Leaving for College... now we will be even farther apart.

[raven]

Hi everyone, I'm brand new to the forum.
But I wanted to share my story with you all.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year now, and we will soon be going off to college in the fall. We do not attend the same school, he goes to an inner city catholic private school and I go to a suburban school almost 40 miles away. So I see him about once a month, possibly twice. We met last year at an engineering summer program, and we fell in love.

Now we will be going to different colleges, and he is an engineering major so he will be doing a lot of studying and preparing for his education. I will be almost 300 miles away from him, me in central ny state, and he in massachusetts. We have made it strong for this past year, we still have the same fire and love for each other that we had when we first met. Nothing has changed.

We are both extremely open with each other, tell each other everything, and he also my best friend. At first I thought that this was just puppy love, but now I can even see that older adults see us as a great match and have asked us how we are going to stay together in college. I really want to stay together. We are planning on getting married (God willing).

There are always the people that put me down saying that "I'm crazy" going into college with a boyfriend, but I don't see the need to break up this perfectly fine relationship just because of distance. People always tell me that I will "find someone else" in college. But I'm not looking for someone else right now, because I am happy with the man I have.

I guess I would like to know if anyone has been through this long distance college relationship thing and just give me pointers. This relationship is very important to me, and I would like to know what to expect!

[ErinKristine]

My SO and I began dating the summer before we both entered our senior year of college, we were four hours away from each other. We would see each other one or two weekends a months and we had school breaks. In the two years we have been together we have also had an entire country between us, we've had no communication for a few weeks at a time. Currently we are six hours from each other and since we don't have matching schedules it's harder to see each other, I'm a teacher and in grad school so I have school breaks (often at different times), but I'll try to see him during my school breaks and he tries to come home one weekend a month.

[Thad]

First of all, don't break up just because of college. That is by far the dumbest suggestion people could give you. If you are happy then why throw it away? (Although its clear that you're not going to do that. Which is great!)

Secondly, it will be very difficult. I am in a similar situation. I met my SO on match.com when we both lived in Las Vegas. Catch was that I had just been accepted to the University of Massachusetts for grad school. We decided to give it a go, and see where life took us. It has been one hell of a ride. The ups are very high and the downs are very low. If you stick through it all, though, you'll have a truly rewarding relationship. My SO and I have been apart for 2 years now (in April) and we've got a little under a year until i graduate. Our success has been built on the fact that before we became long distance, we both decided the minimum we needed to get from our relationship during this time. Things like how often and when to call, how often to visit and who travels to see who. Only other thing I can suggest is see each other as much as possible for as long as possible. My SO and I see each other about once every 4 or 5 weeks, and we live nearly 3000 miles apart. I know there are others here who live Oceans apart and make things work. So do not despair, and give it a shot!

[lpuckett]

I also agree that you dont have to break up just because of college, BUT make sure he is not your only emotional support. DO NOT stay in your room all day at college because its easier than going out and making new friends. Make a habit of saying yes to any events you are invited to or see going on. You will enjoy it more and you want to feel at home at a place you are going to be for 4 year instead of wishing you were somewhere else.

[archangel]

Repeating what others have said before me... don't break up because you are in college!

Me and my SO are both going to post-secondary schools and when we met last year in November near the of the fall semester we also talked about issue. Ironically enough, when we started our winter semester in January we talked more than we did the previous year. The only major difference between your LDR and mine is the distance, you are a lot closer to your SO. Heh... yeah, me and my SO are 7985.05 (8000 rounded) miles apart; so it means we will have to plan ahead for this september knowing our chatting time will most likely be more limited.
One thing I would recommend doing if you aren't already is... trying writing emails to each other. Even if you are unable to talk, you can tell your SO everything on your mind in the email and they can reply back. My SO and I have been writing to each other since we met on facebook in November and now a days are writing to each other everyday.
Probably once we start we will be only able to chat on weekends. But yeah we are not worried about it... since we know our studies take priority over us chatting on skype.

AA