Advice? Thoughts? Anything!

[RachelZombiePrincess]

So...
My boyfriend is moving to Dubai, United Arab Emirates for a year.
We haven't been dating for a long time (2 months) but it is obvious the strong connection and feelings that we have.
I've had discussions with him about the whole situation because we know both of us want the same thing - a real relationship.
I am going to do this...I want to do this...Because I don't want to be with anyone else.
I'm just scared...nervous...want to cry...I don't know, just a whole lot of different emotions.
BUT I want to do this. I just don't want to regret it...I don't want to stay faithful, honest, committed, etc. if i'm just going to get dumped. He says he isn't going to break up with me, and i believe him, I'm just scared...
I've never been in a legit LDR before...
I really hope this works. I am putting all my heart into this man...

I'm 19 and he's 23 (24 in July). I am a college student in Manhattan and he is a manager for a gaming company that builds online games. The company is closing their New York office and they have already fired basically everyone. My SO, along with his boss, are moving to Dubai to start a new office there and hire new employees. At first, we weren't concerned because he was only suppose to go there for 1-2 weeks to interview and hire people for job positions. However, he was then informed that they want him to stay there so that he can manager that office. He told me after 1 year he is quitting because he has another job lined up back here. I would never tell him not to go...because I know he would be out of a job for a year. So, I am okay with this. I wish it wasn't the case, but I love him and I want to show him that this will not change that way I feel about him whatsoever.

The stupid emotional girl brain of mine sometimes brings up those annoying thoughts like "what if he finds another girl there?" "what if he cheats?" ...etc. (I don't think he would cheat really, I was just using that as an example).

But it is not like i have the best self esteem. All my past relationships were HORRIBLE (i was cheated on, emotionally and physically abused, etc.). And i finally found something pure and amazing in this man. That is why i am willing to do this. For him. For my happiness.

I just keep freaking myself out for no reason. I don't know...

[Jezah]

We all have these thoughts, and we all let them freak us out sometimes. However, you HAVE to look at it like this. If the feelings are real, if they are strong...he will stay loyal. If one year of seeing each other not as often is enough to tear you apart, then the bond is not strong enough. Lots of us on here have been in our LDR's for years, not me as my ticker will tell you, but I know that it can and does work. Its been 10 months with HBB (my love) and if it wasn't for his dad trying everything in his power to rip us apart, we would still be as blissfully in love as we were at 1 month. Skype is amazing, online games are amazing...find something that fits you as a couple to do each time you talk online and time will go by faster then you know!

Also, if visiting HIM is an option...HELLO DUBAI! Such a gorgeous city I hope so someday see. Hate the distance because it takes you from his arms, but love it because it makes you appreciate it so much more when you are. You started close distance, so you have that foundation, build on it and let this seperation be an adventure you can one day tell your kids about...enjoy life.

[kiara_silver]

I agree with Jezah about the distance making you appreciate what you have. I am grateful for the distance that it really makes and lets me appreciate my SO, and to not take anything for granted. The distance is hard, I won't lie and sugar coat it, but if the love is real it is so worth it. Me and my SO have been long distance for almost 3 years. (Actually i think if counting when we started talking, the time before becoming official then it is 3 years) We have only been together 2 months in the past 2 and a half years. But I can tell you without a doubt it's worth it. There are those fears, and I used to get negativity. but to keep this relationship you have to have trust and communication. And one year will pass by, some days slower then others but have that countdown and before you know it you two will be back together again

[RachelZombiePrincess]

thanks <3
i know i shouldn't be freaking out so much
i guess i was just more worried because we haven't been together for very long
and i guess i feel if we were together longer before he left id feel less nervous or scared...
but ill deal. i mean, he said he wants to stay with me...so i should be happy :]

[eveningsky]

My SO and I started close distance too. I studied abroad in his country for about 4 months. We were officially together for about 3 months before we became long distance. I knew it was a strong connection that I shouldn't let go of. Luckily, I had had a previous LDR before so I thought to myself, 'I got this!' I'm so glad we're still together. After 2 years, it is worth it. He's the best boyfriend I've had and I couldn't ask for anyone more supportive!
You know, if it's just for a year that's really awesome. Like Jezah said, maybe you could visit him. That would be so cool. Traveling is super fun! I wish you both the best!

[LoveL]

My dad moved to Jeddah Saudi Arabia when I was 17 and right after my parent's divorce, when I needed him the most. That's a long F%&*#*ing ways off, but it doesn't mean that communication stops. The time difference is 7-8 hours, depending on day light savings time and we talk just about every day.
When I wake up, he gets off work. And when I go to bed, he's going to work. It's different, but communication is totally possible.

As far as being concerned about him meeting someone else and cheating on you, you have to remember that this is the Middle East. It's not like he's moving to Vegas. The UAE is a lot more liberal and open to Western culture than KSA is. But they're still pretty conservative. For him to find someone, he would have to go looking for it. That being said, the possibility does exist that he could get entangled with some of the Western women that are there. But that would be on him, since he would have to be unfaithful for that to happen. If you trust him, you trust him. If you don't, you don't.

If he says he is committed, then you have to decide if you are. If he's just giving you lip service, then you'll know it. It will take a lot of commitment on his part because he'll have to make contacting you when he has free time a priority.

Skype calls are relatively cheap with their international rate and other internet phone services, like Viber, can make calls free. Internet over there is really sketchy at times, but their cell service is bar none. They have nothing less than 4g for all cell phones. It blows the US out of the water.

It will be trying. But it's only a year. You guys need to decide right now if your relationship is something that you want to continue and put the effort in to to keep going.

Good luck.

[dukes2011]

Embarking on the journey of a LDR is definitely emotional and leaves you not knowing what to feel sometimes. I started dating my SO in college and we were together for 3.5 months when I left to study in Spain for 4 months. Also, when I got back it was summer vacation so we were apart the majority of the summer too. I was scared because even though I trusted him, I had crazy thoughts about us breaking up too. We even had a hard time when we graduated in May 2011 after being together for over 2 years. We had a lot of fears of going LD for an undetermined amount of time, but we took the leap of faith and it's the best decision we've ever made.

Communication is key! As long as you go into it knowing both of you will do everything you can to keep open communication, everything will fall into place. It might not always be talking every day, but maybe agree to email if you're too busy to talk for a long period of time. Dan and I are in the same time zone but we're both crazy busy, so we email all the time and get back to each other on our own time. You'll find a system that works for you. Good luck and keep us posted!