ANY BODY WILLING TO HELP A STUDENT AND FELLOW LDR MEMBER WANTED !!!

[Deleted]

Interesting! I'll answer this for you.


1. How long have you been with your SO? How far apart are you?
I've been a year and 10 days with him at this point, out of this time we've been long distance for 9 and half months. He lives around 900 miles apart from me.

2. Briefly describe your SO’s personality?
He's a very sensible guy with lots of imagination. He can be very mature when it comes to serious situations and he is very smart and cultured. He works a lot with his moral and has a very good heart although he believes he must still grow up and become a better person. He's kind of introverted but he knows how to stand for what he wants.

3. What do you believe is the hardest part in maintaining a long distance relationship?
Going out with friends who invite their couples and being the only one there whose partner isn't there. It gets a little awkward.

4. Are there any advantages to a LDR.
Definitely. We can spend more time with friends and family, we have time for school too... but mostly, we learn a lot about trust, we get extra chances of being romantic, and we get to know each other better than close distance couples...since speaking is all we can do. And of course... when you do get time with your SO, it's just priceless.

5. Do you find keeping a LDR going frustrating?
I used to believe it but it grows easier every time for me.

6. If there are any problems, do they tend to be reoccurring issues? If so what are they?
Not really. Perhaps the only issue is the fact that when we speak he can't see my face right away so he can't know from first glance how I am feeling...so it makes starting a conversation a bit harder.

7. What do you believe is the key/s to a healthy relationship?
Love, trust, honesty, commitment... and some maturity.

8. How important is trust?
Way too much! If you can't be trusted and cannot trust, you will have plenty of troubles in an LDR and you will constantly feel troubled.

9. Has jealousy ever been an issue? If so how do you deal with it?
Not really, i've felt just little itches of jealousy but they have never really botehred me because I trust him a lot and we always speak about it in a good way.

10. Is your feeling of intimacy (emotional closeness) towards your SO affected by the distance?
Affected, yes... for the bad? No. It helped us grow stronger emotionally and have stronger feelings towards one another.

11. How do you attempt to maintain “closeness” while separated? In other words how do you cope through time spent apart?
We speak a lot, we tell each other how our day went, we have skype dates every now and then. I like sending letters and drawings to him and he loves writing so he makes poems and stories he reads to me.

12. Do you see any shift in yourself, emotions/actions, when separated from your SO?
When I am missing him too much I can get bitchy and act emotionally distant. This does not happen a lot though, and i've learnt that it is better to tell him how much I miss him even if he has to see me cry over it via skype; than keeping it inside.

13. Is it worth it?[/QUOTE]
Totally. Every single day of waiting for him is. The way we feel when we are together is worth this and and much more.

[kiara_silver]

1. How long have you been with your SO? How far apart are you?
We've been together 3 years in May, were currently 5016.5 miles apart.
2. Briefly describe your SO’s personality?
He is so loving, and when hes passionate about something he goes after and does it, weather its with love, work, life. He isn't afraid of commitment, and is such a child at heart, silly and mean, but the sweetest guy you'll ever meet. Always there for his friends and loved ones.
3. What do you believe is the hardest part in maintaining a long distance relationship?
The distance really gets to you, being alone, the loneliness of not being able to do the simplest things such as going out for a walk and holding hands. It gets hard sometimes, seeing others out and having to wait. Not being able to see his smile, or show him something new you bought or go out to dinner or just all the little things you could easily take for granted become the big things you miss.
4. Are there any advantages to a LDR.
You really build up your communication, you connect and get to know each other on a emotional level. I feel its brought us close, and we don't take each other for granted.
5. Do you find keeping a LDR going frustrating?
Not keeping it going, but being in one. Just when i need him most and hes unable to be there for me, and visa versa. Its hard and really gets to you.
6. If there are any problems, do they tend to be reoccurring issues? If so what are they?
No, the main issue for us is finding a way to close the distance. We have our bumps along the way yes, mostly due to mis-communication, but they get resolved pretty quickly.
7. What do you believe is the key/s to a healthy relationship?
Honesty, trust, communication, being open and sharing, respect. And appreciating your SO.
8. How important is trust?
Very, it keeps the relationship going.
9. Has jealousy ever been an issue? If so how do you deal with it?
ehh... not a issue, but i've been jealous over silly things. But in the end i talk it out and vent with him whats bothering me then we move on. Lol im a possessive girl.
10.Is your feeling of intimacy (emotional closeness) towards your SO affected by the distance?
Not the feelings no, I still crave him. But being able to do anything from a distance stinks...
11. How do you attempt to maintain “closeness” while separated? In other words how do you cope through time spent apart?
We talk almost daily, always sharing what big events, or whats going on. Hes always so affectionate with me with his words. I think in a relationship, especially a LDR, those words of love our important, not just knowing they know you love them, but saying it! Telling them how you feel. We don't go without telling each other we love one another, and i have never tired of hearing him tell me he loves me.
12.Do you see any shift in yourself, emotions/actions, when separated from your SO?
right after a visit from him for sure im more moody and sad. But we talk and look to our next time together, that helps. Keeping busy helps, there are moments were i just get upset out of the blue over the simple fact he isnt with me, but it passes. I think talking about closing the distance helps, knowing its not forever.

