I Have To Work During My SO's Visit, Any Advice?

[Ricky]

As the title says my girlfriend is coming over for a visit this July, she's visiting from Europe to come see me here in Texas, now we only get to see each other once a year and unlike last year where I could spend all day everyday with her this year is different.

I recently got employed at a local grocery store in my home town back in March, I work almost everyday with only one or two days off depending on how my boss sets the schedule for the week. I want to ask for time off so that I can be with her but unfortunately the boss man isn't exactly one that likes to let his employees have time off even if it's just two or three days for something important.

I really hate the idea of leaving my girlfriend all alone at my house after spending $2000 to come visit me and only getting to spend time with her a few hours in the morning or a few hours at night, I've searched countless times over the internet for people that have had to go through this same problem but have come up with nothing so I've decided to post this myself hoping anyone out there can give me some advice. To anyone that reads this what are your advice or comments on this situation?

[marbear31]

I know this might sound simple, but...ask for the time off? Maybe your boss normally doesn't let you, but just explain to him pretty succinctly and politely, and let him know you'd like the time off. Be firm, because seriously, once a year??? No one but the most cold-hearted man would say no! :P

And if not, is there some way she can be with you at work for part of the day? Maybe she can make excuses for little shopping trips. :P

Best of luck, hon!

[snow_girl]

Just cause he doesn't like to give it doesn't mean he won't give the time off. I would ask asap it will be easier to find people to fill your shifts now rather then a week before. My parents are coming in july for two weeks and just had to ask for time off and it went a lot better then I expected. I would talk to your boss and explain the situation and tell him that you would very much appreciate having some days off while she is over. If that fails start talking to other employees and ask if they'd be willing to pick up a shift or two of yours while she is here.
How long have you worked there? My parents had booked their flights before I started my job so I had decided that if I wasn't allowed the time off I would work up until they came giving my notice two weeks before they arrived. To me it is more important to see my family on a trip they booked specifically to see me rather then work at a job I could essentially get anywhere.

[Ricky]

Thanks for the advice, and actually she is planning on making visits to the store to get groceries and only when I'm working so I can help her find what she needs, but other than that I have planned on asking both the head boss and my managers for time off while she's here, but witnessing first hand how they treated a coworker one time because he wanted to spend some extra time with his 1 year old son it kinda places doubt in my mind that they'll let me off so easy even with a good excuse.

[Ricky]

I've worked there for 3 months so far, I had a pretty hard time finding a job so finally I landed a break a few months back. It's more important seeing my girlfriend too instead of going to work but seeing how hard it was to actually find a job in this area and knowing that we'll be needing the money when it's time for her to move down here for good I don't want to lose the job either. Unfortunately as well the guys I work with there are pretty damn lazy too and the one time I needed someone to fill in for me because I was sick they all refused, maybe I'll have better luck next time but I don't wanna place my hope on any of them. You're right though, despite not knowing what might happen it's best if I start asking for the time off now while it's still early instead of waiting till the last minute and really have them on my ass for not bringing this up sooner.

[Rugger]

It can't hurt to ask,but be prepared to work while she's there. Maybe it's not such a big deal for me and my SO because we are closer but the both of us work while the other is visiting. The only two days he has off now are Tuesday and Wednesday, and my two days off are Saturday Sunday, so the other is working while we are there. It's worse for him. He works from 3-midnight . We learned to deal with it. Yes it sucks, but it's better than not seeing your SO at all.

[lala]

haha I'm the same situation as you and your SO. I'm coming to see him after one year being apart and he has this new job and won't have not enough time.. He will ask for a weekend off so we can go to a resort and spend some time alone. You both have to realize that you are grown ups and don't go to school anymore.. It's the most important to see eachother! so enjoy the time you can have..although you will be busy.. would you rather see her one hour a day than not at all? I don't think so

[Shepard-Fowkes]

I'd like to hear some responses to this thread as well. During our visit, I'll be at school most the day. He says he'll be fine on his own and he can go with my mom and help out at my sister's school library where she volunteers or run errands with her. We'll have to come up with more things for him to do while I'm at school. Some ideas we already have, OP,:

-He could make a surprise for when I get home! He could bake something or create something or have something naughty waiting for me.
-We can spend lots of time together on weekends and after school
-We're mostly homebodies, so we'll be absolutely fine with spending most of our time together cuddled up on the couch and watching a movie or doing homework
-He can be awesome and bring me lunch a day or two :P

[lala]

to edit my post:

you have to make plans for the time you have together. That means if you have to work through the day..you could have breakfast together and in the evening when you come home, take a walk with her,watch a movie together, have dinner at home or at a restaurant..(it depends on how long you work).on a day off you should plan something special- show her placed she has never been to, go out with friends, show her your old school (places who are special for you), go to an amusement park, go to cinema, to a club, go swimming,do sports together.. just plan the whole day wih activities you both would like to do. And what the most important is,let her know before she comes that you won't have that much time as you have to work,so she want be disappointed or upset later..

