I have been with my SO for 7 months. We go through periods of time where we don't see one another for 2-3 weeks and some times we get to see one another 3 weekends in a row. Last week, during spring break, I stayed with him for the entire week and watched his sons for him while he worked. (I work from home so it was not a real inconvenience for me).
The week there was a bit odd. 3 days into me being there, he made a joke about my body that really bothered me (I weight train heavily) and I called him out on it. It was the first time he has ever said a joke that really offended me. he was so apologetic when he realized I was upset and he swore he would never joke like that again.
Well, that night after having this first ever conflict, I felt I needed to be close to him, desired by him. Stupidly the night before we made a bet that I couldn't seduce him, that he could be that strong willed to resist me. Well, this night after the first ever conflict, I crawled up next to him in bed and CLEARLY made it known I wanted to be intimate with him. All he did was just stroke my arm or my back with nothing further. I was frustrated and got out of his bed and went into mine to finally get some sleep.
The next two nights I went to bed frustrated because yet again, there was no intimacy. he only finally initiated one night when he knew it would be our last opportunity to be intimate. After being intimate that night we had a discussion and he said "You wanted to make love that first night huh?" I said "Well....yea! I thought I made it obvious!" and he said "Yea, but we made that bet. I thought it was still on!"
He also commented how I was in a rank mood the past few nights and I explained it was because I felt rejected sexually by him. So we discussed it and felt like things were smoothed over.
The rest of my stay there was good. There was one evening (his birthday) he came home in a very foul mood. Even though I had brought him lunch on his lunch hour and so his boys got to see him and I got to see him, he still had a bad day. He was a bit snappy with me that evening. His patience was extremely low towards everyone.
Ok, now there is a reason I shared all this.
This week his contact has been less and less. He normally would call me at least twice a week. He only called me briefly on Monday during his lunch hour to tell me he got a job interview for a position that is closer to where his boys live (20 minutes from me). Otherwise, I called him Tuesday night and I called him again on Thursday night basically because the only contact I had with him Thursday was a "good morning text".
Which brings me to my next point. He has been texting me far less than he used to. About a month ago he got in trouble for texting at work, so I backed off and so did he, where he would text in the morning, on his lunch hour and then in the evening after work. Occasionally he would send me a message later in the afternoon before he got off work. Now he is texting me in the morning to say "hello" but sometimes he doesn't even do that and so by 10 or 11 am, i will finally give in and text him "Good morning". And now I get about 1-2 messages in the evening just before he goes to bed.
He used to text me every morning without fail, several in the evening and he always said "good night" via text.
I can't even blame work on his texting cutbacks because even on the weekends I have not seen him, he texts me in the same manner, a morning and a night one.
We don't skype because he doesn't have a computer. He actually is not very techie at all. So all we have are texts and phone calls.
The other thing is he used to greet me with "good morning beautiful" or "good morning babydoll". Now all I ever get is "good morning hun" or sometimes "Good morning".
I sent him a photo of me on Easter, wearing a dress and he never commented on it like he normally would. Instead about 2 hours later he was asking for help with a test question he was studying for.
I should mention all of this contact changes happened progressively. It's not like all of a sudden. The biggest change was his phone call habits. That seems to have suddenly start this week.
Is this normal behavior?
The week there was a bit odd. 3 days into me being there, he made a joke about my body that really bothered me (I weight train heavily) and I called him out on it. It was the first time he has ever said a joke that really offended me. he was so apologetic when he realized I was upset and he swore he would never joke like that again.
Well, that night after having this first ever conflict, I felt I needed to be close to him, desired by him. Stupidly the night before we made a bet that I couldn't seduce him, that he could be that strong willed to resist me. Well, this night after the first ever conflict, I crawled up next to him in bed and CLEARLY made it known I wanted to be intimate with him. All he did was just stroke my arm or my back with nothing further. I was frustrated and got out of his bed and went into mine to finally get some sleep.
The next two nights I went to bed frustrated because yet again, there was no intimacy. he only finally initiated one night when he knew it would be our last opportunity to be intimate. After being intimate that night we had a discussion and he said "You wanted to make love that first night huh?" I said "Well....yea! I thought I made it obvious!" and he said "Yea, but we made that bet. I thought it was still on!"
He also commented how I was in a rank mood the past few nights and I explained it was because I felt rejected sexually by him. So we discussed it and felt like things were smoothed over.
The rest of my stay there was good. There was one evening (his birthday) he came home in a very foul mood. Even though I had brought him lunch on his lunch hour and so his boys got to see him and I got to see him, he still had a bad day. He was a bit snappy with me that evening. His patience was extremely low towards everyone.
Ok, now there is a reason I shared all this.
This week his contact has been less and less. He normally would call me at least twice a week. He only called me briefly on Monday during his lunch hour to tell me he got a job interview for a position that is closer to where his boys live (20 minutes from me). Otherwise, I called him Tuesday night and I called him again on Thursday night basically because the only contact I had with him Thursday was a "good morning text".
Which brings me to my next point. He has been texting me far less than he used to. About a month ago he got in trouble for texting at work, so I backed off and so did he, where he would text in the morning, on his lunch hour and then in the evening after work. Occasionally he would send me a message later in the afternoon before he got off work. Now he is texting me in the morning to say "hello" but sometimes he doesn't even do that and so by 10 or 11 am, i will finally give in and text him "Good morning". And now I get about 1-2 messages in the evening just before he goes to bed.
He used to text me every morning without fail, several in the evening and he always said "good night" via text.
I can't even blame work on his texting cutbacks because even on the weekends I have not seen him, he texts me in the same manner, a morning and a night one.
We don't skype because he doesn't have a computer. He actually is not very techie at all. So all we have are texts and phone calls.
The other thing is he used to greet me with "good morning beautiful" or "good morning babydoll". Now all I ever get is "good morning hun" or sometimes "Good morning".
I sent him a photo of me on Easter, wearing a dress and he never commented on it like he normally would. Instead about 2 hours later he was asking for help with a test question he was studying for.
I should mention all of this contact changes happened progressively. It's not like all of a sudden. The biggest change was his phone call habits. That seems to have suddenly start this week.
Is this normal behavior?
It sounds like he has something on his mind, especially work related. Maybe you can put out feelers, like ldrhourglass suggested, and just show you're there for him. It sounds like he's been under a lot of stress at work, and if he has two sons, I can only imagine that would be stressful as well! If things continue, maybe you could ask for a specific time to talk, and just calmly bring up your concerns like you did here. I think you presented it very well,a nd if you make sure you emphasize that you're there to support him, you love him, and you're simply asking to make sure he's okay, I don't think he'll have a problem with that. If he gets defensive, give him time to come round. One thing I've learned from being in a relationship (and this really applies to people in general :P) is that people will take their own time to come round to a touchy subject, and when they do, because it's through an organic process of their own, they're much more receptive and understanding to your point of view. I'd continue to show him love and support, and just be yourself. Don't be afraid to make your needs known--you deserve to have a boyfriend who's there for you!
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