13.Is it worth it?
Its completely worth it. Not the distance, but him. He is worth it.

[sewbama]

1. How long have you been with your SO? How far apart are you?
a year and a half. Right now, about ten feet. But for the first six months, we were 60 miles apart. In about three months, we'll be about 200 miles apart.
2. Briefly describe your SO’s personality?
He is very intelligent, one of the most intelligent people I've ever met. He is laid back, but passionate. He can be quite shy, but is very observant. He has a terrible memory, but he always knows what's going on around him. He has a strange sense of humor, but always can get me to laugh. He is endlessly loving and devoted.
3. What do you believe is the hardest part in maintaining a long distance relationship?
Having to so often say goodbye. It's almost like you have to constantly be ok with losing him.
4. Are there any advantages to a LDR.
A good amount of privacy. Since we've done it both ways, I'll say I did enjoy having time to myself that needed no explanation.
5. Do you find keeping a LDR going frustrating?
Never. If the relationship is worth it (and ours is), "keeping it going" is just like keeping your heart beating. It can't be frustrating to stay alive.
6. If there are any problems, do they tend to be reoccurring issues? If so what are they?
Miscommunication. When you don't have body language or even tone of voice to go on most of the time, it gets difficult to be sure you are understanding each other correctly, and often you aren't.
7. What do you believe is the key/s to a healthy relationship?
It really helps when you are soul mates. But other than that, taking care of worries and issues immediately is very important. Don't let them fester, and don't get bitter.
8. How important is trust?
Very, but I don't think blind trust is helpful. Trust should be given, but eventually earned as well.
9. Has jealousy ever been an issue? If so how do you deal with it?
Not seriously. Of course we become jealous of those that get to spend more time with our loved ones than we do, but there has never been any sexually triggered jealousy.
10. Is your feeling of intimacy (emotional closeness) towards your SO affected by the distance?
Yes. But not always in the same way. Sometimes I feel it is stronger because we have gone through something so difficult together. Sometimes I feel it is weaker because we don't get to be together every night. I think the ebbs and flows are normal for a relationship, though, so I think it evens out.
11. How do you attempt to maintain “closeness” while separated? In other words how do you cope through time spent apart?
A lot of text messages, phone calls, and hobbies. Staying busy helps a lot. Being students, we both often have our hands full with assignments anyway, but I also like to sew and make greeting cards. So keeping busy really gives your mind something else to focus on rather than just how much you miss him.
12. Do you see any shift in yourself, emotions/actions, when separated from your SO?
Yes. I feel... empty. It's like I want to share all these things I'm doing with him, but I can't. It's almost like I'm carrying on a conversation with him in my head all the time, but he never hears it.
13. Is it worth it?
Absolutely. But then, for my soulmate, I'd do anything. A few years separated by a couple hundred miles is nothing.

[eveningsky]

1. How long have you been with your SO? How far apart are you?
2 years and 2 months exactly tomorrow (since Feb 26, 2010)
According to a Google search we're about 3900 miles apart.

