HI all :)

[Sharon Q]

Hey guys I haven't been on in a long time. First How is everyone?

Seccond I'm in a tight spot. Robert and I arnt together. BUT we are still talking and I'm seeing about transfering to his job corps center. Frankly I don't think we were cut out for the distance. We love each other very much, but I feel going LD after three years of being CD was too much stress for both of us. Things have gotten better.

- I've learned that by giving him space and letting him come to me, makes things less stressful for us.
- I've been working on SHOWING I care instead of saying it, and He has used his words a tad more.
Tho he waits until I feel like he doesnt care to say he does >.> But its a work in progress, mostly ( and this is where I need your guy's help )

Being at his center, with hardly any frineds ( he's been there since January. ) and not much to do has seemed to get him into a depressive state. He is doing college, Which I imagine must be stressful.

He has been talking to me almost daily, which is a change from his once normal once a week email. But I've noticed the past few days his responses were short.


I emaild him yesterday to strike up some normal conversation saying " Hey I just wanted to strike up some conversation and see how things were on your end, seeing as we've been so focoused on me transfering to your center, how have things been. " ( not word for word but abrivated )

He replied with " there's really not a whole lot going on at my end. you know the saying "if you can't say anything positive, don't say anything at all" so I guess I just don't have a lot to say. "

I replied with : " Hang in there it'll get better. If I could I'd give you a big hug right now. If there is any way I can brighten your day let me know. I love you. keep your head up xoxo "

He replied later that night, with " thanks. I'm feeling a little better now that it's later. "




Then today I wrote him and said " That's good Oh I hope you don't mind me sending you letters, I just go a calligraphy set, it came with a quill pen, ink, a stamp and some wax. I'm having fun with it - If I could do my school work with it I would lol. I know, I know, I'm a bit of a dork.

Anyway I have to go back to studying, I'll check back in a bit. "


And his only response was : " cool "

you see I'm a bit of an empath, and knowing him as well as I do also helps, I can tell he isnt exactly happy. It doesnt take a rocket scientest to tell that.

I know being so far away I can't do much to help. I can offer to be there, but thats about it.

Do you guys have any ideas on how to cheer your special person up when they are so far apart?

Anything would help.

[Biddlybiddlybombop]

I'm not sure I understand your situation. Are you two not officially together BUT still exclusive and in love etc etc, OR are you not together, full stop? Because from YOUR emails to him, it's still got little hints of relationship-y-ness, and your explanation at the start seems like you're still together... however, HIS responses to you are pretty cool and laid back, and I don't know if that's just his personality, or if it's him pulling away from you because you're not together anymore...

Because if it's the second, then I would suggest that you don't particularly make an effort to cheer him up. If you're not together, doing all the special things that you do when you're in a relationship are going to be more weird than helpful. Checking in and just being friendly and chatty are ok, but overt displays of love aren't.

If you're not together, I suggest you treat him like a friend, not like a boyfriend, and right now, you're not doing that. And I get that you love each other and WANT to be together, but by pressing the 'love' factor, you're basically still in a relationship emotionally, and that's going to put pressure on each other to fulfil certain expectations.