I know he's busy but...

[BlackRoseOpal]

...it's been a week since I've seen or heard a sign of him (other than some photo album of him at an art festival on FB). The last time we talked it was probably a maximum of about half a dozen text before he said he had to go, didn't say for what (he never does) which normally doesn't bother me, but we almost literally never talk anymore...no scratch that. HE never talks to ME anymore.

I haven't been pestery with my messages; it's normally a "hey there" or "hey how are you?" but I don't even get anything back. ANYTHING.

I'm just starting to feel kind of hopeless about this relationship. I feel like I'm putting more effort into it than he is...

Am I just being paranoid?

[lonelyinlove]

I personally don't think you're paranoid. It doesn't take much to send a text or call just to say hi. The biggest and most important factor in a LDR to me is communication && if its only one person in the relationship trying to do so, it's not much of a relationship.....

[Phantomrose]

I also believe that communication is very important in an LDR, and that you are not being paranoid. Can you call his phone? If you can, have you tried calling his phone, and see if you can talk about how you feel?

[alesitag]

What's going on with guys in LDRs these days??? I've seen so many posts on guys not replying to messages or not taking time off from their busy lives to talk to their SOs...

Anyway, what can I say to you?? I might sound like an old record played over and over again, but tell him what you need!!! Talk to him about your lack of communication and see what he's got to say. Ask him for time to work on your relationship because this is not a one way street, not even the typical "50-50"... You both need to be 110% in it to make it work!

Good luck to you and if you need to talk you can always PM me

[temporaryuser]

if he is on FB, has a cell phone and a computer, there is no reason for him not to communicate with you. You two are in the same time zone, only a few states apart.
I say you call him out on it. You are going to have to be prepared for his answer. For some guys its easier to just walk away without discussing it, being ldr, makes that easier on them. yes, its a cop out, and being a chicken shit. But, it could be that he is truly busy and doesnt realize he hasnt talked to you. but you will never know if you dont ask.

[lademoiselle]

No, you aren't being paranoid at all. I agree with the others, you have to speak to him - try calling his phone as Phantomrose suggested, I'd say it's easier to neglect answering a text than it is to ignore your phone. Until you've had a chance to talk I think you should hope for the best but prepare for the worst; there could be a perfectly reasonable explanation for his silence, but then again... either way you won't know until you ask. Wishing you all the very best with this!

[lyonsgirl]

i have to agree with everyone else. call that boy. email me if you want to talk.

[Moon]

You're not being paranoid. Busy or not, if the relationship is a priority, you'll find at least a few minutes in the week to talk. Unless there is some extraordinary circumstance, there's no reason for the way he's taking you for granted, and I think it's time to let him know that.

[Softy]

Well yes communication is the key,we all know this aye~
But one week isn't too long, maybe he's just busy or preoccupied with something he doesn't want to bother you with?
I don't want to excuse him, just don't want you to panic of feel bad if it's prolly nothing, know what i mean?
Just make sure he knows you miss talking to him, maybe it will get all better shortly~!
Sometimes we tend to worry too much, happens

cheers

[Biddlybiddlybombop]

Well yes communication is the key,we all know this aye~
But one week isn't too long, maybe he's just busy or preoccupied with something he doesn't want to bother you with?
I don't want to excuse him, just don't want you to panic of feel bad if it's prolly nothing, know what i mean?
Just make sure he knows you miss talking to him, maybe it will get all better shortly~!
Sometimes we tend to worry too much, happens

cheers

I agree, but when you don't know where your SO is or when they'll be back... it's so easy to panic. I also have to say, my SO can also go missing for a while and not tell me where he went, so I ask him about it. It's not because I don't trust him, but there's no reason to breed mistrust, and going AWOL for a while doesn't exactly help that. And LDRs - we all know that trust and reliability are such massive needs to make LDRs work.

I guess what I would say is that it's probably not even close to as bad as you think it is, but that's not going to stop you worrying. If it's something legit, like his computer broke, he can't pay his phone contract, whatever, you have to let it go. If it's just laziness, then you need to have a serious chat with this guy about what your expectations are out of this relationship.

[LoveJ]

...it's been a week since I've seen or heard a sign of him (other than some photo album of him at an art festival on FB). The last time we talked it was probably a maximum of about half a dozen text before he said he had to go, didn't say for what (he never does) which normally doesn't bother me, but we almost literally never talk anymore...no scratch that. HE never talks to ME anymore.

I haven't been pestery with my messages; it's normally a "hey there" or "hey how are you?" but I don't even get anything back. ANYTHING.

I'm just starting to feel kind of hopeless about this relationship. I feel like I'm putting more effort into it than he is...

Am I just being paranoid?

No, that's not paranoia, that's him being a jerk. It doesn't take a lot of effort to respond to a "Hey, how are ya" text, but he can't be bothered to. If he doesn't think he needs to text you or keep in touch when you two are in a relationship, you're definitely putting in more effort than he is, and that isn't a healthy relationship. It might be time for a good talk with him (if you can get him to answer you - if he doesn't, there's your answer) about what's going on and why he isn't talking.

I hate to "go there" but what it seems like, if he's not talking to you and keeping you hanging by a very loose string, he's holding you as a backup for something else he has going on. I know that sounds awful, but I can't think of why else he'd be hanging on so loosely, and either not investing more, or not ending it if he was finished.