Lets face it, all of us here would more than gladly turn our LDRs into CDRs so romanticising it as something that's "more quality" makes no sense. Why are people dismissing LDRs? As others pointed out already - ignorance, fear, prejudice. But personally, one reason I've heard most often is that they just can't be bothered with it if they can't get enough time in person. I totally understand that way of thinking, and I agree with it to a point. Time spent in person is crucial for the relationship to develop, the more you get it the more it evolves. Before anyone jumps at me, this is not me dismissing anyone else's relationship.
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years, but we've spent 63 days in person. Yes we've developed trust and understanding, and have gone through a lot together, just like any other relationship. But there is this whole dimension of our relationship that's barely explored, something which an average CD couple have well covered after almost 2 years. If I can compare a relationship with walking down the road together, then a LDR to me feels like we're both hobbling along with twisted ankles. We're going much slower than we should, we're in pain most of the time, but at least we have each other for support. However, until that ankle is healed, I will not be able to fully enjoy this walk together. So I do feel we're impaired compared to a CDR (even if I feel it's worth it), and I totally understand why this 'hobbling' is a dealbreaker for many, especially self-afflicted like this.
It's annoying when people dismiss your relationship because they wouldn't bother in given circumstances. I think that's because people tend to generalise, broadcast their opinions and give unsolicited advice, to feel important. But I have to admit, they do have a point in one thing: in certain aspects I don't know my boyfriend as well as I would if we were CDR for almost 2 years.
Edit: Also just wanted to add -- my boyfriend lives 1 time zone away and we see each other every 2 months on average. If he lived say 12 time zones away and we were only be able to see each other once a year or less, I honestly doubt I would be able to manage such a relationship. No doubt I'd feel sad to have such bad luck with the person who attracted me so much, but I just don't believe having such limited options for real-time communication and time spent in person would be enough in my case to build a serious, fulfilling relationship on. But other people on this site still handle such a situation. Everyone has a line, it's just drawn at different points.
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years, but we've spent 63 days in person. Yes we've developed trust and understanding, and have gone through a lot together, just like any other relationship. But there is this whole dimension of our relationship that's barely explored, something which an average CD couple have well covered after almost 2 years. If I can compare a relationship with walking down the road together, then a LDR to me feels like we're both hobbling along with twisted ankles. We're going much slower than we should, we're in pain most of the time, but at least we have each other for support. However, until that ankle is healed, I will not be able to fully enjoy this walk together. So I do feel we're impaired compared to a CDR (even if I feel it's worth it), and I totally understand why this 'hobbling' is a dealbreaker for many, especially self-afflicted like this.
It's annoying when people dismiss your relationship because they wouldn't bother in given circumstances. I think that's because people tend to generalise, broadcast their opinions and give unsolicited advice, to feel important. But I have to admit, they do have a point in one thing: in certain aspects I don't know my boyfriend as well as I would if we were CDR for almost 2 years.
Edit: Also just wanted to add -- my boyfriend lives 1 time zone away and we see each other every 2 months on average. If he lived say 12 time zones away and we were only be able to see each other once a year or less, I honestly doubt I would be able to manage such a relationship. No doubt I'd feel sad to have such bad luck with the person who attracted me so much, but I just don't believe having such limited options for real-time communication and time spent in person would be enough in my case to build a serious, fulfilling relationship on. But other people on this site still handle such a situation. Everyone has a line, it's just drawn at different points.
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