need your advice friends!

[lala]

as I don't have that many friends I can't ask anyone for advice.. I could my best friend but she was never in this situation I am, so I guess you guys could help me the best (hope I don't bother you with that...)

so as I already wrote in the "children" thread, I'm almost 24... many of my friends getting engaged or married,having babies or moving together with their bf.. I feel like I'm still a "child", living at home and not being independent. My studies suck and I can't stand my University..
In addition my SO lives on the other side of the world and hasn't finished his studies too but at the moment got a new job and is working full time, so he doesn't know when he will get his degree.. that is making our situation not better. He promissed me to come to Europe this summer, but now with the new job he can't, so I'll have to visit him. I know we are both young and haven't spent that much time together (last year 3,5 months; and this year will probably 6 weeks). I will finish my studies probably next year in July or October and have to work (to save some money to be able to move) till January cause in February I would have to start working for 1,5 years to get my full degree.and thaaaaat means I will be around 26/27 years.. I'm sure he won't propose this summer.. and wait till I finish school or well wait till he is ready to marry.. but I don't think that I can continue with LD for another 3 years and not being sure if I would get married. Moreover I won't be able to visit him next year and him working fulltime and just having 2 weeks vacation.. I'm afraid that I'm holding on us soo strong and on the end end up as an 27 years old with a broken heart. You have to know that I'm a person who doesn't fall in love so fast.. but I would love having a family before I'm getting 30.. uuugh sorry guys, I'm just feeling anxious!! On the other hand I don't want to pressure him to marry me lol and being independent on him cause I won't be able to work there in my profession... it's a dilema for me.. any advice??

[temporaryuser]

what are you going to school for? Why would you not be able to work in your profession where he lives?
Have you two talked about closing the distance in the past? Who would move to whom? Have you ever talked of marriage? If you are not comfortable with the distance for the amount of time it is going to take you to finish your studies, then you have some tough choices to make. You are taking a chance holding on to something that may never happen. If you dont even see each other for the next year, is your communication strong enough to pull you thru it? On the other hand, If you both have very strong feelings for each other, you can figure out a way to make it work. But you are going to have to be honest with yourself, and with each other. Dont hold on to this just because you hope it may work out.

[lala]

what are you going to school for? Why would you not be able to work in your profession where he lives?
Have you two talked about closing the distance in the past? Who would move to whom? Have you ever talked of marriage? If you are not comfortable with the distance for the amount of time it is going to take you to finish your studies, then you have some tough choices to make. You are taking a chance holding on to something that may never happen. If you dont even see each other for the next year, is your communication strong enough to pull you thru it? On the other hand, If you both have very strong feelings for each other, you can figure out a way to make it work. But you are going to have to be honest with yourself, and with each other. Dont hold on to this just because you hope it may work out.

I'm studying to become a secondary school teacher.. I will need my full degree and then I would have to transfer my credits (which is really difficult) and then I would have to continue to study there..but it would cost a lot :-(
we haven't talked about marriage or closing the distance as we just met last year, spent 3,5 months together and weren't sure when we would see eachother again.. so I guess we will maybe have this talk this summer... but as he hasn't finished his studies and me having no money, I'm sure he would want mw to finish my school first..
our communication could be better..as he is always busy and we have 8 hours time difference... like I said this year was really hard for me but I got through.. I don't want to give up on him as he means too much to me.. but I can't also go through three more years -.-

[Biddlybiddlybombop]

I think you definitely need to talk to your SO about closing the distance and what your options are. I'd like to make a point though. Closing the distance won't prevent you from getting your heart broken. You might end up surviving the distance, living together, hating each other after a year, and being heart broken aged 31. I think something we lose sight of, as people in LDRs, is that there are other issues besides distance that can rock our relationships. I don't want to make you worry about your relationship, but I would like to point out that closing the distance is the FIRST hurdle.
I want to also ask - are you pinning your hopes on THIS relationship because you want a family before you're 30?
I understand where you're coming from with the "I can't go through three more years". I'm in a similar situation. What I've been doing is thinking really really hard about what it is that is important to me, and what I want. I think you probably need to do a similar evaluation. Obviously, like has been said already, you should talk to your SO about this, because of course he deserves a say in what happens concerning your relationship.
You have some very difficult decisions ahead of you. The way I see it, there are three things causing you tension. Wanting to have a family, still needing to be in school, and your relationship. And they're bloody difficult ones to juggle.

[lala]

I think you definitely need to talk to your SO about closing the distance and what your options are. I'd like to make a point though. Closing the distance won't prevent you from getting your heart broken. You might end up surviving the distance, living together, hating each other after a year, and being heart broken aged 31. I think something we lose sight of, as people in LDRs, is that there are other issues besides distance that can rock our relationships. I don't want to make you worry about your relationship, but I would like to point out that closing the distance is the FIRST hurdle.
I want to also ask - are you pinning your hopes on THIS relationship because you want a family before you're 30?
I understand where you're coming from with the "I can't go through three more years". I'm in a similar situation. What I've been doing is thinking really really hard about what it is that is important to me, and what I want. I think you probably need to do a similar evaluation. Obviously, like has been said already, you should talk to your SO about this, because of course he deserves a say in what happens concerning your relationship.
You have some very difficult decisions ahead of you. The way I see it, there are three things causing you tension. Wanting to have a family, still needing to be in school, and your relationship. And they're bloody difficult ones to juggle.

yes exactely, I can never be sure if my relationship will last for a lifetime.. so it would be good to finish school first to have a security. But the point is that I'm getting older and have a wish to get married.. with him? yes one day!but it seems as he is not ready.. I think we'll se what happens this summer.. and I know I will have to talk to him about it and I am afraid of it!
If I'm pinning my hopes on this relationship? To be honest yes. I love his family and him. I never had such feeling for someone.. and I can see me having a family with him one day. So I want to know if he feels the same.. he is more a spontaneous person who has not a "real" plan, so I'm afraid that he will need alot time to realize what he actually wants..