What if you don't feel like changing your life?

[temporaryuser]

being fluent and able to teach portuguese would make it easier in some ways to find a job. As a translator (hospitals, government etc) or a university teaching. You just need to know where to look for the right jobs. I would think you would feel more comfortable with the idea if you knew you had a decent job and stable income here.

[kteire]

I've never liked the thought of living in the US, but I guess that's cause I'm a Canadian who grew up close to the border, haha.

That aside, I've always said that the only things in life that I've regretted are the things I haven't done. Sure I miss the fantastic job that I left behind twice to move to Ireland and now the UK, and I miss my friends and family a lot... but I'd never have known how fantastic life could be if I'd stayed in my rut in my own place!! It's a new adventure, and to be completely honest, if you don't like it, you can always just go home. I like the idea of a short trial period like lucybelle did, that's kind of what my SO and I are doing in different places until we can figure out where we want to live long term... A year in Ireland, 6 months in Edinburgh, a year and a bit in London, 2 years in Vancouver, and who knows from then on!

I know that's not for everyone, but my point is, you will miss out if you don't take chances! One of you is gonna have to move if you want it to work, and if she's not able to, it's up to you. It's scary, but nothing is stable and unchanging in life, so I just like to go with the flow

[lucybelle]

@lucybelle: how did your boyfriend "create" this opportunity to live with you temporarilly? That's my biggest problem.

He had worked at his job for over 10 years and had a great report with the head of the company. They allowed him to take up to a year off to come live with me in the states, and held his job for him. The thought was, it would take longer than a year to train someone to do his job as well as he does, so they might as well just wait. He lived with me for 6 months on a tourist visa. When that ran out, we moved down to his country. He started his same job only a week after he moved back.

So he had a real special case. The thing I'm saying is it's good to try new things. It's good to take chances. Changes can be exciting and fun and sometimes they are awful, but you'll never know until you try.

[Softy]

For my situation, I'm in Canada and my bf is in the states in Texas.
We talked of course about 'when' and 'how' we would close the distance.
Of course, one of us has to leave everything behind.

He said that he prefers for him to leave Texas and come to live with me here.
For many reasons I think this is the best for both of us, we have better health care and social services here and no tornados :P
This means, he will leave family, friends and also his job behind.
Will this be easy? No, surely not. I do plan to be with him, help him and comfort him in the best I can.

Now, if he would ask me to leave all behind for him and move to Texas, would I do it?
Yes, definitely. It would be harsh, but for him I would do anything.

So, if you do decide to start a LDR you eventually get to the talk of 'How do we close the distance'.
One of you will have to sacrifice things and such.

[Moon]

See, the thing is, one of you has to make the move, whether you feel like it or not, in order for the relationship to have a point. Somebody has to make the move eventually. There are tons of things to factor in when deciding who moves, and your career is a very important factor that sometimes gets underestimated, so I completely understand where you're coming from. It really could come down to your job or your girl though, so be prepared for that and decide which you'd rather be without

Moving to a new country is a pretty scary choice, sure, and change doesn't come easy for everyone, but at your age it's not so bad, and while scary, it's also really exciting.

[LoveJ]

Simple question: If you were to keep your job and end things with her as a result of it, would you regret it?

[brazil]

@LoveJ: Yes, for all my life.

@others: I'm even scared to change jobs in my city. I know change is necessary and while I'm feeling more open to the opportunity, I don't have money for an exchange student program. I have no idea how to take care of myself and I'm just really, really scared of the extremely different. It was amazing the time we spent together in Orlando, but I was vacationing, it would be a complete different thing if I'd looked for a job to work or a school to study at.

I have no idea of how to create this opportunity for us to be together for longer than a couple of weeks. It just gets harder and harder not to be with her, no matter how much we talk or webcam.

I feel like things aren't moving for me. I have nothing to look forward to, no plans no nothing. We have a big plan of moving together in 2 years, but nothing has changed in these 3 months since we've seen each other. It is terrifying to think that time keeps going on and no plans are made. I'm saving money by default. There are non plans because she has to regulate her situation in her own country. It's frustrating that now I'm the one waiting and while she never pressured me to speed up my visa, I can't help but ask her many times about hers.

We've been together for over 3 years and the 2 weeks we spent together were not enough. I cry every day because of the distance and it feels like I'm just floating in space, doing things just because I should...

For you American people (and for those who've lived in the ?US), how valid is your degree over there? How easy is it for a foreigner to find a job? How is it possible to get a work visa, do you need to have a job already? I've worked so hard and it took me so long to get a tourist visa, and I feel so frustrated because sometimes I feel that I did so much and for so little (stable work, but I wanna move. Tourist visa, but I wanna study/work)... It feels like I'm throwing everything I ever fought for for something I don't even know how to do... (work abroad, live or study abroad.)

[Moon]

For you American people (and for those who've lived in the ?US), how valid is your degree over there? How easy is it for a foreigner to find a job? How is it possible to get a work visa, do you need to have a job already? I've worked so hard and it took me so long to get a tourist visa, and I feel so frustrated because sometimes I feel that I did so much and for so little (stable work, but I wanna move. Tourist visa, but I wanna study/work)... It feels like I'm throwing everything I ever fought for for something I don't even know how to do... (work abroad, live or study abroad.)

Most Americans can't answer that, we don't know, we've never had to do it, or look into it There may be a few people though who had a foreign SO and may know something. I do know that if your paperwork is valid, and you have the right credentials, you have the same chance at a job as anyone, pretty much. We're used to immigrants here and in most cases an employer wouldn't even think about you being from somewhere else, it's just not a big deal in the US, at least not in my part of it. Good luck though, and try to face your fears, if you can get over them a little, you'll be really proud of yourself.