love/hate relationship...

[kryso]

with my phone.

the day is finally here, we said our goodbyes. im doing better than i thought i would though. i think 10 days of crying over it officially wore me out. we talked a little this morning about trips to see each other & planned out our next visit. just sucks. no other way around it. i left for work this morning and our apartment was completely in shambles. boxes and clothes are all over the ground. i have to work today until 3AM so i know when i come home from an 18 hour work day im coming home to a completely empty apartment & a cold bed. just sucks.

any words of advice would help. i know im not making any sense, im just so tired & plainly sad that i dont know what to think. :\

[Softy]

Advices are to come here from time to time and let us know how you are doin
Really, I totally know the feeling... When my man leaves it's harsh and yes i know... The empty cold bed.

A thing that we started doing lately that helps a tad, he left some of his stuff at my place.
He left some clothes, a hat and wrote messages on the fridge. So I see his things everywhere and I know he will be back for it :P
Even if he's away for now, he's always with me.

I thought of making a body-pillow with his face on it but it would be too creepy! :P

So... there's is no miracle cure sweets, or we would all be at it.
Keep busy, come here and talk

/hugs

[lala]

a hot water bag hehe that help me to sleep better.. other than that I have no advice.. this situation is hard for everyone and we all have to deal with the same problem! stay strong sweety

[lademoiselle]

Load up your iPod with your favourite tunes and exercise the blues away. Go to the supermarket, buy a copious amount of chocolate (and pile back on all the calories you've just burned off!). Log in to LFAD and speak to any one of us, knowing that you're never alone. Have a great big hug from me, and I hope you feel better very soon

[Deleted]

Hugs to you! I never lived/sleeped with my SO and that won't happen in years but I do relate when you say you miss your SO a lot. Well...I guess just everyone in LFAD does, so don't ever feel alone regarding that.

I also cried my eyes out when my SO left for several days...but think of it another way, you are trying to keep this relationship and that's very good. I've been told once that in order to go long-distance with someone is because the heart was strong enough to quiet the brain for a while and decide to try something that many people believe too hard.

So you, as everyone here, is strong in a way. You can do it, cheer up! Do something you like, get distracted, do something for yourself... etc. Maybe do something you had not done in years/months.

You only just started so it can be REALLY hard...but believe me, you will see much better moments and those do not necessarily involve visits.

*hugs to you*

[Biddlybiddlybombop]

One thing that I hold on to when one of us leaves is that although the first bit is really really hard, you will get used to this. It seems impossible right now, but shockingly, you will get into a routine and it won't hurt as much. I've often likened it in my head to the feelings you get when you break up - like you'll never stop missing your SO so intensely, like it'll never be better and you'll never feel normal. But you will. Let yourself have a grieving period. Cut yourself some slack. Things will get better. *hugs*

[Safiyah]

There is no way around it, goodbye's really suck!
The first time it happened I was a mess, but the second time I was more prepared. Maybe it's something you can get used to?
I think when you get in the habit of him not being there, it will get easier. What's hard is the things you used to do together you have to do alone, but after a while you become used to doing it alone again.
It can be good to make a lot of time to talk to each other the first few days/weeks, and try your best to comfort each other. Making plans to see each other again is also very important, it will be easier if you have a date to look forward to. Like Softy says, having things that remind you of him can be very comforting too. Don't forget, time heals all wounds, so I'd say give yourself enough time to pick yourself up, and yes, it will get easier

Much love,

Safiyah

[kryso]

Thank you all so much! I made it through the weekend suprisingly well. Im just mad now. & I have no logical reason to be mad. We havent really talked as much as I feel we should be and Im still not so secretly mad at him for choosing to go in the first place. Something HAS to give. Im already over being mad and pissy all the time.

[Softy]

Im already over being mad and pissy all the time.

Join the club Hi, I'm pissy too!
And it's ok to be.
I like to study ppl and study myself really.

And my 'being pissy' (thats for me...) comes from well of course being away from my man.
But mostly because i feel 'powerless'....
I cannot do anything but wait and THAT is bugging me a lot.
I'm in no situation to pop plane tickets out of my wazoo, I don't have enough money to go see him like I would like.
And that is making me mad.
Somedays we talk and sometimes he's like 'Bleh I had a bad day' and all I can do is listen.
GOD I'd like to do more than that, I'd like to just show up, make him dinners, go to movies....
You know, stuff couples do. But due to the distance I am unable to provide him those things for now.
And that turns me into THE HULK!!!!!!!!!!!! YES!

Keep strong ppl
You aren't alone!

[katylynnlee]

I just got back from visiting my SO, and I brought one of his shirts with me (I'm wearing it now), because it reminds me of him. His smell, etc. Scent triggers the memory more than any other sense, so I came up with an idea that I think would benefit everyone on here if they are able to do it. I agree with what people above are saying, let him leave some stuff in the apartment to remind you of him, a shirt for example. Then, if this is possible for you, send each other garments of clothing or stuffed animals through the mail. Sleep with a teddy bear for a few days, and then mail it to him. It'll remind you both of what it's like to be in the same bed, and you can curl up to something your SO has given to you.

I'm a little tired from my flight, so I might not be making any sense, but in my head it seems like a great idea.

[kryso]

Thats definitely an excellent idea. Since this is so temporary/up in the air alot of his stuff was left here. However, the shirts and such he left went through the wash..they just smell like my clothes lol he did leave a tshirt that he wrote the sweetest messages & sprayed cologne on, on my pillow so I do have that & you're so right that smell made everything seem so much better.

Softy- thanks for your support, its so good to know Im not the only one getting mad. Especially, cause I feel so ridiculous. At the end of the day I know being mad wont fix a damn thing, but its SO much better than being sad & crying. I HATE CRYING. it makes me mad. weird cycle i know lol I really appreciate the support though, you guys are amazing!!