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    Moving and what not..

    Seriously could not in my life come up with a title for this thing. I don't even know if it fits here at all.
    But since you're so helpful i thought it wouldn't matter that much.

    So as i've said there's not much time until i pack up my things and move to the US. Actually today it's exactly 10 weeks left.
    And it was so comfortable cuz i had all weeks planned out. With work the whole of July and after that get on my first transatlantic flight to sunny California.
    But. I still live at home. Since i'm unemployed. My parents ofc had to get divorced at my age ten, and my mom married a new fellow and i had to go with her.
    So i've lived with my mom and my stepfather and my four siblings for around 10 years now. My stepfather is, to be nice, stubborn and not very understanding. I've been taught to help out very much in the home, for the modest reward of sitting at my own comp, paid with my money, for about 2 hours everyday. Sure i have nothing against helping out at home, it's so natural to me by now. But soon a year ago i met my SO on this chatroom thing. I kept her secret for, well until recently. And the last 9 months i've been forced to get up at 6 am to turn on internet to talk some with her before she goes to bed, and then be on the lookout all day to see if he gets home and then talk to her again at 4 pm for half an hour.
    That's what my past 9 months have looked like. It's taken a heavy toll on me psychologically and emotionally, as everyday has been a battle for me to be able to talk some to her.

    So anyway, that was some background.
    Just recently i underwent a 2 week long depression. I came out of that funk during last saturday and since then i've actually been happy, í can't remember the last time i was that happy. And then like my stepfather had staged this whole thing he decided to tighten the hold on me even further. So he said that he will monitor and if necessary remove internet completely for me if i use it any other time then that 2 hour time slot during the evening. Now i've tolerated and accepted all other limitations he's done before, since i really had no other choice. But i find this inacceptable, I can't really live with that. Enough is enough. I won't just lay down and take that.

    So i've been looking around for other options. And i always have my very supportive and understanding dad i can move to. But that comes with a dilemma of it's own.
    If i move to my dad i have more freedome, much more freedom, and ofc can spend time with him before i move to CA.
    Plus i wouldn't have to worry a bit about when next time is that i will talk to my SO.
    But the backside is that he lives pretty far away, and i would have to turn down the summerjob i gotten myself in July.
    So today i've been calculating if i would have decent amounts of money to well get started in CA.
    And well i'm positive that i will have atleast 2000$ until August even if i move to my dad, i'm coming from the part of Sweden with the same reputation as Scotland have. Very cheap and greedy people haha.

    So yeah i don't know if you could even read it all above. But i would like to have your input on what i should do.
    Move to my dad? Or once again try to fix the situation with my stepfather?

    #2
    10 weeks.. hmm.. In the big scheme of things, 10 weeks isn't really long.. but when you're living it? Yeah, 10 weeks could really really suck.
    It's hard to guess how much trouble moving would cause, and I'm not sure how old you are either, and how much effect that has, but I assume if you moved as soon as possible and found a job quickly, you could still save up quite a bit before heading to CA.
    I'd say as long as it doesn't interfere with your long term plans, do whatever makes you happiest. I'm sure your dad would enjoy the time with you before you go away.
    Happily married to the little Canadian boy I never thought I'd meet in person

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      #3
      I would say do whatever gives you the most money. CA is a very expensive place to live. You could easily blow through $2000 in a month or two even if you are careful. It may be very hard to stay with your mom if that is what will give you the most money but in the large scheme of things 10 weeks is not that much time...

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        #4
        I know that I couldn't handle only having a 2 hour range to speak to my SO, so I would say leave and go stay with your dad for a little while before you move so far away!

        Comment


          #5
          Um...I'm not sure what part of California you're moving to. I'm also moving there, Los Angeles. Well, regardless of where, I don't think $2,000 is even close to enough. I'm leaving with right around $10,000 and I'm only moving from one state over. Before any of you ask, no that is not how much I got in the settlement from my crash. I won't disclose that amount until I blow it all on candy and miscellaneous geek merchandise.

          Anyway, I don't mean to put you down, but regardless of where you stay I doubt you'll have enough. Unless your significant other is also helping out or something. I have no idea of your circumstances XP. Anyway, In you case I'd likely leave. My step-dad is just that. He's not my father, and has no right to tell me what to do. Then again, he's never been much of a father figure to me in my case. My relationship with my step-dad is likely very different from the relationship you have with yours. That's just what I would do, I have no idea what you should do since my situation isn't even close to yours.

          Comment


            #6
            Thanks for your inputs. I'm sure that 2000$ is not very much. But that really depends on the circumstances.
            Besides even if i took the job and did everything i wouldn't get more then max 2500$.
            That is because with the job it comes added expenses too, especially transportation. And with the job i wouldn't be able to sell off my computer or tv or xbox as i need those to get my 2 hr time slot with my SO.
            So i think i'll do for once in my life what is easiest for me. I will probably skip the job and take the easy road.

            My plan got it's logic. And i'm 19 years old atm. I will move to US on a student visa and got financial backing by the Swedish National Board of Student Aid, who btw got really low interest too.

            Comment


              #7
              Money is great, but you can get by without it. When I landed here in Mapleland I had $300 in my bank and moths in my wallet. *Shrugs* If you've got a student loan support thinget, you'll be fine, I guess. Are you living on campus or with your SO?
              Good luck with the move! Yay for opting for happiness.
              Happily married to the little Canadian boy I never thought I'd meet in person

              Comment


                #8
                I think, for your emotional health, living with your dad is best. Especially since you won't get very much for the job anyway. Maybe once you move with your dad you could pick up a small local job (mowing lawns lol)? Moving is expensive, but with the loan you should be fine for a while until you can get a job in CA. Just try to get one as quick as possible once you move and you should be ok.

                Good luck!

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by Zephii View Post
                  Money is great, but you can get by without it. When I landed here in Mapleland I had $300 in my bank and moths in my wallet. *Shrugs* If you've got a student loan support thinget, you'll be fine, I guess. Are you living on campus or with your SO?
                  Good luck with the move! Yay for opting for happiness.
                  That will be decided later. I asked my college contact person and he said i should look for apartments and such maximum a month before i would move.
                  There could be that i'll live with my SO. But if not then i'll find an apartment or someone who needs a roommate.

                  Originally posted by Desya View Post
                  I think, for your emotional health, living with your dad is best. Especially since you won't get very much for the job anyway. Maybe once you move with your dad you could pick up a small local job (mowing lawns lol)? Moving is expensive, but with the loan you should be fine for a while until you can get a job in CA. Just try to get one as quick as possible once you move and you should be ok.

                  Good luck!
                  Well yes moving is expensive. But i really don't have all that much to move.
                  And i'll try to get as much job as my visa allows me to, which i doubt is much.
                  But i'll get by. I'm fully prepared to take whatever hit i need, or starvation for that sake hehe.

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