2. Briefly describe your SO’s personality?
Sweet, caring, open-minded, committed to the things he cares about, determined to reach goals, emotionally strong, enjoys comedy.

3. What do you believe is the hardest part in maintaining a long distance relationship?
The expense and time lost (by time lost I mean the time you would spend together in a close distance relationship that you don't get because you're in an LDR). No physical touching at all, no dates, having to spend 10+ months apart because you just can't afford to see each other!

4. Are there any advantages to a LDR.
Showing each other that you both are truly committed to the relationship by sticking it through the hardest part. Maturing in ways you might not have if you had spent that time together. Getting to travel.

5. Do you find keeping a LDR going frustrating?
No. I find being apart frustrating and nationalism/international law frustrating (because it keeps us apart) but I don't find keeping my relationship going to be frustrating at all.

6. If there are any problems, do they tend to be reoccurring issues? If so what are they?
Finding out how we're going to close the distance is the only reoccurring issue in our relationship.

7. What do you believe is the key/s to a healthy relationship?
COMMUNICATION!, keeping yourself happy and letting the other person know when they did something that upset you as soon as you can.

8. How important is trust?
Mandatory. If you can't trust someone, then it's not a happy relationship.

9. Has jealousy ever been an issue? If so how do you deal with it?
No.

10.Is your feeling of intimacy (emotional closeness) towards your SO affected by the distance?
No. At first it was harder to discuss big issues over Skype (marriage and closing the distance) but now it seems like it's all I know.

11. How do you attempt to maintain “closeness” while separated? In other words how do you cope through time spent apart?
We Skype everyday for as long as we can. Even if we're doing something else other than talking, we're still on Skype together so it's almost like we're living together without being able to touch each other for a few hours.

12.Do you see any shift in yourself, emotions/actions, when separated from your SO?
I'm way more depressed about life and I feel like I have no control over it. The longer we're apart, the more pessimistic I get!

13.Is it worth it?
He's worth it.

[princessmeg1328]

1. How long have you been with your SO? How far apart are you?
We have been together for 19 months. We are about 5000 miles apart.

2. Briefly describe your SO’s personality?
My SO is kind, caring, careful about money, serious, likes to laugh, funny, calm, and romantic.

3. What do you believe is the hardest part in maintaining a long distance relationship?
The hardest part for me is not getting to see him as much as I would like to. We're an international couple and so it's expensive to go back and forth a lot. It's easier than I would have orginally thought.

4. Are there any advantages to a LDR.
Definitely! Due to the distance, you're forced to actually communicate with your SO. You can't get too distracted by the physical side of a relationship. I've learned a lot more about my fiance than I know about a lot of people I've known for many years. We probably know more about each other than a lot of CD couples know about each other.

5. Do you find keeping a LDR going frustrating?
At first, I did. As time has gone on though, it's gotten easier. The distance is still hard, but I think that as our relationship has matured, we don't get as worked up about things as we used to. The relationship has gotten easier as time has gone on.

6. If there are any problems, do they tend to be reoccurring issues? If so what are they?
We don't have any issues that I can think of.

7. What do you believe is the key/s to a healthy relationship?
Communication and trust. Without those two things, we wouldn't have made it to this point.

8. How important is trust?
Trust is one of the most important things in a relationship. You have to have it.

9. Has jealousy ever been an issue? If so how do you deal with it?
At the beginning, it was issue for me. We didn't know each for very long when we first got together, and it was hard for me to accept that he has a lot of female friends. As time went on, I began to trust him a lot more. I realized that I had to trust him if I wanted a future with him. I wanted a future with him more than anything else in the world so I got over my fears and finally began to really trust him.

10. Is your feeling of intimacy (emotional closeness) towards your SO affected by the distance?
No. I feel just as close to him when we're apart as I do when we're together.

11. How do you attempt to maintain “closeness” while separated? In other words how do you cope through time spent apart?
We Skype at least 3 times a week. We email every single day while he's at work. When things get really hard for us, we make sure to spend some time together in any way we can.

