Difficulties...Need advice

[SouthernnBelle19]

It's been almost 6 months since I've seen my boyfriend.We normally see each other as often as 2 to 3 months for a weekend and sometimes for a week if his work will let him. But his work schedule has been so busy for the last 6 months, we've barely had time to even communicate much. It's really difficult. I have school and work(whenever needed since I'm a Sub in a cafeteria) but it's not near as bad and tiring as his...But it just hurts me sometimes because I'm always the one to make the effort to talk. Not him. I understand he is tired but how do you expect a LDR to survive with little to no communication? He calls me and of course I answer,even if I'm asleep. But if I want to talk and I call him, he never answers and doesn't call back. I don't really know what to think because he always has a pretty good explaination. But I still get worried at times.. I don't know....Am I over thinking things? Any advice would be great.

[katylynnlee]

Well, I'm going to state the obvious and a lot of people will probably ask, have you talked to him about how you're feeling? Sometimes (it's pretty common on this site), guys don't realize they're being neglectful of your communication needs or that you're even upset. They get busy doing their own things, and must think that talking very little is okay. I've gone through the same thing, and it bothered me a lot. What bothered me more was sitting around waiting for him to call, because I'd slowly feel more and more horrible. I'm trying to stay busy now, instead of getting upset. You're definitely not over-reacting though, it's completely normal. I would just recommend talking to him, maybe making a compromise where you talk before bed, or planning "dates" where you spend time together. Even try talking about when you might be able to visit each other again, what you'll do, etc.

In between talking, keep busy and do your own thing, so it doesn't seem like such a long time. Good luck!

[Amaria]

That happend to me last month. He started with avoiding to reply my calls, and when i have asked him about it, he just answered that he was busy with work, college classes, tired, went to bed early........
And we both have smart phones. If he doesn`t want to find time for a call or texting you, that means only once........he is ready to break up with you.

[lala]

hmm I would not say that it says that he will break up with her just because of less contact. None of us know what is going in his mind..
Few months ago my SO started also to have less contact with me and it took him days to respond on my messages.. he also told me that he is busy with work and helping his family..well I told him that I can't do LD if he can't find 2min a day to text me..and that we can not hold on our memories fo a year without having contact.. I think he had to fight with himself a lot. He didn't wan t to loose me but on the other hand didn't know how to deal with LD. But with time he learned and the communication got much better. Some days we have no contact and on some days we chat for 2-3 hours or through the whole day. It depends on soo many factors like the mood,time,schedule...

just let him know how you feel and tell him that you would wish having more contact.

[Softy]

As some others said, talk to him about how you feel.
Maybe he just doesn't know how important it is for you.
We often hope that men could read our minds or know how we feel without telling, but reality is :P doesn't work that way.

So before goin all panicky, just talk to him

cheers

[SouthernnBelle19]

Thank y'all for your input. I have tried to talk to him about how I feel and it's like he understands me and he changes for a little while but then he gets back into his old ways...I mean I understand he is busy and by the time he gets off work he is tired but a text saying I love you but I'm tired and I'll try to talk to you tomorrow only takes like 2 seconds...But thank you guys again for your input and I'll try to bring it up again.(:

[Amaria]

What kind of answers do you get from him when you ask about less comunications? I know that he was on the phone for hours, but he answers on my messagess 5 hours later. He always has his phone with him, and i do not send him messagess when he is at work, and i was wondering why is so difficult for him, it takes only couple of minutes. So i started to asking him about it, why we don`t have daily communication, like we had before or at least every second day, and he gets mad every time i do it. We communicate now like once, or twice a week.