Big mistake.

[SnowDust]

So he left again today. He was here for a whole week and its the first time we seen each other since Christmas. Its so bloody frustrating. Not only that but he brought our puppy with him this trip. My house is going to seem so quiet now....

Its so frustrating because he was only supposed to go for 6 months and last Friday was the one year anniversary of him being gone.

He took an awesome job so he could get experience and get a better job here at home. We agreed that it would be good for us, and the distance would be for only a few months.

That plan backfired, because of the economy there are no high paying jobs here, and now to top it all off, because he has been gone so long he can't even come home for what he used to make because he lost so much money taking this job risk. Between his apartment there, our mortgage here, and the cost of moving across the country to begin with, its impossible for him to take a huge salary cut. Paying for two homes was ok for short term, but now that its turned into long term its making it impossible for him to move home. He moved for nothing.

I love him so much, and have tried my hardest to transfer with my company to where is he living, but unfortunatly I am not bilingual so I can't keep a managment position like I have here. I would just quit and go, but what about our responsibilities? Car payments, mortgage, student loadns?? Plus we have the cost of seeing each other. Not to mention, he was very sick two years ago, and it might be back, I can't just move, because at least if he is sick and comes home for treatment I can take a leave from work and still get paid. I start a new job I wont have insurance to do that.

I just wish he had never left. He wishes he had never left. How sad that we make decisions because we think they will improve our lives and it doesnt work out. How did we make such a big mistake?

[Tanja]

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. As lame as this might sound right now I guarantee you're not the only 2 ppl in that kind of situation. 1-3 years ago no-one saw this coming, the recession has hit everyone and every country and right now all you can do is to survive and hang on to the jobs you've got until times get better and you can get back to normal.

I know it must seem like a big mistake but the only reason it does is because of circumstances, which neither of you have any control over. I know it's hard but maybe you could try to look at it from a different point of view: think of the positive affect this distance has on your relationship. They don't say the distance makes the heart grow fonder for nothing, it really is true. When you spend some time apart you'll learn to approciate all the great qualities you both admire in each other, you've learned to approciate every minute you spend together and it's only made your feelings for each other stronger.

Another thing you have to keep thinking about is THIS WILL NOT LAST FOREVER. This is only temporary and you can't help at how things are right now, the best you can do is make the most out of it, when you're together don't hold back, love each other 110%, when you're apart focus your energy to your work, taking care of yourself, seeing your friends and family etc.

Every cloud has a silver lining but it might take some thunder and lightning before you can see it.

[Claire-Louise]

Hang in there !!! My SO is moving away for work to better our financial situation and help pay off our debts.... Although we are still living together now (he leaves in 2 days) I have spent many nights worrying about exactly what you have described .... This recession won't last for ever maybe try and focus on paying off your smallest loan/ debt the achievement will help with the money situation and it will help you feel like your getting some where and that this isn't a waste of time or a bad idea.... I know money is the biggest killer of relationships LD or not you just have to be strong and keep thinking of/ planning for the future