She's moving even further
Hi,
My name is Frederic. I met my girlfriend 7 and a half months ago on a language trip in Spain. 3 days after I met her we were together, although of course we both thought it was just a holiday flirt. But when I left Spain after one week I realized i wanted it to be more than just that. So I asked her if she wanted to be my girlfriend. I really had to persuade her that it could work cause she really didn't believe me. The problem is that she is living in Poland while I'm living in France, so we are set-apart by more than 1000 km.
Despite this distance and the fact that it was actually my first real relationship, we are still together now and managed to survive the distance by meeting every two months during our school breaks (we are both 17). We had a great time and I decided that after I graduate I should take a gap year to spend some time at her place. I'm graduating this year but she lived two years in the US and therefore she still has 2 more years in school. So I looked around for some options how to come to her place. In the end I found the European Voluntary Service (EVS), which fits in my interests as I wanted to do a voluntary year anyways before I met her. So I gave up on the dream to go for a year to Africa before my studies and applied for an EVS which would send me to her place. I then had a few problems because the projects that really interested me were taken and I had to take one that doesn't really fit me but that is really close to her home.
Of course this search cost me a lot of effort and decisions (and also money) but I was just so happy about spending a whole year with her.
But now, 5 months before I would move to her, she told me that she is moving to the US for at least half a year because her mom got a grant there. She had talked about this before but she promised me she would stay and her parents told me they would make it possible. But now she says she has to spend at least a year with them and says I'm an egoist because I want her to stay.
It really hurts me because I made a lot of difficult decisions to come to her place and now she tells me that she's going. Also she says it's not her decision but when I asked her why she couldn’t stay she said she doesn't feel ready to live without her parents and she really misses how close she was to them when they lived in the US back then.
Besides she keeps telling me now I'm an asshole because I don't understand that and because I doubted that our relationship will work like that
. The problem is that if she leaves we'll be parted for another 6 months and with the time change and the fact that I’ll probably give up on the EVS and start my studies we won't have much time left to talk. Also we couldn’t meet every 2 months like we used to but we would really have to wait for 6 months to actually see each other.
I really don't know what to do, to me it just feels as she started the countdown to the end of our relationship.
Did everybody ever have a situation like this? What would be your advices?
Please help...
Frederic
My name is Frederic. I met my girlfriend 7 and a half months ago on a language trip in Spain. 3 days after I met her we were together, although of course we both thought it was just a holiday flirt. But when I left Spain after one week I realized i wanted it to be more than just that. So I asked her if she wanted to be my girlfriend. I really had to persuade her that it could work cause she really didn't believe me. The problem is that she is living in Poland while I'm living in France, so we are set-apart by more than 1000 km.
Despite this distance and the fact that it was actually my first real relationship, we are still together now and managed to survive the distance by meeting every two months during our school breaks (we are both 17). We had a great time and I decided that after I graduate I should take a gap year to spend some time at her place. I'm graduating this year but she lived two years in the US and therefore she still has 2 more years in school. So I looked around for some options how to come to her place. In the end I found the European Voluntary Service (EVS), which fits in my interests as I wanted to do a voluntary year anyways before I met her. So I gave up on the dream to go for a year to Africa before my studies and applied for an EVS which would send me to her place. I then had a few problems because the projects that really interested me were taken and I had to take one that doesn't really fit me but that is really close to her home.
Of course this search cost me a lot of effort and decisions (and also money) but I was just so happy about spending a whole year with her.
But now, 5 months before I would move to her, she told me that she is moving to the US for at least half a year because her mom got a grant there. She had talked about this before but she promised me she would stay and her parents told me they would make it possible. But now she says she has to spend at least a year with them and says I'm an egoist because I want her to stay.
It really hurts me because I made a lot of difficult decisions to come to her place and now she tells me that she's going. Also she says it's not her decision but when I asked her why she couldn’t stay she said she doesn't feel ready to live without her parents and she really misses how close she was to them when they lived in the US back then.
Besides she keeps telling me now I'm an asshole because I don't understand that and because I doubted that our relationship will work like that
. The problem is that if she leaves we'll be parted for another 6 months and with the time change and the fact that I’ll probably give up on the EVS and start my studies we won't have much time left to talk. Also we couldn’t meet every 2 months like we used to but we would really have to wait for 6 months to actually see each other.I really don't know what to do, to me it just feels as she started the countdown to the end of our relationship.
Did everybody ever have a situation like this? What would be your advices?
Please help...
Frederic
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