First Visit Advice

[faith_patience_believe]

We haven't made it an official relationship yet, but he's coming to visit in about a month for the first time. We met online almost exactly one year ago and have been chatting or skyping every day since then. We have become extremely close and feel that there really could be something real between us. He lives across the country and we finally decided to meet this summer. We have agreed since the beginning that we didn't want to have an official relationship until we meet in person.
We're both soooo excited to finally meet and have already planned some things to do. He's staying for about a week. So, I was wondering if those of you who've done this before could give me some advice on how to make this first visit the best that it can be! What did you do? How did you get through the awkwardness at first?
I want to make the most of this precious week I'm going to have with him

Thanks so much guys!!! I'm freaking excited!!!!!!!!!!

[Jazi]

me and my SO started pretty much the same, friends for 2 years before he came here to visit me, we both wanted to be together but waited until we were sure with meeting first.

he was with me in Australia for 2 weeks, he had booked his own hotel for the first week and we planned to go to a holiday house together for the second week. I REALLY tried to plan it to be a great holiday/experience for him incase we didn't work out as a couple. I took him into the city to see the major tourist things, went to The Zoo, The Aquarium, took him to one of the most popular holiday locations in my state (thats where we stayed in the holiday house), went to the beach.. all kinds of things! just wanted to give him a good time here and show him where I lived.

I ended up staying with him in the hotel from the first night.. but i'm glad he had a hotel room, it took the pressure off us working out from the very first day, even though we didn't really need that worry in the end

[Katelyn313]

I agree with Jazi Dylan did the same thing when I visited him for the first time. We planned quite the weekend. We went to dinner (our first 'date') and then walked around downtown the next day and went to a really cool Naval museum and then on Sunday we made Build-A-Bears and went to a shooting range. Our weekend was really packed with things to do.

To make sure it was special we tried to remember to take pictures (but we didn't) and I saved receipts, the build-a-bear birth certificates and bought a Christmas ornament at the Naval museum and am keeping them (temporarily) in a bag that I had laying around. We hope to move these to a chest sometime soon so we can go through them when we're old

You could also write a letter to him describing all of your thoughts about meeting or start a journal. Wouldn't that be cool to look back on?

As far as awkwardness goes... Dylan and I didn't really have any. As soon as we hugged that first time, I knew I was exactly where I should be. If you feel like there is something there, there is. I think I was really surprised at how well we got along without technology (phones, skype, etc.) in the way. It was so nice to hold his hand and just be with him.

It'll be great and you should be excited!! Enjoy!! Have fun!! And definitely report back!!

[Softy]

First and best advise, be you.
Don't plan or do anything is it's not in your 'comfort zone'.

Some ppl like to plan everything ahead, some not.
As for my personal experience, I didn't plan anything really.
We also didn't have the budget to do anything crazy.

So the 1st day/night we didn't do much.
We stayed at my place, i cooked for him and we rented movie.
The 2nd day i took him to a house party at some of my friends place, we did drink a little (kinda took our shyness away a tad).
Rest of his stay (which was 1 week) we just walked about town, did a little shopping, dinning out and went to the biodome.

You can also ask him what he would like to do.
Or you can look at what is there to do in your city during his stay.

Just enjoy the time with him

[Michia]

My SO and I also started out like this. Our first visit was just two friends meeting, seeing if there was any connection for a potential relationship.

Everyone else has already given great advice....the only thing I would like to add from my own experience is this: Try not to be too disappointed if it doesn't work out the way you have visioned in your head. After our first visit, we decided to be just friends for a few different reasons. Five months later....we changed our minds and decided to meet again. The one year anniversary of our first meeting, he proposed and we will be married this July. So, don't get hung up on how this first visit goes. You never know what the future may hold.

[Zephii]

Our first meet/visit will always be one of the highlights of my life. I look back on it often I'm glad you're going to get that experience soon.

We talked a lot about how we'd likely feel before it happened. We discussed that due to my anxiety disorder I may be unable to actually speak to him for the first little while. We agreed that to avoid awkwardness we'd think about the situation like any of our role plays and say or do what would naturally come next if we were still online. We also agreed that in the first 48 hours he was to make no sexual advances on me, but after that it would be game on.

Just talk, it's the simplest way to prepare yourselves.

On our first day we did nothing. We wandered around the area we were staying in, held hands and hugged. The environment and houses were quite different from my home and I'd never been out of my country before so that was more than enough entertainment. I'm glad that we had nothing to distract us from each other. We just spent the day together, being together, and I highly recommend that.

ETA: We also didn't go official until we met in person.

[squeeker]

I love thinking back to when I first met my boyfriend in person. We met online a little over a year before our first in person meeting, and became official about 2 1/2 months before that visit. We talked a lot before hand about how it would go, whether we'd hug or kiss.. I knew I'd be nervous, we both were, but we were both really excited too. When we met for the first time, there was little to no awkwardness at all, he made it really great because as he called my name and we were talking towards each other, smiling I think, he held his arms open to me and I responded back by sort of letting go of my suitcase by where we stood and hugging him so tightly. And we held kissed and held hands all the way to where we bought the train tickets back to his place and on the trainride there we were working on one of the wordsearches in the book I brought for the plane. I was comfortable with him right from the start, he was great from the start, making me feel so comfortable with him.

We are both very home orientated people, don't care for anything too loud. That first day we did go shopping, for some food as well as a plate and stuff for me and maybe some other things, but before that we just spent time relaxing from my flight. On that visit, it was for two weeks, most of which we spent in his house, or we walked around his town, and then two days we went out, to a museum and surrounding area, and to a neighboring town to pick up an rc helicopter which we had fun with.

My advice for you is not to worry, not to have too big expectations in case things don't turn out quite the way you envision them, try to be flexible with things, and have things planned but loosely planned in case you change your mind on what you want to do. And have fun, and try to write about it when you get back so you can remember it better. And take pictures so you can look back on your visit and remember the memories better.

[faith_patience_believe]

Wow! You guys are great! Thanks so much for the advice! I agree, I don't want to have too much expectation and then have things not work out. We'll just have to see what happens. We've already talked about what we plan to do when he visits. We've planned a few fun things. But we also plan to just do nothing and talk and just spend time alone together. Neither of us have ever actually been in a relationship with anyone before, so we don't really know what to expect. It will all be very new to us. Thanks for the advice about writing about it. I already keep a journal, so I will make sure to do that.

I will definitely post about it after he leaves!
Thanks again so much!

[Darth_Taco]

I think one of the best ways to break the ice is to simply fart in front of eachother. Let out a really loud and stinky one right next to him, then have him do the same. Few things will embarrass you after that :P.

If you refuse to do that...I got nothing else XP. I just ended up letting Enrique find out that I was lactose intolerant after ordering a pizza @_@. We kind of had no shame after that.