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[alesitag]

Thanks everyone... I wish i could say im ok, but im not... I dont know what to do with myself.

Everytime i saw a thread about a breakup i always wished my time to write one would never come.

He sent me a couple of messages last night, between 1 and 4am, asking if i was ok, Telling me his heart was hurting so much, that he was really sorry for hurting me and he hopes one day i will understand... NO!! I DONT UNDERSTAND!! i dont understand how can he push away a positive influence in his life. But of course, that's his depression talking.

I will try to give us some time... And see where life takes us

[Phantomrose]

Aww I'm sorrry. *hugs*

I agree with everyone else, do not contact him for a few days and allow time for yourself. Take good care of yourself. I really hope you feel better. =/

[carolynred]

I'm so sorry hun for everything that you're going through. *hugs* I've been keeping up with your threads the past day or so, and it breaks my heart at this turn of events. Please just take care of yourself more than anything ok? I hope at some point he will explain everything in more detail, but until then time and space will hopefully bring things into perspective. You know there's that quote when they say if you let something go and it comes back to you its yours forever, or something like that? xD There's always a chance he could come back, you never know. Stay strong!

[elina]

Aah.. I'm so sorry this happened to you. I'm glad you're sticking around, it's a pleasure having you here on the forums.

Take care and stay strong ♥ Maybe, in time, he'll see sense and realise he should never have let you go. *hugs*

[efish1042]

This sounds like what almost happened with me and my SO. I can't imagine how I would be if we actually broke up. You have all of my sympathy and empathy! Many hugs and much love

[alesitag]

I really cannot say how thankful i am for your support.

I've been thinking about it, and though it hurts, it might be for the best. He's a very troubled man, he cannot control his inner demons. He's an amazing person, he's sweet, loving, generous, sensitive, intelligent, and i could go on forever, but i now see why he made this decision... he's an alcoholic. I did not know this when we started dating, he confessed it to me later, although i already had an idea. I love him, but today i talked to my aunt who is an alcoholic in recovery and she made a point "he's no good for you, because you were raised in a troubled home, so you are used to take care of people and being with him will most likely end up in a co-dependent relationship. You're no good for him, because he needs to be with someone who understands the hell he's going through, he needs to be with someone who has been there and knows how to help him."

This had been going through my mind for the last couple of weeks, but i chose to stop thinking about it and keep going. I guess, as usual, he was wiser.

Thanks again... And yeah, i think i'll stick around just for the fun of getting to share your experiences

[TwoThree]

Really sorry to hear that :/ I hope things will work out. Try to do what's best for you and good luck with everything.

[aeiouna]

I am so, so sorry. :-\ I couldn't even imagine going through this. :-( *hug*

[alesitag]

I woke up today at 3:30 am since my sister forgot her key and was outside the house.
Before going back to bed, i took my ipod and checked it for any new messages and there he was, my angel...
He had sent me a message saying he would not cut communication with me (the only thing i asked him actually, so i could still check on him, make sure he's alright, be there when he needs to talk to someone because im one of the few people he's able to fully open up) and that he was having a hard time too.
He was online at the time because he was at work.
I replied to his message saying i knew how hard it is and that i wouldnt insist on going back together with him but id like if we could still be friends. He said hed like that too and we started talking about other things.
That was his last shift at his old job. He'll start on monday night with his new job. We talked about how he felt leaving that place, he wasnt sure it was the best decision, just like he wasnt sure breaking up was the best decision, but i told him thats what he wanted and he should embrace it. He told me he loved me so much he decided to set me free. We talked about mother's day, about a big trial going on back in his town and some other things.
I bought us a pair of LFAD bracelets back in may 1st but we havent gotten them. He knew he was getting a package from me but i never told him what it was. Last night he asked what is on the package and i told him what it is: a chocolate brown, rubber bracelet that says "love knows no distance", we were both sobbing. I sent him a picture of the matching bracelets and we both sobbed again. He thanked me for it and we kept talking about other things... Then it was time for him to sign off and do some housekipping before closing his shift. Like usual, he sent me to bed, nagging me about getting some more sleep, but this time i didnt "fought" him over it. We said our goodbyes and i went back to bed.
Im glad i got to be there for him last night as he said goodbye to his old job and we got to talk like two good friends without any harsh feelings. I guess love IS stronger than anything and we may be able to remain best friends after all.

[redapple]

I really feel for you, you seem to be stuck between a rock and a hard place if you're familiar with the saying. You want to stay with him cos you love him but staying with him will probably bring further pain to both of you as your aunt suggested, but leavin him will also hurt. I think by the sounds of things he has issues that really need professional help, maybe its just not the right time for you two to be together. If you can support him without damaging yourself then I'd suggest that, but try to remember that your health is important too. I'm just saying that it's easy to devote yourself to other people's happiness and end up not feeling so happy yourself. I wish you the best xx

[corrda00]

Its great that you guys are still close friends. Losing a lover is one thing but also losing a friend is worse.

And who knows, maybe he just needs some time. Maybe he needs to get some help. Just try to be there for each other.

[alesitag]

I'm such an emotional wreck right now... I love him to death, I know the wonderful man he is... I can see past his problems and actually see all he's got to offer and all the potential in him, but sadly, he cannot see all that.

I know all I can do right now is give it time, be there for him as a friend and pray for him to find his way back into the light.

[Jazi]

I'm such an emotional wreck right now... I love him to death, I know the wonderful man he is... I can see past his problems and actually see all he's got to offer and all the potential in him, but sadly, he cannot see all that.

I know all I can do right now is give it time, be there for him as a friend and pray for him to find his way back into the light.

I think your probably causing yourself more pain by trying to be his friend.. he doesn't deserve your friendship, it is NOT heroic and protecting you by him ending the relationship.. it just means he doesn't have the strength or guts to see things through and to actually give someone the chance to love him/for him to love someone.. you deserve SO MUCH more than that. Maybe be close friends with him later.. but at this point I think you need to think for YOU and take care of yourself as number one, cut the contact a little and learn to see life/happiness without him.

[BlackRoseOpal]

Oh no sweetie, i'm so sorry! hang in there! all of us are always there if you need a quick message or something! I kind of know a more watered down version of what's going on with you, but I can't imagine what this must feel like. Keep faith and keep heart! <3

[TwoThree]

I think your probably causing yourself more pain by trying to be his friend.. he doesn't deserve your friendship, it is NOT heroic and protecting you by him ending the relationship.. it just means he doesn't have the strength or guts to see things through and to actually give someone the chance to love him/for him to love someone.. you deserve SO MUCH more than that. Maybe be close friends with him later.. but at this point I think you need to think for YOU and take care of yourself as number one, cut the contact a little and learn to see life/happiness without him.

I completely agree with this. You aren't doing yourself any favour by staying in touch right now. It sounds to me like you're just satisfying your urges to be "with" him and ultimately that's not going to help you heal. I know you're worried about him; you still love him and want to be there for him, but it's not your fault you're both in this situation, and you should primarily focus on yourself. Just the two cents of a person who's been there, done that.