[Jazi]

You both have to realize that you are grown ups and don't go to school anymore.. It's the most important to see eachother! so enjoy the time you can have..although you will be busy.. would you rather see her one hour a day than not at all? I don't think so

totally agree with this ^

Honestly, in "the real world" when you end the distance.. you'll have to go to work and see each other around work, think of it as a mini test run for "real life". My SO has worked the whole time I've been to visit since the first time I visited him. He has a set amount of time he can take off work per year and manages to make a little extra "overtime" to count towards a few more days of holidays but he uses all of his holiday time to visit me.. So he really can't afford to take anymore time when I visit him.

in reality, you'll have quite a few hours in the evenings together if you work regular hours. You'll have weekends together, she won't have any other life distractions; she is there purely to be with you, can you imagine what its going to be like when you finally do live together and you BOTH have work? when you both have big commitments outside of your relationship? I actually feel very lucky that I don't have to work when I visit my SO and get to welcome him home from work everyday when I'm there, I take care of certain things too - like I do washing during the day, change the sheets, tidy up.. etc. I do all the things I want to do/need to do while he is at work so we can enjoy the time together when he gets home.

This is what real life is going to be like, its a good experience to have, "knowing" what its like to go to work and come home to your SO at the end of the day.

[LoveL]

I had to work the last time LoveJ was down here. It's kind of a bummer but you guys are both adults right? I mean, sometimes you just can't get off.

You certainly have to at least request it. But if you don't get time off, no big deal. Just make sure you spend lots of extra time together before and after work. Take lunch breaks together. When you get a break, make a quick phone call to check in or just to say "I love you". Leave your work stress at work as much as you can. Don't let it eat into the quality time that you guys are going to have.

If you can't get the whole time off that she is going to be there, can you ask for just one or two days. It's not idea but it's at least better than having 0 days off.

[TwoThree]

Hope you manage to get a few days off, but if you don't, while it sucks, it's not really that bad.

My man manages to get leave from his job whenever I visit (he's got plenty of leave days, usually) but it's not unusual for him to work one or two days after I fly in, and I don't mind at all. As someone else said, it's like a test for when we'll live together (and I'll be unemployed and miserable ). I love waking up as early as he does to have breakfast together. Then I'd catch some sleep, clean the house (he NEVER dusts the place, so I'm kept busy with that), sort out his closet (to put my stuff in there :P) and cook. I love doing stuff like that for him.

[Kiyama]

Can you try and and get a few days of at least? Maybe a a couple of days after the weekend? That way you'd still get a few full days in a row without taking too many days off.
My SO and I are in a similar situation. I'm in the lucky position to be a teacher so I get school holidays every 6 weeks or so and I can go over to visit. With any other job of course you don't get that but I don't mind so much. My SO makes sure he gets at least a few days off but it's never the whole time obviously and I have no problem with it whatsoever

[Katelyn313]

I'd like to hear some responses to this thread as well. During our visit, I'll be at school most the day. He says he'll be fine on his own and he can go with my mom and help out at my sister's school library where she volunteers or run errands with her. We'll have to come up with more things for him to do while I'm at school. Some ideas we already have, OP,:

-He could make a surprise for when I get home! He could bake something or create something or have something naughty waiting for me.
-We can spend lots of time together on weekends and after school
-We're mostly homebodies, so we'll be absolutely fine with spending most of our time together cuddled up on the couch and watching a movie or doing homework
-He can be awesome and bring me lunch a day or two :P

Dylan and I did something similar last time I went down and we'll do it again this time. Granted, it's only been 2 days, but we still know what you're going through a bit.

Last time I made a meal in his slow cooker, one we had decided on in advance. So he had a hot, home cooked meal to come home to (It made me feel very wifey to cook for him ) This time, I'll be cooking as well. Also, I used my time alone in his apartment to pamper myself. I did my nails (something I don't really have time to do when I'm home) and I read my book uninterrupted and just relaxed. I was thinking about bringing my cross-stitch next time so I have a project to work on. If she's in to crafts, maybe go to the store and pick her up something. That would be sweet and unexpected.

I don't know how Dylan felt about me being alone... he said make myself at home, but I don't know if he felt guilty or anything, maybe he'll chime in here

Anyways, it's totally not the end of the world. Like another poster said, any time together is better than none. And she will understand. Plus, it's real life now

Enjoy her visit and good luck!!

[Softy]

My bf was suppose to come and see me soon but.... his boss said no to his vacation time he had booked.
I understand that not everyone can take time off whenever they want.
Of course I'm sad about it but I also understand.
And if I had to visit him while he still works, it would be way better than nothing at all.
I'd enjoy every evenings i can be with him and every nights i could sleep next to him.

That being said, like others said, you can ask and explain him why you need time off.
If he still says no, maybe ask him when you would be able to have time off ( maybe he will let you take some but only later on?).
And if it's still no, well.... your gf will need to understand and I'm sure she will.

If you cannot have time off, just make the best you can with your evenings with her dear....
You cannnot blame yourself for working and if she is still willing to come over it's for you, to be with you.
Even if it's not a lot of free time together, it's still something.

Both make it memorable
And eventually, you will both have more free time.

cheers