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    What have I done?

    Alright so turns out my family is a serial LDR dater?

    My older sister is 27 and has been in a LDR for around a year now. I've been for a little more than that.

    ...but now my sister is in one too, my parents don't know. But my sister is only 14 (since 4 days ago). Although I do not think she lasts long...well, I did not really want that for her. I feel this might become a family problem since my mother is actually against LDRs and we are already in a harsh family situation at the moment because my mother is feeling we are not the daughters she planned us to be. I am really hoping my little sister either waits years to tell mom the truth or she breaks up soon. I feel like a horrible bitch for wishing that. :/

    I had not really realized my big sis was in an LDR because when she left for a year, at first she had broken up. I started out with my SO during that time and then my sister came back with hers, so I was actually the first to go LD. I don't know... I just did not want this for her. And I am starting to feel uncomfortable about it. First because I know my mother will blame it on me because she warned me that she did not want my sisters to follow my "bad example". She repeated that on and on when my SO moved. So I kind of feel it *is* partly my fault... specially since I know my little sis looks up to me a lot.

    I won't make her break up nor I'll break up because of this...but I'm just worried of what might become family life, specially to me, if my mother finds out about my sister. I had a very hard time convincing my mother that my relationship was not wrong and that nothing would happen to my sisters...and now this happens. If she finds out she'll bring Hell over me...again.

    I know I sound a lot like a little immature girl in her 15 years of age who is afraid her mother scolds her... but as I said, my family situation is harsh enough already with my mom's disappointment over all of us.

    #2
    I know what a burden it can be to be "guilty" of this particular situation, but seriously, both of your sisters are independent individuals (it doesnt matter what age are they) who make their own decisions, you just happen to be the one who got into it first. Youre not forcing anyone to do anything... Maybe they felt encouraged by how you make your LDR work but again, what were you supposed to do? Rant about how bad it is to be in this kind of relationship? Break uo eith your SO over some irrational prejudice?

    I dont know why your mother see being in a LDR as a bad example or how can it make you a bad role model for your little sister, when it actually can show her how to properly communicate within a relationship (CD or LD) and she can learn so many things other than that (being faithful, honest, open, etc). The down side would be she's too young and you may not know whos on the other side of this relationship if she met her SO online, but it can be solved easily by asking the guy to put on his webcam, talk to his mom and things like that... Might sound a bit over the top, but it is a minor we're talking about.

    I suggest you talk to your sister about the pros and cons abd yhe do's and dont's (mostly tips to have a safe online experience if it happens to be the case) of a LDR, and be there to support her. Keep an eye on her and her SO and explain why it might be better to keep things at a "lovong friends" level until they both are a bit more mature.

    You know you can always PM me and if you feel like it and since we're in thd same city, we can have a cup of coffee or a glass of iced tea and talk about this.

    ---------- Post added at 10:39 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:36 PM ----------

    Im sorry about the typos... Im on my ipod and my autocorrect doesnt seem to work lol!!!

    “Laughing like children, living like lovers, rolling like thunder under the covers”

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      #3
      I guess you are right... I had a talk with my SO about this and he said something similar to you, that well my sisters are independent from me. This cannot affect my relationship, less even at this point. I won't break up and I do not even consider it, less even for things that are not my business in a way. Also at this point it is common to have an LDR at some point in your life, with globalization, internet, etc.

      I think I'll try to give some advice to my sister, perhaps be there for her if things go harsh. I think it is the best I can do, specially if she has trusted this secret only to me.

      *sigh*... I think it was more like a shock of "my sister has a boyfriend". I'm feeling calm now...thanks

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        #4
        Well 1st of all this:

        my mother is feeling we are not the daughters she planned us to be.
        This is something I also can relate to, but you should not apply that burden on you.
        We are who we are and no matter how parents want their children to succeed, we make our own path.
        It may be not perfect but it's ours right

        And well, yes LDR are more common and it's normal with the internet and how fast information travel and how accessible it is.
        And if you go back like about 100 years ago, ppl dated ppl in their towns only.
        Most of the time it was someone who knew someone who was a friend of the family yadda yadda.
        A lot of arrange married as well, and ppl were not happier.

        We have the opportunity to not limit ourselves to only our town, which is awesome.

        And about your sisters, no matter how protective you are, they will fall for who the fall for.
        We don't 'choose' a LDR, we just fall for someone

        Cheers
        ♡ ~~~~ 'When you find something worth fighting for, you never give up' ~~~~ ♡

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          #5
          Thanks, I am feeling better now because my sister did end up telling my mother about it. My mother did tell me she was "taking me as a role model" by choosing to have an "internet relationship" as she calls them despectively. But things went better than expected because it seems mom is more worried about my sister having a relationship at this age more than for the long distance factor.

          I wonder what is going to happen now, at least my sister caught my mother in a good mood and she did not get as angry as she did when I told her about my relationship.

          I also believe it is awesome that we are not limitted to our town people nowadays! I wouldn't like to be Mrs. Yadda yadda :P

          Thanks for your reply, it made me smile <3

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            #6
            aaah I feel you!
            I'm 24 and never had a bf,cause where I'm living there are just jerks.. I didn't plan to fall in love with this guy but it happened and I'm not breaking up with him because of my parents.
            When I was younger I did everything what they wanted. I was the best in my class always good in sport and just a good child. Now that I want something for myself my parents let me think I'm making mistakes and changed to negative. But it's just that I'm a grown up now who is making her own decissions and they need to respect that. Parents should always wish for their children to be happy no matter what.

            As for the role model thing. younger sibling should look up to their older ones but not in every side of their life. If it's about morals or education alright..but still everyone is different and has different wishes and plans.

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