Beginners Advice?

[Forca]

I am brand spanking new to the LDR. My girlfriend and I just decided to make our relationship a week ago. We lived in the same city for 2 months but then had to both go our separate ways and now have over 3000 miles between us! I told her I wanted her to myself and wanted a relationship and she agreed. We are both in late 20's and I think we both are seeing this as serious and potentially could lead to a life together. This is my first real relationship too, I have never felt so strongly and real for someone in my entire life. So the long distance thing is incredibly hard and I miss her every single second of the day. We are planning to move near each other in a year but she might move to me towards the end of the summer, it depends on her job though. Anyway I am just asking for any advice you all can give to help me get through this. I know I need to make myself super busy so I have less time to think about missing her but it's not easy. We talk every day for an hour or two on skype which helps. I have found that I am more emotionally out there than she is and I am trying to quell that since I don't want to scare her away. Culturally I am just very much like that and when she isn't it bothers me but I realize it's just who she is and it doesn't mean she doesn't care for me. Sorry this is a lot but I have been wanting to get this off my chest and I'm so happy I found a community of people that understand what I am going through

[kittyo9]

Hey, sounds like you're off to a great start! Just make sure you stay open and honest with her, and you guys work through any problems that might bump up in the process. It happens to all of us and it's much better to get them tackled and out of the way when they first appear. Otherwise it sounds like you guys will do just fine!

[dukes2011]

Welcome to LFAD! I agree that it is great to be around so many people who understand what you're going through. It seems like you have a good handle on how to approach things, so I'm sure you'll be just fine. It's exciting that you're already finding out ways to close the distance, too.

[dglynn77]

Welcome! Best of luck on your LDR!

[Karringtyn]

Welcome to LFAD! Yes...keeping yourself busy and leading YOUR life is the best way. I dealt with the distance by scheduling a date night with him each week....(LOTS of ideas on this site)...I posted lots on here...there is ALWAYS someone on here that truly does understand.

In the end it IS worth it! I am living proof!

[Biscous]

Hey glad you're on this journey! Most people here will say LDRs don't work but I've personally known several people who have been in a LDR situation in their relationship in either one point or another. Most people have good reason to believe they don't work. Don't listen to the naysayers, listen to your heart and your partner. My advice.

1) Communicate. Communicate. Communicate.
2) Make visits to see one another. Distance wears on people and nothing emphasizes "I love you" to your significant other than the physical touch of one another.
3) Both of you need to put in effort because one person will feel resentment towards another if the other party isn't doing it.
4) Set the terms of the relationship. What's ok? what's not okay? I think you all might have done this.
5) Ultimately have an end date in mind. This will alleviate the feeling of the LDR being indefinite.

Many fail, some do work out. Honestly in a society where people are pulled from their homes due to work and other life commitments LDRs aren't entirely uncommon nowadays. My situation: I moved for a career opportunity and had to leave my girlfriend and family. We've been doing this in August. I believe the distance will be closed in late May when she moves in with me and pursues her graduate degree. It's been a tough road though, but we have both made the effort to see each other, communicate on a daily basis, etc. We keep trinkets of ours at each other's places . I wish the best for you in the future!

[kat4301]

Skype or Facetime. Both have made a huge difference in my own LDR. Also having things to look foward to have always helped me in the worst times. Also welcome to LFAD, being on here has also helped me.