Girlfriend completed college. I'm just starting

[jaymo90]

Hello. I am 21 years old gonna be 22 end of summer. I have been with my girlfriend for 5 months so far. She lives in the Philippines. She is also done with college. And I am just starting next month. I feel like a loser or whatever because I feel I am starting college late. My degree is gonna take 2 years to complete. I told her that and she said that it is ok. And that she will wait for me no matter what. So she said she is gonna wait the 2 years until I am done with school. I believe her. She also said she is worried that I will not have any time for her and that I am gonna be constantly busy between school and work. I'm going to school 4 days a week. Monday through thursday all day long. But I guess I am just worried and scared that she will leave me while I'm in school. What should I do? Please any thoughts or suggestions?

[snow_girl]

Firstly not going to school straight after you graduate doesn't make you a loser. I am 24 and haven't gone back yet and am not sure I ever will. There is not cookie cutter way of how to do things so if you spent a few years after high school doing your own thing then thats great! I know lots of people that jumped straight in to college and now regret it cause they just took any class cause they thought thats what you were supposed to do and now they don't like their degree and are in lots of debt.

Just cause you are in school doesn't mean you won't have time to email or talk briefly once a day. As long as you are able to send a message to her tellhing her you are a little busy but are thinking about her then I don't think there is anything to worry about

[Spriteling]

Being in different places in life shouldn't change your relationship. I am about to graduate from my undergraduate degree and start a PhD, and my girlfriend is just finishing her first year of uni. We're at different stages in life, but we make time to skype and email and chat. If you want this to work, you can make that happen.

Also, don't feel bad for not going to uni right away. It's better to wait and be sure of what you want than to jump in and regret things!

[lademoiselle]

I totally agree with the previous posters. I'll be 20 next month and starting my first year of uni after the summer, whereas my SO, now 22, completed his master's degree last year - in other words, he's finished higher education two years early and I'll begin it two years late! While he's holding down a steady job, for the next three years I'll be very much a student; our circumstances couldn't be more different, but neither of us can imagine this will become a problem it itself. No two lives or situations are exactly the same. You needn't feel ashamed or anything for being in the place you are in comparison to your girlfriend. I honestly believe that matters like this don't have to be an issue if you refuse to let them

[13000km]

The education systems in different countries work differently. I graduated from our equivalent of high school at 16, then graduated from a 3 year course in preschool education, and worked for a little over a year. I just started going back to school this school year at 21, but that is considered "late" amongst my peers, as those who decided to take their bachelors should be graduating soon, whereas I have a few more years to go. That doesn't necessarily put me at a "lesser" stage of life from them.

snow_girl is right, your schooling should not affect the time you spend together in any way. If both parties are determined and committed to make the relationship work, I don't believe being at different stages of life will stand in the way.

[princessmeg1328]

To me, the thing that matters the most is that you're going to get a degree. I'm not saying that anybody has to get a degree because I know not everybody is cut out for it. I've just always though that getting an education is very important. It doesn't matter when you go, as long as you go. I started relationship with my fiance my final year at uni. When I was taking classes, it really wasn't that hard. We always found time to talk despite our 6 hour time difference. My only suggestion is to try to arrange your classes so that you have time to talk to your SO. I'm not sure what your time difference is, but try to work around it if you can. I think I kind of staggered my classes so that we could at least talk every other day. I guess I have one more piece of advice to share: Remember it's ok to not talk everyday. As long as you communicate with her once a day, I'm sure you'll have a great relationship!