Hey there, everyone. I'm new to this website, but I'm certainly no newbie at LDRs! I'm looking for a little advice.
Over the course of the last two years, I have been in Two distinct LDRs. The first of them was with a gal named Ellen. She lives in Wyoming, and I'm from Iceland, currently living in Norway, LIVED in Denmark at the time. That relationship ended after a few months, which may make it sound less meaningful to some of you, but it was honestly one of the most painful experiences of my life, and even though it has been over a year, it still effects me from time to time.
The second relationship was with this girl named Karen from Wisconsin, and we started out a couple of months after Ellen and I broke up. We've been together for over a year now, but this Christmas my family moved to Norway, and I don't know what triggered it, but right after that, Karen said we needed to go on a break. (Which incidentally is how Ellen started the conversation when she broke up with me.) Of course, I can't go into why she feels this way, but I can say that Over the last year our relationship has gone a little sour.
The difference between the two relationships is in the beginning. You see, Ellen and I were internet friends, best friends even for months before we began the relationship. Karen and I started out with the intention of trying for a long distance relationship. Over the last year, Karen began to seem less and less interested in actually talking to me and more interested in watching her show or whatever she happens to be doing on the computer at the time. Sometimes when I confront her about it, she gets straight-up-mean to me. This Break that she has initiated was basically an ultimatum. I had planned on going to the US this summer, but due to a very limited budget, I may have to postpone,, and I fear that Karen just doesn't have the patience to persevere. I think the troubles between us are largely due to us having jumped right into this relationship and not really have gotten to know each other WELL enough first or given ourselves time to develop a meaningful foundation for a relationship.
Now comes the interesting bit: Three years ago, even before I ever knew Ellen OR Karen existed, I met (On the internet, of course) A girl by the name of Danielle. She and I became extremely good friends, and she was there for me when I was going through a very hard time right after Ellen broke up with me. It never occurred to me that Danielle and I might make a good couple until it was far too late to deny that I had any feelings for her. I know it may sound cliché, but our friendship (and mutual attraction) has grown into something more. The break with Karen has allowed me to confess my feelings for Danielle, and her for me (they were mutual as well), and because of the years we spent as the best of friends, I really have faith that Danielle and I have a good chance of making it through the future together, but I don't want to make the same mistakes I made with Karen. I want this new beginning to at the very least mean something, and whether that means ending a doomed relationship before it gets out of hand or starting a new one that could last a long, long time wont matter in the long run. Just that it mean something positive.
I know some of you must think I'm a total.. What's the word I'm looking for? The male equivalent of 'A whore', and some of you must think I probably don't even know what the word 'Love' Means, and I'm just chasing after every googly-eyed floozy that bats her eyelashes at me, but I assure you, I take my relationships very seriously and I would appreciate any advice anyone has for me about what to do about my situation: How to tell Karen about Danielle? How to tell my parents that my LD-Girlfriend of a year and a half may be about to be replaced, and still have them take my feelings seriously? Has anyone ever been in a remotely similar situation, and how did YOU deal with it? Every little bit helps.
I'm really sorry for the wall of text, and I am doubly sorry If I bored you, but I hope you can add your two cents. Every last bit of advice is appreciated.
- Thor
Over the course of the last two years, I have been in Two distinct LDRs. The first of them was with a gal named Ellen. She lives in Wyoming, and I'm from Iceland, currently living in Norway, LIVED in Denmark at the time. That relationship ended after a few months, which may make it sound less meaningful to some of you, but it was honestly one of the most painful experiences of my life, and even though it has been over a year, it still effects me from time to time.
The second relationship was with this girl named Karen from Wisconsin, and we started out a couple of months after Ellen and I broke up. We've been together for over a year now, but this Christmas my family moved to Norway, and I don't know what triggered it, but right after that, Karen said we needed to go on a break. (Which incidentally is how Ellen started the conversation when she broke up with me.) Of course, I can't go into why she feels this way, but I can say that Over the last year our relationship has gone a little sour.
The difference between the two relationships is in the beginning. You see, Ellen and I were internet friends, best friends even for months before we began the relationship. Karen and I started out with the intention of trying for a long distance relationship. Over the last year, Karen began to seem less and less interested in actually talking to me and more interested in watching her show or whatever she happens to be doing on the computer at the time. Sometimes when I confront her about it, she gets straight-up-mean to me. This Break that she has initiated was basically an ultimatum. I had planned on going to the US this summer, but due to a very limited budget, I may have to postpone,, and I fear that Karen just doesn't have the patience to persevere. I think the troubles between us are largely due to us having jumped right into this relationship and not really have gotten to know each other WELL enough first or given ourselves time to develop a meaningful foundation for a relationship.
Now comes the interesting bit: Three years ago, even before I ever knew Ellen OR Karen existed, I met (On the internet, of course) A girl by the name of Danielle. She and I became extremely good friends, and she was there for me when I was going through a very hard time right after Ellen broke up with me. It never occurred to me that Danielle and I might make a good couple until it was far too late to deny that I had any feelings for her. I know it may sound cliché, but our friendship (and mutual attraction) has grown into something more. The break with Karen has allowed me to confess my feelings for Danielle, and her for me (they were mutual as well), and because of the years we spent as the best of friends, I really have faith that Danielle and I have a good chance of making it through the future together, but I don't want to make the same mistakes I made with Karen. I want this new beginning to at the very least mean something, and whether that means ending a doomed relationship before it gets out of hand or starting a new one that could last a long, long time wont matter in the long run. Just that it mean something positive.
I know some of you must think I'm a total.. What's the word I'm looking for? The male equivalent of 'A whore', and some of you must think I probably don't even know what the word 'Love' Means, and I'm just chasing after every googly-eyed floozy that bats her eyelashes at me, but I assure you, I take my relationships very seriously and I would appreciate any advice anyone has for me about what to do about my situation: How to tell Karen about Danielle? How to tell my parents that my LD-Girlfriend of a year and a half may be about to be replaced, and still have them take my feelings seriously? Has anyone ever been in a remotely similar situation, and how did YOU deal with it? Every little bit helps.
I'm really sorry for the wall of text, and I am doubly sorry If I bored you, but I hope you can add your two cents. Every last bit of advice is appreciated.
- Thor
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