Going home tomorrow.

[CandiCandi]

I am going home tomorrow. I have been in Wisconsin with my boyfriend for the past week. I arrived here on Monday and will leave this Monday. We have been trying to math out how long it's going to take for us to close the distance. I have to be out of my house by November. I live with my parents, who are living in my grandparent's house and my grandparents want to sell the property. Luckily, my boyfriend just got a new job a week or two ago. I want to aim for coming back here by July-August. Right now, I am sitting in the hotel room (we wanted to stay here for two reasons - one, he lives with his brother and his brother's girlfriend, I was told I couldn't stay, although I never even asked. Two, we wanted the privacy) waiting for him to get off work. He told me before he left to try to have fun today and gave me some things to do. Right now, I am kind of calm, but I know it's only minutes before I sink down into "When's the next time I get to see him?" woe. I have a lot of faith in him and saving money at this point. We've agreed to work together on saving money and what the common goal should be. The journey TO Wisconsin was interesting. The journey FROM Wisconsin - well, I think it might drain me.

I am worried about crying on the bus back home. When I last saw him in February, I cried a lot at home, but this time is different, being that I'm the one hopping on the bus this time. I don't want to cry in front of people and have several questions about what's wrong with me. Anyways, not really looking for advice, but just need to vent that I am dreading our goodbyes tomorrow afternoon.

Usually, when I travel, I am calling my family, home sick to death. This has been an exception. Even though, on other occasions of traveling, I got home sick, from when I was a kid, I never felt at "home". It was more so, the family and the cats that I missed. This time, THIS feels more like home. This is the first time I have traveled and not wanted to turn around. I don't want to say goodbye to him at all. I know it's temporary, but when I go home, he's not going to be on the other side of the bed when I go to bed and wake up. He tries to wake me up in such cute ways and I am going to miss it these next few months before we are reunited... and everything about him. Just needed to vent how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend. I am going to try to enjoy tonight with him and I do not leave on the bus until 1:45 so we will have some of the day together. The only thing I know that will make me feel better when I go home is working really hard for the money necessary for us to close this distance.

[lonelyinlove]

Good luck! & enjoy the rest of the time u guys have together....Im sure yall will see each other again soon....

[CandiCandi]

Thank you. I hope so. I have a lot of faith in both of our saving powers so when they're combined, it should prove productive. I got him a Pepsi to come home to and wrote a sweet note in a book I got of his. I wanted to have another surprise waiting for him when he gets home, but I am cutting it kind of short, because he should be here any minute now. Again, thank you for the positivity.

[lonelyinlove]

No problem! I'm always happy to help. We're all in this together....

[redapple]

I worry load about crying in public so youre not alone on that one!! Try and keep smiling, i know it must be hard but think of the positives and try and see him again as soon as possible. Best of luck to you, when my SO leaves ill be crying my eyes out so dont feel embarrassed if you do find yourself sat on a bus crying your heart out, im sure you wont be the first or last

[one-more-reason]

don't be too embarrassed about crying in public, when I had to leave my SO the first time I didn't even know IF I would see him again, let alone when. I ended up being the last person boarding my flight because we kept having one last hug, one last kiss, I was such a wreck when I got on the plane, but nobody every said anything to me, they were very respectful.

on our second visit when he left I couldn't go very far into the airport with him since he had to go through security. he actually said it was good that we said goodbye first, so that we got all our crying out before we had to be in contact with too many other people. so if you're really worried about crying in public, maybe go somewhere private to say your goodbyes, even if it's a park that's a block away from the bus station or something. just somewhere where you won't be too embarrassed where you can cry and say goodbye properly. once he leaves you can get yourself under control before getting on the bus. I think it's always harder being with them until the very last second because then you're guaranteed to cry. saying goodbye even just a half hour early and having time completely alone to gather yourself might be helpful.

stay strong, good luck!

[Softy]

You are not alone sweetheart~! trust me~!
1st time when my bf left to go back to Tx, in my head I was like 'I'm not gonna cry, I'm not gonna cry,I'm not gonna cry!'.
But as he left on the shuttle to go to the airport (I couldn't go, I had to run to work)....
I smiled until the shuttle left, then as I started to walk away I started crying like a 5 yrs old ^_^

And when he comes back here I will go pick him up.
I totally know that no matter I try to hold it, I'll cry a ton hehehe~!

And well, as for the 'not knowing when u'll be together again'.
I'm in a similar position, I don't know exactly when but we are both trying hard to make it happen.

Just believe and be strong

cheers <3

[lala]

How are you feeling sweety??
Last year when I left my SO I hold back my tears.. I promissed him not to cry..and there were also other people so I stayed strong..but as soon as I got in the plane and checked my phone and saw that he wrote I start crying... thank god there were just women next to me lol they said nothing and later we had a talk and I explained my situation to them.
But this summer I will have to visit him again,as he can't come.. and this time will be much harder!! Just thinking about it make my tears come immidiately. I'm, sure I'll be wreck
if you need talking to someone feel free to message me!!

[CandiCandi]

Thank you guys. I am home in Texas now. Well, when we said our goodbyes, we discussed closing the distance. We've agreed that July is the latest, June is the soonest. We are definitely closing this distance this summer. I will definitely be home for May which kind of sucks because our one year anniversary is on the eleventh. But you know what? I think we love each other enough to make the most of it, no matter how far apart or how much time we have in between our next visit. Something interesting happened at the bus station while we were waiting for my bus. I asked him to write me a letter to me in a notebook my grandma gave me. He's an artist, so he drew a picture too. I purposely asked him not to show me so that I had something to read on the bus. Here's where it gets interesting. I took a picture of us holding hands. Then, he said "I kind of want you to look at the letter now. I drew something in it. At least, look at that part." So, he covered up the letter, but did not cover up the drawing. It was of our hands. We had the same idea, in the same moment. We have a lot of moments like this, but it was like "woah". Kind of comforting "You're definitely meant to be and on the same wavelength" moment. The bus ride home was interesting to say the least. In the morning when we hit Tulsa, Oklahoma, I felt so weird not waking up next to my boyfriend in the hotel room. When I woke up this morning, I felt sick to my stomach that he was not on the other side of me.

The same sickness and sadness came over me when he left Texas and I know it will last me probably a good two weeks, BUT...I am feeling a little better knowing that after a year of being together come the 11th, we are about to close the distance this summer and no less, close to my birthday!