12. Do you see any shift in yourself, emotions/actions, when separated from your SO?
Things are a lot harder when we're apart. I get upset more easily, and my life tends to revolve around when I get to talk to him next. It's like he's the only thing in my life when we're apart. I actually get more involved with other things when we're together.

13. Is it worth it?
Completely. I would do anything to make sure he's always in my life.

[CandiCandi]

1. How long have you been with your SO? How far apart are you? We have been together eleven months. A year on May 11th. We're 808 miles away.

2. Briefly describe your SO’s personality? Funny, laid back, gets along with pretty much everyone (with the exception of people who are just in general, rude/mean), giving, romantic, industrious, loves to work, smart and easy to talk to.


3. What do you believe is the hardest part in maintaining a long distance relationship?
Saying goodbye at every visit and not knowing when you will see them next.

4. Are there any advantages to a LDR?
Yes and no, I guess. I think some people like the space that an LDR gives them, but I'm more of a person who would like to be with my SO. I, of course, do need personal space, but I guess I feel like I would like my personal space a lot better if I was living up here in Wisconsin with my boyfriend. It'd be easier to enjoy.


5. Do you find keeping a LDR going frustrating?
No. He is worth it.

6. If there are any problems, do they tend to be reoccurring issues? If so what are they?
Yes, there are a few reoccuring issues. I need to be more patient and that has caused some arguments. The other issues are too personal for me to get into.

7. What do you believe is the key/s to a healthy relationship? A strong friendship beforehand. People always say not to do this, but I know if me and my SO didn't have the solid friendship we had before hand, we may not be where we are now. There are certain things I would have come in not understanding, completely.


8. How important is trust?
Extremely.

9. Has jealousy ever been an issue? If so how do you deal with it?
Once. On my end. But, it's mainly for reasons I felt were completely rational.

10. Is your feeling of intimacy (emotional closeness) towards your SO affected by the distance?
No.


11. How do you attempt to maintain “closeness” while separated? In other words how do you cope through time spent apart?
ooVoo, phone calls. When I make or buy him things and then, he will get the package in the mail, if I can see his reaction over ooVoo or hear it on the phone, it makes me feel better. We talk almost every night and text every day.


12. Do you see any shift in yourself, emotions/actions, when separated from your SO?
Yes. I get more depressed. I think more about what's wrong instead of what's right. When we're close together, I think of what's right. I am more optimistic when I am close by him.

13. Is it worth it?
Yes.

[smagnew]

Thanks to everyone that took the time to answer my questions. It has helped a great deal. I just have one more question to ask of you. Are there specific personality types that make a LDR easier. Do opposites attack ? Or do similar personalty types get along better?

[lademoiselle]

I'm not sure if this counts but I've found that the fact my SO and I have almost identical emotional responses makes the distance easier to cope with. I think our personalities are quite different, but we seem to understand each other's feelings well

[floridaellen]

1. How long have you been with your SO? How far apart are you?
I've been with my SO for a little over two years, although we did have a 7 week breakup before we became long distance. We started out close distance and have been long distance for a little over 7 months. We're separated because of college. My SO, Chris, lives in New Jersey. I live in Florida during the school year and New Jersey during the summer/school breaks.

2. Briefly describe your SO’s personality?
My SO is extremely funny. He's also really sweet, even though he has a kind of tough exterior (former football player). His personality completes mine.

3. What do you believe is the hardest part in maintaining a long distance relationship?
I think the hardest part is making it still seem like a real relationship rather than just a friendship. Maintaining the intimacy is difficult without touch and closeness. I can't hug him at the end of a long day or kiss him goodnight. It's different to maintain that loving relationship without those acts.

4. Are there any advantages to a LDR.
Being in a LDR does make it easier for me to get my college coursework done. I don't have to worry about distractions. I used to have a difficult time getting high school homework done because I wanted to spend time with him instead. I don't have that distraction now.

5. Do you find keeping a LDR going frustrating?
It does get frustrating but it's worth it.

6. If there are any problems, do they tend to be reoccurring issues? If so what are they?
There are no reoccuring issues with our relationship really, other than I want him to be more romantic. He's much better at romance in person and I've learned to live with that.

