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Need alittle advice and support!

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    Need alittle advice and support!

    My SO and I have been together since September of 2011- so our relationship is still alittle fresh. He lives 12 hours away and sometimes he can work some crazy hours. The past week of so he has been alittle distant and I dont know if it is because of work or if he just doesnt want to talk. On nights that he doesnt call, he will still play drawsomething on his phone with me and this makes me super mad; because in the back of my mind if he has time to play drawsomething with me then he should have time to pick up a phone and call me or text me. So am I just over reacting or is there something going on that I dont see...also I am leaving on Saturday to spend a week with him and with him being distant this past week it makes me alittle worried! Advice..Support...Any form of help would be nice

    #2
    I wouldn't be worried about anything yet, as you said he has been working a lot so maybe he is just worn out. Also, if it just drives you insane just talk to him about it

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      #3
      You can cut him a little slack...I don't think you have anything to be mad about. It's possible that the days he doesn't call/text are the days that his work schedule is particularly crazy, and he just doesn't feel up to engaging in conversation. But playing a round or two of drawsomething can be a stress-free, relaxing activity after a long day at work - and it's still a small way for him to connect to you. Maybe things at his job have just been particularly rough lately and he needs a little space. If there's been a significant drop in communication, or if he's actively avoiding your efforts to talk to him, I think you should discuss it with him (in a non-acussatory way) - just say that you've noticed he hasn't been calling/texting as much as he used to, and you want to know if he's okay, or if there's something going on.

      You can tell him that you miss talking to him when he doesn't call - but don't put any undue pressure on him to call you all the time or anything. I think we all go through stages of motivation about communicating with our SOs; sometimes you want to hear their voice 24/7, and other times you just need to step back for a little while. Just talk to him kindly about it, and I'm sure everything will be fine.

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        #4
        There hasnt been a signigicant drop in communication at all, just this week has been unusual because I am so used to talking to him every night when he gets off work. I know that work has been stressful for him lately and he has been having some car problems as well. So i kinda thought that I was getting mad about nothing! I plan on talking to him about it this weekend when I get to see him and spend 7 days with him. We are also planning on talking about closing the distance; which is making me alittle bit more on edge and nervous as to what is going to happen! Thanks so much for your advice and support...it was what i needed!

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          #5
          I wouldn't worry about it. My SO also works a lot and sometimes he just doesn't feel like calling me after work like he normally does. Often he just texts me while playing a video game. xD I have a feeling your SO is kinda the same way. My SO told me that a long day at work just tires him out to where he doesn't want to talk over the phone because he might be cranky or something. As long as how your SO talks to you when communicate is not very different than normal, then I wouldn't pay any mind to it. Now, if he were to be disrespectful while talking with you that would be one thing, but it just sounds like he is tired.

          If you're worried, you can always talk to him about it. Otherwise, no worries and look forward to your visit with him!
          "You will always have my heart, no matter how far we're apart" ~ Jacob

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            #6
            Same thing here. My SO has been having lots of issues at work and personally. We used to talk on the phone at least four days a week but for the past two weeks, it didnt matter how much i insisted i wanted to hear his voice, he just wouldnt let me call. We still talked over MSN but i wanted to hear his voice. It was until this last friday he agreed and i called him... We spent about 30 minutes on the phone and he went from being calmed and cool to burst into tears... Thats why he didnt want me to call, because he was so upset he didnt know how he was going to react to my voice.
            I wouldnt worry, but i'd definitely let him know you notice he hadnt called you as frequently as he used to.

            “Laughing like children, living like lovers, rolling like thunder under the covers”

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              #7
              from your last post It's good to see you're feeling better, AABRCL.

              I know when I'm working a lot my brain is still in 'work mode' and I need a little time to wind down on my own, It's very nice to have some time and space to yourself after a hard time at work and then to talk to your SO after you have recovered a little. Maybe it's just as simple as that?
              Met Online: February 2009
              Feelings grew: January 2011
              First met in person: 4 April - 16 April 2011
              Officially together since: 4th of April 2011
              Second visit: 29 June - 1 August 2011
              Third visit: 28 September - 15 October 2011
              Fourth visit: 19 January - 25 February 2012
              Fifth visit: 24 March - 12 April 2012
              Sixth visit: 2 June - 7 July 2012
              Engaged: 1st of July 2012
              Seventh visit: 27 August - 23 September
              Visa lodged: 5th of November 2012
              Eighth visit: 8 December 2012 - 12 January 2013
              Visa granted: 8th of May 2013
              Hawaii: 19 May - 2 June 2013
              Closed the distance: 16th of July 2013

              Married my Englishman on the 4th of October 2013

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