Who's fault is it anyways?

[Kiyama]

I'm not exactly sure what my problem is or whether I have a problem at all. Anyways, here it comes. About a month ago, right after my SO had left I broke down. I've recovered more or less and he's been very supportive.
Before he came over, we had a rough month. Maybe a few of you remember. He was super busy at work and we didn't get to speak enough which caused a lot of arguments and left me depressed. A few other bad things had happened in my life like my dad having a heart attack a lot of things added up and I got really bad at coping with the distance.
This hasn't been the case at all recently and I'm happy about it. In fact, I felt like I'm more able to relax and I've become more tolerant in some ways. I've tried to not focus on the negatives and highlight everything that's good in my life. As a result, communication and the time when me and my SO spend talking has improved drastically I also feel better emotionally even though I know I'm not completely fine yet.
However I get days when my new way of coping with things seems to fail like yesterday. I send him a whatsapp message and he didn't even read it until like 1 pm, which kind of annoyed me. He tried to call when I was still out with a friend and I was tired when I got home and he was too busy at work to talk but told me he'd call back in a few minutes. After 20 mins I decided I needed to go to bed and send him a message on Skype. He send one back saying he would have called now and I just replied fine then, to which he wrote whether he was to call or not. I answered now or not at all. I was in bed at that time and already half asleep and not in the mood for writing back and forth. He answered he didn't know because I sounded cranky. Quite right but a reason for him not to call?! I went to sleep then and called him in the morning. He was out at a party dust leaving. When he called me back he was already in bed and tired. When he's tired he gets really quiet. I usually don't mind but today I did. It annoyed me he was fine 30 mins before and have fun at a party but with me he can't get a straight sentence out.
Maybe this sounds like a silly issue to get upset about but I kind of have a not so good day :s
Was I wrong in the way I acted? Is it a good reason for him not to want to talk to me? It kind of hurts me because it gives me the impression he only wants to talk to me when I'm in a good mood. And can I expect him to pull himself together for a few minutes even when he's tired?
Some advice would be great

[Jazi]

I understand you've been having a hard time in your life and it can effect your temper and can make you more sensitive to things.. but if I'm to be totally honest with you - I think you are being quite moody and reading too much into what has happened in the situations you outlined. It sounds more like your timings just haven't overlapped properly in these particular situations.. Nothing wrong with this, we are all very busy people and if you live in different time zones especially it is very hard to co-ordinate timings with each other.

you also don't seem to have much (if any) patience with him in regards to this either, "fine then" and "now or not at all" are also things that would put him off, sometimes when people say things like this the automatic reaction is to give the person some space, He asks if you're sure because He can clearly see in your words you are bothered and its not always clear to the people around us what is wrong. I don't think he doesn't wants to talk to you, I think you are completely misunderstanding his actions because he is being cautious around you - this is probably because he cares about you and doesn't want to add to/make it worse.

talk to him when you're not all riled up with him - have an adult conversation and discuss how you will handle this together - express to him your frustration in a level headed way.. all you can do is talk

but to answer your actual questions -

Was I wrong in the way I acted? no, not exactly.. But I do think you are being a bit hard on him/the situation

Is it a good reason for him not to want to talk to me? I think youve got this part completely wrong - I don't think he doesn't want to talk to you.. some people just don't know how to act around someone when they are annoyed.

And can I expect him to pull himself together for a few minutes even when he's tired? no, you can't expect this. You both need to manage your time better to have time together, you can't be angry for him falling asleep when he is tired.

[Kiyama]

Thanks Jazi for your answer.

You made clear to me what I was suspecting anyway but sometime i guess you need to hear it from another person. Ad I'm glad you don't think there is an actual issue here. I am definitely not in the best mood at the moment and sometimes it's hard for me then to see clearly so before I go on and make things worse it is better to ask for an objective opinion which is exactly what I got so thank you
And I understand completely that that fact I've had a hard time isn't an excuse for being moody. I try not be but sometimes, like in this situation it isn't easy to see that I am.

[Jazi]

Thanks Jazi for your answer.

You made clear to me what I was suspecting anyway but sometime i guess you need to hear it from another person. Ad I'm glad you don't think there is an actual issue here. I am definitely not in the best mood at the moment and sometimes it's hard for me then to see clearly so before I go on and make things worse it is better to ask for an objective opinion which is exactly what I got so thank you
And I understand completely that that fact I've had a hard time isn't an excuse for being moody. I try not be but sometimes, like in this situation it isn't easy to see that I am.

No problem

you know, sometimes I get annoyed/short with my SO for no reason in particular too.. It happens to all of us but I suppose keeping your emotions in check and your communication with him high will help. If I'm in this kind of a mood I just need to talk to him about it and he understands, plus it usually helps me feel better anyway

[efish1042]

Just sounds like you're emotional and having a rough time. A combination of little things adding up to one unhappy lady. I second Jazi. I hope you feel better soon and things smooth over for you

[Kiyama]

Yes and usually it works for me talk to him about things. Sometimes the good communication fails though but your right. Keeping my emotions in check and communication high will definitely help prevent such moments.

Thanks efish1042, in those moments it feels like a big thing but later on you realize you make a big deal out of nothing and to be honest it was really me starting it all with being moody and kind of taking it out on him with snappy comments. But yes I'm sure I'll be getting better. I already feel a lot better than a few weeks ago and the fact, I'm going to visit my SO in two weeks helps too