of the distance and the missing and the pain and the anguish of not being together everyday, coupled with the fact that people around you not only don't support you but, in our case, actually ostracize you for it.... It's hard. So feeling shitty and on the verge of tears sometimes is completely normal. We have a lot to deal with. Just keep your eyes focused on the happiness that you two have together, the fact that you already know when she is coming down to close the distance and you'll be OK. And then, when she finally gets there, you can rub it right in everyone's face!

"BOOYA FAMILY! She's here and this is legit and....IN YO' FACE!"

Announcement

I feel so alone sometimes

I feel so alone sometimes

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment