Not sure how to contain myself this time

[purplebritt22]

My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship together for 2 1/2 years, 6 1/2 weeks of which we have actually been together in person. We met online Dec. 2007 and have been together 3 times (May 2009 for 1 1/2 weeks, Dec. 2009 for 2 1/2 weeks, and May 2010 for 2 1/2 weeks).
Well...he left early this morning. I have been dreading this day since last Monday, which he had to tell me numerous times to not think about it and just take in the time we had together. I know he was was right, but I just don't deal well with separation- at all. Anyway, I cried in his arms for hours last night, dropped him off at the airport and cried as he walked away, and have been crying ever since. My head is splitting and my eyes sting.
Although people say the separation gets easier the more it happens, but I don't believe that at all. This seems to be the hardest one yet. I am trying to keep myself busy, but it kills me to see everything around me that reminds me of him. I don't know when will be the next time I see him again; if I save enough maybe I can get a ticket to go see him in August, but probably not until December.

I don't really know how to pull myself together. I feel so alone, like he has gone back to living his life and I am here trying to figure out what to do. This sucks.



We have been together 2 1/2 years

[ntenzer]

Aww I'm really sorry!! I know how you feel - you would think we would be used to it by now, right? Everyone around me when I'm upset when my SO leaves always assumes I'll just go right back to being happy but that doesn't happen. Give it a few days though and you'll find that you'll get back to normal and once that happens, the days will fly by! Just remember that you two love each other and nothing will change while you're apart!

[agentholli]

I am very sorry. I haven't experience this with my bf..but I dread it when I think about it.
I hear that time will help to heal it...i hope you feel better soon

[maja]

:/ i was in that exact same situation a week ago and just like you, i thought i couldnt cope with it this time, but afterall im quite well now, i only cry at night and thatll be better in a few days aswell, at least thats what its like usually....cheer up a bit and if i were you, i would try removing all of the stuff that reminds you of him, bedsheets, his towels, etc etc and clean up a bit, that always helps me, even though its hard at the beginning, but makes things a lot easier in the end (for me at least). And try doing fuun stuff with ur friends, so you get to realise that life can be fun even when hes gone
hope you feel better soon!

[Inga]

I know what you mean. For me the seperation becomes more difficult but also more common everytime. We've been through it several times, so I know what feelings to expect, I know I will be in a form of depression and pain for about a week... That part becomes in some ways easier, because I know how this separation works. But the missing and the emptiness I feel becomes worse everytime... Which I take as a sign that our connection is becomming stronger. Just give yourself some time, take it easy and try to pick up your own life bit by bit. Like Maja said, I usually feel like cleaning up after I drop her off. The only thing i dont clean is the bed, cause i want her scent for at least one more night. Somehow cleaning my place makes it easier to adapt to being by myself again. Usually I don't feel like doing much for about a week, maybe see my family just to have some company. After that week I slowely get back into my daily rhythm and we get back into our long distance rhythm. And then I try to occupy myself with whatever, do fun things even if I dont really feel like it.

Hope you feel better soon!

[Swederica]

I'm sorry that you have to go through that :'(

Best of luck with recovering! I haven't gone through the same thing yet, so i can't possibly know the pain.