Crazy

[sagittariusgirl89]

I feel like a wreck!

John just texted me randomally saying he feels dark inside. He isnt happy with his life. He asked me why do we always have to talk on the phone everyday. I told him its all we have right now. He told me he wants to go on a small vacation and we cant talkt here....though I know he has a reception there.

I think I have to break up with john...i always feel like im making him miserable and Ima lways missing him...

[Bluestars]

I am not really sure what to say about your situation...You just spent the past weekend together if I am correct, but sometimes after visits a person needs some time to himself/herself. From reading your previous posts, I do not think you are "too attached" because you cry when you two part, but rather you might need to work on some other things like becoming more independent. Maybe he just feels stressed that you demand so much of him? It sounds like he wants a little space, so if you want to continue with your relationship, you should probably give that to him. Prove to him that you can be happy on your own, and let him come to you when he wants to talk. That is probably the best advice that I can give :/ I know it will be hard, but if you try hard enough you can change yourself for the better.

[threecheers9980]

I don't think you need to break up with him. It's possible that he just needs a little space. Joe and I used to talk on the phone everyday, in addition to talking online every night. He started to get very cranky an stressed because he felt like he didn't have enough time to himself and we started fighting almost everyday. We've stopped talking on the phone everyday and even take off days, where we try not to talk at all. (Sometimes it works, sometimes, it doesn't, lol.) It was hard at first to give him that space but I soon realized a couple things: 1) If I really just miss him too much and really need to talk to him, I can still call him. I try not to call him, but sometimes I can't help it. And 2) It gave me time to pursue things that interest me that don't interest him. Of course, I miss Joe like all the time, but we're both happier with off days. He's happy to have time to himself and I'm happy that we don't fight that much anymore.

[Inga]

I agree with what Bluestars and threecheers said: give him some space. It doesnt mean you will love eachother any less if you talk less. Better, it probably means you love him enough to give him what he needs. I know me and my SO have been through this, and we both feel better if there is no "must" to talk eveyday. We used to skype everynight, but that became so stressful, we hardly had time to do anything else. So now, we talk whenever we do, no stress and no pressure. We end up still talking a lot, but a bit on the phone, or msn during the day. We are more flexible and that gives us space to keep our own life going. And when we do talk long, we have more to talk about which is more fun! I think it will be very good to give him some space and let him breathe a bit. I'm sure he'll miss you and wants to talk to you soon again. And in the mean time, it might be good for you to get a bit more independent and try to do your own thing as well.
Take care!

[sagittariusgirl89]

Thanks for the replies...Ive been doing some thinking about giving him some space, and I realized that the reason why Its so hard is that im insecure. Im worried if I give him space he will grow apart from me and that he will cheat or just take me for granted and not say thank you. This morning has been rough. I just get so tired of crying and feeling like my life is the worst in the entire world...ugh.

[Inga]

I understand that as well. I can get very insecure and emotional at times, and when a period of intese contact is followed by a period of less contact, I get the same doubts. Even though I know it is good for us, for her and for me, I can still get upset and feel like taken for granted, usually because I still expect more than I should or we agreed upon. It always takes a bit of adjustment, and then I roll into the less contact mode. I know my SO still loves me just as much, and usually she will text me all these sweet things, so I get comforted and comfirmation, and I need that. I know she needs space sometimes, it makes her happier and love and miss me more.
You should talk to your boyfriend about your worries, tell him you are insecure and you need some comfirmation. Let him tell you what he needs and I am sure you two can work something out. It will take a bit of effort and courage, but I am sure you will both benefit from it, and your relationship as well.