Rant!

[usmcgirl]

This is driving me insane, and while I've gotten a few friend's advice/opinions on this, I also wanted to see what other people say.

For the past.. about 3-5 days, Anthony has started a conversation, we talk for a total of about 15-20 minutes, saying maybe 20 words to each other, and then he disappears for the rest of the night. It is driving me insane, and slightly pissing me off. If he didn't want to talk, he could just say so. I'm not so much of a bitch that I would be mad over that. When we are talking, nothing has changed; we're still loving, joking, etc. etc. etc. I just, I don't know it's annoying me! Friends have said that I need to bring it up to him and I'm going to, I just don't know how. Any suggestions? And feel free to tell me I'm overreacting if I am.

[lyonsgirl]

You do need to tell him. He is a boy-and unfortunately-boys don't change. Once in a while my SO does that to me too. When I notice him doing it I won't say anything at first, because maybe he's distracted or is just tired. If it keeps happening (more than a couple days) I have said to him, "Do you want to talk to me on the phone or not? Because it sure doesn't feel like you want to." He'll usually apologize and say why he wasn't responding. (One of many reasons I love Skype, I can actually see his face to see if he's looking at something else (which he often is).)

So, no. you're not overreacting, but you do need to talk to him about it.

[Zapookie]

If my SO goes quiet for a while I simply ask him, "what are you doing?". If I'm quiet, he'll ask the same.

I know that he's probably doing other things, and he has every right to. I don't expect him to devote every second of his free time to me, and he doesn't expect it either.

I think you just need to ask your SO... "what are you doing?" or "what's making you so quiet lately?". Seriously, communication is so important and you won't ever find out what's wrong if you don't ask.

[usmcgirl]

If my SO goes quiet for a while I simply ask him, "what are you doing?". If I'm quiet, he'll ask the same.

I know that he's probably doing other things, and he has every right to. I don't expect him to devote every second of his free time to me, and he doesn't expect it either.

I think you just need to ask your SO... "what are you doing?" or "what's making you so quiet lately?". Seriously, communication is so important and you won't ever find out what's wrong if you don't ask.

Damn, I didn't mean to make it sound like that's what I expected from him. :/ I don't expect him to devote every second of his free time to me, but when we barely talk as it is, talking is important, and not just a few words either. But thank you, I'll ask him.

[Jezah]

I didn't think it sounded like you expected him to devote every breathing moment talking to you. You sound like you are, very reasonably I must say, irritated by your SO's lack of communication. I would be too.

In a LDR all we have is skype calls, phone calls and txts....sometimes care packages if we are lucky. We don't get the day to day come home kiss and a hug "how was your day hunny" 's of a normal CD relationship. People comment that me and HBB spend too much time talking (usually at least 3 hours a day) and I get why people can think that...but when you look at the amount and quality of time a CD couple of the same commitment level as me and HBB...its usually a LOT more. Its just not the same as a CD relationship, so I feel you have every right to ask him why he hasn't been talking to you as much, and also comment on the quality of the talks if (and honestly 50 words in 20 mins seems like it) they aren't what you want. All anyone can ever do in a relationship of any type is ask, be honest and communicate your needs.

[schwee44]

I can't add much more to what's already been said, but maybe ask him what's wrong? Then if he asks why you asked, tell him you noticed he's been quiet/distant lately.

Also, I don't know what y'all talk about, but when that happens with me and my SO, I have to remind myself it takes two to tango, so I start rambling off stuff (anything) and it'll get the ball rolling eventually. Sometimes it's harder than others

[Zapookie]

Damn, I didn't mean to make it sound like that's what I expected from him. :/ I don't expect him to devote every second of his free time to me, but when we barely talk as it is, talking is important, and not just a few words either. But thank you, I'll ask him.

Oh no I didn't mean it like that... I just used that as an example of my personal thoughts/experiences. I used to always want my SO to talk to me whenever he was online and I'd get bummed out if he wouldn't reply back instantly or talk much (I used to be really needy but I worked on that too), but I learned that just because he wasn't replying every minute to me, didn't mean he didn't love or care about me anymore . I spoke to my SO about it though and he was a lot better at being more attentive (because it was a bit bad for a while there in the beginning) - so talk to your boyfriend and ask him whats up!

[Softy]

Talk talk and talk.
That's the best thing to do in any couple.
Sometimes we would hope that men can read our thoughts.
Not happening :P

So just talk to him, tell him how it makes you feel.
Pretty sure it's nothing at all sweetheart, as other said maybe he's busy doin somethin somethin.
And most probably he has no clue that it makes you feel uneasy.

Just let him know : )

---------- Post added at 08:34 AM ---------- Previous post was at 08:31 AM ----------

Oh also to add to this, about the ' what you doin?'
I something my bf asks me a lot, and i do to.
Then I started to take pics and send him.

Like a few weeks ago I was at a tea salon with friends.
So he texted me 'what are you doin baby?'.
I replied with a picture 'having tea with friends and i love you baby!' along with the pic.

So he knows what i'm doing + he gets to see what i like to do (tea with friends!) + makes him wants to see those places with me when he comes over!

^_^