About the going the distance for your SO,and away from family

Hey Sweethearts.

I'm coming closer and closer to the day I will have to pack and go live with him, and just visit my home/city/family for vacations. I am actually going in 15 days , and staying there for a good 2,5 months.Then I will be back for exams I have, and ..... in October I pack myself and go there.

Now...... My sister lives in Italy for more than 6 years with her Italian boyfriend. My parents already know the feeling of letting her go and be happy with her foreign SO. And it's going well and strong for a long time now. She's the bigger one.

Me, I have never been away from home ( boy I regret that) and as much as I wished to have more experience on my own - all the things in my life happened here, more or less. High school, relationships, work, all studies. I am finishing college in 2 weeks. So I already had ticket for May, and also for June ( both with returns - first 7 days after , second - 30 days after) but now that I finished earlier with my exams, which was totally unexpected - me and my SO talked about me staying until the return date of my 2-nd trip! Which is...... 2,5 months away. I am great with this, he is totally great with this, his parents ( yes, he is still living with them, and also working on living alone with me already) are ok, and my mom....... I just told her...... she was sad. She tried not to be. But she was. I made few jokes but couldn't take the seriousness of her look so I just shut the topic.

Please, please give me advice on how to deal exactly with my family (parents) and actually making them understand that I AM going there. And that IT IS happening already. I know they are and will always be sad to let their kids go, but .... I just don't know. My sister never had to say anything I guess, because she studied there first, then found SO, and it all happened smoothly.

I feel weird. I should be like crazy happy, excited, scared even about this, but I feel guilty ( that I leave my parents) and kind of confused because of this.

Any advice will be good. Thanks!

[lala]

ooh sweety it's your LIFE! you are a grown up and have to go your own ways.. of course your parents are sad.. but they will be fine! that's what everyone has to go through don't feel guilty

[lademoiselle]

I agree with lala; this separation is inevitable sooner or later. Yes, your parents will be upset, but no, their sorrow won't last forever. Do you have any younger siblings still living at home? If not and you feel your parents aren't coping as well with the prospect of you leaving as they did with your sister, that's more than likely because you'll be the last to leave and they're suffering from a touch of "empty nest syndrome" They'll be okay though. You'll see each other again soon enough, and after that initial adjustment period you'll find that everyone settles down into their respective new routines. Don't worry or feel guilty, just do what you need to do and everything will turn out fine

[lyonsgirl]

I agree with lala and lamadamoiselle. I'm the youngest, so my parents (especially my mom) went through the empty nest syndrome when I left for college. If your parents weren't at least a little upset I might be concerned, haha! It seems like your parents are okay with it though, which is awesome.

You'll see each other when you can (I haven't been seen my dad or my sister since December, and saw my mom for a few days at the beginning of March.), but don't forget to call/email/text them too. Even if you aren't the youngest child, I know your parents would still like to hear from you. Don't worry, most everyone goes through this when they move away from home for the first time.

[lucybelle]

If your parents support your siblings, they'll support you too. My SO moved in with me, to a different country he had only been to once, the first time he ever moved away from his family or his country. Sort of your same situation. I'll tell you what he went through because I think it might be the same for you.

At first, he was happy to be there. Things were new and exciting and fun. Then about a month in, he hated it. Hated the country, hated the language, missed his family, missed his culture, everything. He told me he never wanted to live outside of his country again. Then, about 5 months in, he started liking it and now we plan to settle down in my home country.

So. Be patient with the move. You're going to be on a roller coaster of emotions and feelings. Talk with your SO about it and stay positive. Good luck

[LoveJ]

Letting you go is probably a tough thing for your parents; it might not really hit them until you're actually gone. Just reassure them how much you love them, and that you're only a phonecall or email away. That will make things a little bit easier on both of you, knowing that even though you're moving, but it's not like you're leaving the planet. Moves can seem like bigger deals than they are. Unless you're moving to the jungle, you can still keep in very frequent contact.

[Ivy]

Thank you.

My mom already knows I will talk to her via Skype all the time. My SO is very supportive and wants to talk about this if I need to. His parents are more than welcoming people, and don't have any kind of problem me staying there for as much as we both need until we find our own place there.
I mean, I was expecting big changes , and there is still a while to go... but it gets closer, the "Real" moving in. I am going for 2 months now, but in October I will go with all my luggage and I will actually stay there. I take it with quite a philosophy. I mean, I will miss my family, obviously, I will miss MY bed, MY room.... a.k.a. things to call really MINE. I will miss the 1-2 real friends I have, and obviously everything that was known until now. But I am also very open about new things, and I always wanted to move abroad. I get it as not only change of my life but exploring new world, cultures or whatever.

Well, if one day I become a mother, maybe I will understand this gap. But I really hope I can make it easier for her because otherwise it will be difficult for me too. And I don't even want to start with my father, who is keeping everything inside and just imagine the moment on the airport and all the tears I will see - I already want to go and hide somewhere just thinking about this. But come on, I am like.... an old lady now! 24 soon..... my time was a little while ago, and maybe still. So I need to do it. And I want to..... my SO will live with me. Hohohoho..... no more beers and socks on the floor,dude! ( JOKE, I like socks! )

Thanks again!

[temporaryuser]

your advantage is that you are used to dealing with a ldr. This time it will be with your family and friends. You are accustmed to skyoing, so your parents will still get to "see" you on a regular basis. That will help them tremendously to be able to see that you are ok and doing well and happy