My boyfriend and I have been together long distance for almost a year and a half. We are both in high school and will be attending the same college next year--yay! The only problem is, whenever we talk about the future (2-4 years from now), even hypothetically, we fight. He goes to a collegiate high school and will be graduating from there with his AA this year, so he'll be graduating from college two years earlier than I will. On top of that, he's majoring in computer science (with eventual hopes for a film career but with more current hopes to make money in programming so he can produce his own films) and I'm majoring in theater and creative writing. He might not get a job offer in or around New York, LA, or Chicago (the areas in America with the most acting business), at least not at first. I'm okay with that; there are a lot of reputable repertory theaters in every area of the US where I could beef up my resume. However, what he doesn't seem to understand is that in order for my career as an actress, at least, and probably as a screenwriter, too, to grow, I will need to end up in New York City or Los Angeles after a while. This isn't me being a stubborn pig; it's me thinking about what's best for my career. There just isn't a lot of work for an actress in Portland, Oregon, for example, and after a while in a "minor" US city I'm going to want to try my hand at the big leagues. However, he sees my limited location options as an inability to compromise, and I see his being practically certain that he won't get a job in any city I would need to be in, without even saying "I'll try my hardest to get a job in those areas eventually", as having a really pessimistic attitude. Throughout his parents' marriage, his father worked and his mother stayed at home, enabling her to follow him wherever he needed to go; my boyfriend has said that he supports my career ambitions, loves that I'm passionate about theater, and wants me to reach my goals, but he has also admitted (unsurprisingly) that his parents' relationship has always been the model he imagined for himself on that front. (My parents, just FYI, divorced when I was six and have both worked since then.)
Let me just say that I realize that at least part of this conversation is completely ridiculous. I get that. None of this has happened yet, none of this is even close to happening yet, and we don't know the details. But you need to understand that we really are best friends. We make each other laugh, we cry with each other, we have fun together and talk more (and more deeply) than any other couple I know. We know just about EVERYTHING about each other, and other than when we're talking about the distant future, we're happy. Isn't that worth holding onto? Don't all couples have to have some kind of plan for the next five years? Somebody, please offer some advice. I'd really appreciate it.
Let me just say that I realize that at least part of this conversation is completely ridiculous. I get that. None of this has happened yet, none of this is even close to happening yet, and we don't know the details. But you need to understand that we really are best friends. We make each other laugh, we cry with each other, we have fun together and talk more (and more deeply) than any other couple I know. We know just about EVERYTHING about each other, and other than when we're talking about the distant future, we're happy. Isn't that worth holding onto? Don't all couples have to have some kind of plan for the next five years? Somebody, please offer some advice. I'd really appreciate it.
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