7. What do you believe is the key/s to a healthy relationship?
Trust is a key. Another is thinking of your SO as your best friend. That helps us through a lot.

8. How important is trust?
Trust is very important, especially in a LDR. Not having trust and faith in your partner can ruin a relationship.

9. Has jealousy ever been an issue? If so how do you deal with it?
Jealousy has been an issue in the past but not recently. We dealt with it by spending more time with each other (from a distance) and telling each other who we were with. It's worked for us and I completely trust him.

10. Is your feeling of intimacy (emotional closeness) towards your SO affected by the distance?
Yes and that is definitely the hardest part. We're still close but sometimes the romance is lacking.

11. How do you attempt to maintain “closeness” while separated? In other words how do you cope through time spent apart?
We talk on the phone mostly. We send each other love letters for special occasions. We count down the days until we're together. We include each other on major decisions.

12. Do you see any shift in yourself, emotions/actions, when separated from your SO?
Yes. I'm definitely more easily upset and depressed when separated from my SO. I'm learning to deal with that though.

13. Is it worth it?
Absolutely.

---------- Post added at 02:03 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:01 PM ----------

Thanks to everyone that took the time to answer my questions. It has helped a great deal. I just have one more question to ask of you. Are there specific personality types that make a LDR easier. Do opposites attack ? Or do similar personalty types get along better?

I don't think it's a specific personality type but rather a similar way of dealing with issues that come up that help make a LDR easier. So essentially I agree with lademoiselle.

[lonelyinlove]

1. How long have you been with your SO? We've been together for 3 1/2 years.
How far apart are you? 240 miles.
*2. Briefly describe your SO’s personality?*Very outgoing, sweet, charismatic & funny.
3. What do you believe is the hardest part in maintaining a long distance relationship?* The hardest part is not being to see each other regularly. Most fights can be solved easier with CDR bc its easier to miscommunicate through phone conversations and texts.
4. Are there any advantages to a LDR.*I think so. I feel that it helps makes the relationship stronger if yon last bc in CDR, couples can rely on physical and sexually attraction to fuel their relationship, but in an LDR, you have no choice but to develop a mental connection and to have strong communication with each other.
5. Do you find keeping a LDR going frustrating? Of course! It's hard bc you're basically living and juggling to lives, one with your SO and the other in your local world.
6. If there are any problems, do they tend to be reoccurring issues? If so what are they?*Yes, most of it cc revolves around closing the distance.
7. What do you believe is the key/s to a healthy relationship?*Communication, communication, communication!
8. How important is trust? Very! That's all LDR couples have!
9. Has jealousy ever been an issue? Slightly, in the beginning. If so how do you deal with it?*10. Is your feeling of intimacy (emotional closeness) towards your SO affected by the distance?*11. How do you attempt to maintain “closeness” while separated? In other words how do you cope through time spent apart?*12. Do you see any shift in yourself, emotions/actions, when separated from your SO?13. Is it worth it?

[lonelyinlove]

9. Has jealousy ever been an issue? Slightly, in the beginning. If so how do you deal with it? I usually talk to him how im feeling and why im feeling that way Or I just reassure myself that i'm a catch bc jealousy often spawns from personal insecurities
10. Is you feeling of intimacy (emotional closeness) towards your SO affected by the distance?* yes.
11. How do you attempt to maintain “closeness” while separated? In other words how do you cope through time spent apart?* We talk everyday. Text throughout the day. Send pictures pg13 & xrated. We watch tv together. Etc.
12. Do you see any shift in yourself, emotions/actions, when separated from your SO? Yes sometimes I don't really want to be bother with anyone when I miss my SO bc no one in my normal world really understands what its like to be in a LDR.
13. Is it worth it?[/QUOTE]

---------- Post added at 03:55 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:51 PM ----------

13. Is it worth it?
I've found my soulmate. OF COURSE, IT'S WORTH IT. ; )

[HollzHeartsChris]

1. How long have you been with your SO? How far apart are you? Chris and I have been together on and off for around a year and a half. We live roughly 5100 miles from each other.

