Theoretical Question About Closing The Distance...

[Jazi]

I didn't mean to make you feel like I was targeting you! I simply know that some people on LFAD get a little heated once someone throws out the "it's a good idea to live together before marriage" card and I also didn't want to risk giving the option to the OP if she doesn't feel living together before marriage is the better option. Was simply trying to make it clear that was pure opinion when I said it, because those are my reasons for going for that visa but I didn't want to sound like a snot.

And I know, right? Nine months sounds like a much nicer window. :/ I wouldn't be so asdfghjkl about it if we got nine months as opposed to three.

didn't feel targeted at all lol. I agree with you on having a good amount of time living together/a lot of trips down before marriage. It is a big commitment. I was trying to say that I agreed with you and that not everybodys situation is the same, international LDRs do mean that sometimes you need to compromise on certain things to end the distance and that people will go for different options, for some it'll for work a working holiday visa and for some it won't... but instead I just sounded defensive lol, sorry about that

[Jazi]

Jazi is right on with her post

For the second move, he came to Australia with me on a fiance visa (and man it was a pain in the ass. These guys want to know when you last shat, I swear.) and now we're applying for his next level of visa, temporary residency.

Thanks . your post is pretty spot on too .

It'll be a lot for you two to move around so much, especially with kids but i respect that you've found a compromise to stay together without giving up your countries/families.

by the way.. do I have your permission to pick your brains (at a later time in PM) about the Prospect marriage visa and the temporary residency? I have many questions

I have to say thanks to the OP for starting this topic, I have found it useful to read through the replies myself, It does always help to know you're not alone in this... it seems so big and daunting and its a nice feeling when you realize it's not as bad as you thought

EDIT -- I have no idea how to quote 2 people in the same post.. sorry for the double post, thought it would just add onto my original post seeing as I posted them so close together.

[notyourexgirlfriend]

Whilst I don't have anything really constructive to say given that my SO lives in the same country and is only a couple of hours behind me, I really admire those of you with partners overseas and how much resolve, tenacity and pure determination you have to make things work. Relocating outside of your country of origin, looking at viable avenues to close that gap. It's nothing short of miraculous as to what I've seen people do. So, to all of you in inter country LDRs I salute you (hugs)

[Secrecy]

Jazi is right on with her post

For those who have successfully went from one country to another to close the distance, how did you come to the conclusion of which one of you would do the moving?
We've both lived in the other's country, and plan not to settle perminantly - rather we're working towards dual citizenship so we never have to worry about stupid visas again.
For our first move, I went to Canada on a working holiday visa. I love WHP, but, for some reason America doesn't give long WH visas, and some countries wont do them with America at all.
For the second move, he came to Australia with me on a fiance visa (and man it was a pain in the ass. These guys want to know when you last shat, I swear.) and now we're applying for his next level of visa, temporary residency.

We tried to decide who would do a perminant move but realised that neither of us are cut out for that. We're not willing to give up our familes and countries for each other. So, instead we decided which country would benifit us more during what stages of our lives. We started with Canada so he could get work experience in his field, moved to Australia to marry and breed, and when I'm done having babies in my home country we will move back to Canada to buy a home as it's far cheaper there. We will stay in Canada for as long as I can stand it - with the end gaol of being back in Australia for our kids to finish high school, because our school system is better.

Like Jazi said, we also looked at what support systems we will have where. We're pretty blessed on both sides of the fence - each time we move we do have people to crash with until we can stand on our feet again. We are going to need a lot of support from the people around us to make this work. Also, we have people in both countries that are willing and able to help us with our children.

How did you manage it, especially with visas and the like?
Canada and Australia are pretty good mates diplomatically. We were lucky. The visa situation is still stressful, expensive and takes many years to complete. Canada is also a lot easier to get into than Australia is. If it were based on visas alone, we'd settle in Canada and never think about this crap again.
Many countries have a defacto/common law spouse sponsorship visa. Gone are the days you needed to actually get married. So that too is worth looking into.

What about work?
He's a VFX artist, and I want to be an author but really I'm just a checkout chick.
Work wise, it's been so much better for him here than in his own country. Yes, our cost of living is sickening (which always makes me laugh at my friends in Ontario who complain about how expensive it is because seriously, they've seen nothing!) but our wages make up for it. Obi is earning nearly three times what he made in Canada doing the same job.
When we discussed which country to live in, Obi was very concerned that we couldn't survive in Sydney (and I had doubts too!) and that our standard of living would be higher if we went with the cheaper country, but for us that hasn't been true at all. I have never lived as well in all my life as we are now. So, when you're looking at your finances, remember to factor in any wage differences, factor in if you'll have to commute to work, think about the kind of tax you will pay. Don't take the numbers at face value.

There is always a way to make it work. Visas make closing the distance feel insurmountable, but it really isn't. Remember that thousands of people have imigrated before us and that if they can do it, we can too.

This was another EXTREMELY helpful post! You guys are all so awesome for providing such wonderful information on all this daunting stuff. It really is helpful to pick the brains of everyone here, even if they're not coming from/going to the United States. It helps to see what visas and laws there are in other countries too, to see if maybe the US has something similar. It's just good to know from real people instead of reading from a website, because not only is it good, personal information, but also really uplifting that yes, indeed, this can work.

I have to say thanks to the OP for starting this topic, I have found it useful to read through the replies myself, It does always help to know you're not alone in this... it seems so big and daunting and its a nice feeling when you realize it's not as bad as you thought

Welcome! That was one of the other reasons why I started this thread too; I figured it would be as much of a help to others as to myself. If anyone has any questions of their own, they can feel free to chip in too. c:

[aeiouna]

Whilst I don't have anything really constructive to say given that my SO lives in the same country and is only a couple of hours behind me, I really admire those of you with partners overseas and how much resolve, tenacity and pure determination you have to make things work. Relocating outside of your country of origin, looking at viable avenues to close that gap. It's nothing short of miraculous as to what I've seen people do. So, to all of you in inter country LDRs I salute you (hugs)

This. My SO is only a state away (for an hour time difference), and that alone has been a headache. Anyone in an international LDR has my utmost respect.

[Zephii]

Jazi - For sure, look me up any time.

For multi-quote, you click the button on the right side of the "reply with quote" button: it's the one that looks like a plus. You press it for every person you want to quote, then hit "reply to thread" and they all appear.