Help me

[Jovan]

I'm struggling with my feeling now. Part of me want to let go my relations and part of me still wanna keep it. Maybe I'm not ready for the drastic changes in my life. I couldn't imagine live without her. These few days been so difficult for me. i can feel that she want to leave me but she doesn't want to be blame by me. She doesn't want to feel guilty. So she put pressure on me. She purposely do something which make us argue. In my previous post, I mentioned that I am trying to compromise but failed. I tried to be patient as I can because I need to prepare myself for the brake up. But now, day by day i feel hurt and more hurt. She used to yelled me all over the time and my eyes won't stop from tearing every time she did that.
Today, things were okay as we tried to avoid from argue again. And suddenly at night it turn to nightmare. I have asked her something to help with my work proposal. I was waiting for her for 2 hours more and yet she haven't online. I keep waiting because I know she might be taking dinner or spend time talking with her mother. Till then i call her cellphone. She seems forgot that I was waiting for her. She ignored it. I told that to get sleep if she can't help me. She must be tiring. And informed her that I will get my friend to help me. Out of sudden she raised her voice and ask me to go with them. We cut off the call. I still expecting her to online as we used to sleep together almost every night. While waiting for her, i open her Yahoo email. We shared same password. I wanna check whether my email is in her inbox. I never thought in my mind that she do something behind me as i know the email is only for us. Last time she saw a name in my contact list. And we had a big fight. I don't know who's that. Some more It's a guy. I tried explained to her that I'm not purposely save it into my YM contact. It's a spam. I apologize to her then admit it's my fault. She's accept it.
I open her chat conversation. I saw she chat with someone beside me. I'm curious. I click it and read. The conversation is between her company supplier. I know from their conversation. I'm not mad with that but i feel being cheated. At least she let me know than there won't be misunderstanding. As soon i read it, I text her and no replied. So I call her cellphone. And know what her response, " I didn't chat with anyone beside you". Instead telling me the truth, she lied to me. She do nothing wrong and I know she is but the fact is she lied. I'm really pissed off with me. And yet she did not admit it that she add that person into her contact list. She suddenly raised her voice and said "Sorry and forgive me your highness, forgive me you are my God. Stop accused me" I didn't accuse her and I'm only asking but she felt being accused. She doesn't care with what she said to me. We both say something which is same. We both are tired and fade up with the argument. I asked her to make decision on our relations. She's point it to me. My eyes is swollen now.She pretend nothing happen.

Some people can't handle for the breakup and it's same goes to me.
What would you do? Gap?keep distance?

Any advice, comment and opinion are welcome....

[Zapookie]

You've been given the advice before that you need to find someone who will treat you better. You do realise that this cycle of abuse is never going to end unless you want it to?

I really hope you find the strength to leave her and forget about her. A relationship is supposed to add to your life, not subtract from it.

[MissButterfly]

I agree with Zapookie, and I hope you find the strength to make the right decision. A relationship like this only makes things in your life harder, not better! She doesn't treat you well and you deserve someone better. Wishing you all the best!

[lademoiselle]

You know what you need to do if you want your suffering to end; none of us can give you the strength you must find within yourself to change this situation. Good luck!

[Biddlybiddlybombop]

Every time you ask about your relationship with this girl, you've got the same response - leave her.
As Zapookie said, her behaviour is not going to change. You are not going to get what you want out of a relationship with this girl. Every time you talk about her, she's done something quite bad to hurt you. It's not like it's little pointless arguments, it's things that you feel are big issues. It's unhealthy.

As for dealing with breaking up... it's never easy. And as much as we tell you to do it, we can't make that decision for you. You have to decide that you want better for yourself.