I don't even know what the problem is

[dorabase93]

so last night, before going to sleep, I ask my SO to have some skype sex. She refused and told me to wait the next day since it was late. The next day, I asked again and she said she didn't want to because she was full(yeah, we can't think anything about it after eating ) and told me to go to sleep and do it after that (I'm 7hours earlier), when I woke up, she then told me that she need a nap and I had to wait more. and after that she (finally) told me that she was too tired and she couldn't do it. I'm pretty upset about it because I was turned down so many times after so much expectation. I told her about that and she turned sad and don't want to talk about it. And then after a short nap, I felt better and asked her to find a solution for that. And now she's busy with her work and wants to concentrate on that. We stayed silent for a few hours now and I don't know where this is going if she doesn't want to talk about it. I don't want to force her into talking with me since we had a fight about it few days ago.
I don't know what our problem really is. Is my sexual desire to high for her? or may be my expectation was too high after those 'laters'? and now she doesn't want to talk about it and just keep working. what in the world can I do now?

[Kristin91]

I think the best thing you can do is ask her what happened or what's going on. If you've have skype sex before I think you deserve an answer of why she's suddenly turning you down. If you haven't had skype sex before, maybe she's a little shy and doesn't want to admit it, or maybe it's something else... Just talk to her, but try not to be accusative because then she'll just get defensive. The point is to try to get her to open up to you, not shut down again.

[LoveJ]

Ok, considering this 'her not giving you Skype sex' is an issue that's been going on for all of, what, 12 hours? I don't think it's anything you need to be worrying about this much. Sometimes people just aren't in the mood, and I hate to be so blunt, but you're going to have to get your testosterone in check a little bit and not lose it every time she says she's got other things on her mind, is tired, etc. If you two never get intimate, that's another issue, but I doubt that's it.

When people have busy lives, or they're upset, or they're exhausted, getting physical can be a tough thing to do because not only do you have to be into it physically, but mentally as well.

There are ways to satisfy yourself that don't involve giving her a hard time and making her feel bad because you need Skype sex righthererightnow. Have a little patience with her, please. And find another outlet for yourself.

[Jazi]

This probably wouldve been better suited to the "adults only" section as it is about skype sex.. but anyways.

sometimes I say "not now" to my boyfriend a few times in a row because it really just doesn't work at the time. Simple as that. It does sound though like you're obsessing over it and we all know how annoying it is when someone constantly asks for something "how bout now? ok.. what about now? now? can we now?" she might just be feeling annoyed that it seems to be all your thinking about. I can completely see where shes coming from if she's feeling annoyed that all you want is sex. Relationships do need a balance of all aspects and sex is just one aspect, although it is a very important one.

it could just be a case of higher sex drive.. and if it is then you need to reach a compromise about maybe doing it by yourself a little more. Although she seems a little more upset about it so I think there is a little more to it than just a difference in sex drive.

How about you approach her with a grown up conversation asking whats going on for her on this subject, why she's feeling annoyed and if you two could come to a compromise because you are feeling a little upset about it too. Communicating is so important even when it comes to sex.

EDIT - I also COMPLETELY agree with LoveJ. I was writing my post when she replied and didn't see it til after.

[Jazi]

Also the fact that you felt the need to post this after 12 hours of her saying no kind of speaks of how focused on it you are, she can probably sense that and is annoyed. Girls don't like it when all their boyfriend can think/talk or want to do is sex. Take a chill pill. I've said no to my BF for a few days in a row. also, us girls have this monthly thing that makes sexual interaction a little uncomfortable/messy.. I know I avoid doing anything for that week.

Just talk to her about it, i'm sure it's nothing to be concerned about

[LoveJ]

Also the fact that you felt the need to post this after 12 hours of her saying no kind of speaks of how focused on it you are, she can probably sense that and is annoyed.

Excellent point. Having someone hound you for sex can be enough of a turn-off by itself that it can take the idea completely off the table. Having a man who is patient during the times where you just feel a little too overwhelmed with someone else to get into Skype sex makes him much more appealing because you know he thinks there's more to what the two of you have than just sex.

[dorabase93]

thanks guys for helping and being blunt I do feel guilty after reading you replies. I should back off a little bit on this. maybe my desire got the better of me back there. I'll find some other time to talk about this after she fully recovers. thanks a lot again