Comforting and Supporting with text only

[Lobstar]

I was just looking for some advice on learning to be more comforting and supportive in text, I find myself drawing a blank when a situation comes up when I really need to be. I just feel like I don't know what to say and it's become a major issue with us. For now we only have text to communicate with. Thanks for the help.

[dynomitegurl]

Hi, first off welcome to LFAD. Hope the site provides with some helpful information and advice!

It's hard to say what should be the right thing to say because it really all depends on the situation and I know sometimes it can hard to find the right words to say during these times. The only advice I have is to be understanding and tell the person that everything will work out. I guess try to be as understanding and sympathetic as much as you can through words. I have had my boyfriend in a need of someone to talk to plenty of times,however that has usually been over the phone,but I'd say the same should go for text as well. Hope this helps somewhat, it's hard to give advice on a broad aspect. Hopefully this is kind of helpful!

[Lobstar]

Thanks for the quick reply, this has only been an issue when we've had arguments. But it's just so difficult to offer comforting words without feeling patronizing or something when she's down or in a bad mood. It's pretty much the only hurdle we've had, but it's been a major one, so I'm eager to improve on that aspect.

[dynomitegurl]

I can definitely see the problem there, especially in arguments. It's hard for things to translate well over text but even worse when you're in an argument,which can only make that worse. All I can offer up is try to make it sound as you want it ( perhaps saying actually...this isn't meant to sound <fill in the blank>)

I give you props for seeing something that is causing issues and attempting to find ways to fix it! Good luck

[Zephii]

*actions* go a long way. Just put little stars around what you'd usually do. If you look at the floor when you feel bad write *is ashamed and looks at his feet*
*reaches out to hold your hand* is good for bridging distance between two people, *meets your eyes* is good for showing vulnerablility.
Just write in the physical things that would usually be relied on for comfort.
Also telling her that you're going to stay right there with her instead of leaveing the computer is good, telling her she has your undivided attention works, and so does an obvious willingness to work through problems rather than patch them up

[Lobstar]

Some good ideas, thanks for the input, hopefully these will help out in the future when something comes up, hopefully it doesn't though.