2. Briefly describe your SO’s personality? Chris is a quiet, intelligent and very mature young man with a sensitive and loving nature. He is very much like me, in fact I would say he is my male counterpart. He's quite introverted and hates being alone. He can get frustrated from time to time, and has a competitive side that's more often revealed when he plays video games. However, he is extremely patient, not just with me but with everyone around him (minus his dumba** parents -.-) and he is always there for me or his friends. He gets stressed out a lot because of his parents are constantly on his case, but this is always eased when we are together. All in all, he is a very loving, friendly, charming and amazing young man, and I love him dearly.

3. What do you believe is the hardest part in maintaining a long distance relationship? I think the hardest part is overcoming the distance. Chris isn't so emotionally strong as me, however he is tough in his own way, and when we are parted from time to time, it does tend to take its toll on us both. The distance between us has been a constant pain in the butt and has driven us apart at times through no fault of our own. We've hardly had any trust issues at all, since he trusts me with his life and I trust him in the same way, and communication hasn't been much of a problem. Trying to overcome the distance has been our greatest challenge, to be honest.

4. Are there any advantages to a LDR? I think so. You place your utmost trust in someone, you learn to appreciate the times you're together more than you would if you were in a CDR and you learn what patience is, as well as how love knows no bounds if it is meant to be. I think all in all LDRs involve a greater depth and understanding than CDRs do, and at the end of the day, since you're so far apart, because you're challenged so much, at the end of the day when you can finally be together forever, the victory is more hard won and refreshing than perhaps a CDR would be.

5. Do you find keeping a LDR going frustrating? I do, and whilst I would rather be CD, I would rather be in a LDR with Chris than remain as friends keeping our feelings to one another. I can't imagine my world without him.

6. If there are any problems, do they tend to be reoccurring issues? If so what are they? His parents are d****. Excuse my language. They are really rude, horrible, abusive and mean to him. They treat him little better than dirt. He can't escape them though. Not yet anyway. They like to take his stuff away from him so he can't talk to me, or his friends. Also, the distance. The distance puts tremendous strains on us. Because we love each other so much and yet us being so far from each other and with the small possibility of me not being able to go over there to see him for at least another year if not 2 years, it puts tremendous strains on us both. It's really stressful.

7. What do you believe is the key/s to a healthy relationship? Trust. Happiness. Communication. Honesty. Being at peace with one another. Things like that.

8. How important is trust? Very important. If not the most important thing. If you can't trust the one you love, who the heck can you trust?

9. Has jealousy ever been an issue? If so how do you deal with it? Jealously hasn't been too big an issue really, however when we were on break I used to get really jealous when he mentioned girls he was friends with were able to hang out with him and I wasn't etc. He tends to get jealous occasionally if I mention guys I'm friends with hanging round with me or having fun times or something like that with him. I just tell myself I'm stupid and get on with it. All you can do, really.

10. Is your feeling of intimacy (emotional closeness) towards your SO affected by the distance? Sometimes. When Chris and I have alone time, we could never be closer whilst apart unless we were actually lying side by side in each other's arms. However when we are parted for whatever reason, I feel us floating away a little from one another, just enough for us to miss each other and crave each other's company.

11. How do you attempt to maintain “closeness” while separated? In other words how do you cope through time spent apart? I spend a lot of time on my own, I'm a bit of a loner by nature anyway, and most of the times I'm alright. Sometimes I'll cry myself to sleep. But other times I'll just chat with my parents and hang out with them or friends from college and I'll just get so caught up in what I'm doing I forget for awhile how Chris and I are parted. Nursing keeps me busy, especially when I'm working on wards or just studying. Gaming helps too. I have lots of coping strategies really.

12. Do you see any shift in yourself, emotions/actions, when separated from your SO? Sure do. I get quite emotional sometimes if we've been parted for awhile unable to Skype or text each other, and I feel my depression kicking in sometimes too. I try really hard to keep above it though and most times I'm alright. I tend to moap around a lot sometimes whilst I'm waiting for him to get online or something. I'll excessively play video games. Stuff I shouldn't really do, but can't really help myself.

13. Is it worth it? Of course. I've found my soulmate and I would rather not be here than be in a world where he doesn't exist.