New LDR...any advice?

[theBeardedDutchman]

So my girlfriend and I have been together for almost 6 months. I haven't felt this way about a girl before... We met in college (different colleges), and she graduated while I still have a few years left. We were 50 miles apart in school, but she just got a job in the same state, but 150 miles away. We used to see each other every weekend, where I would stay with her, but now she only gets one day a week off, except certain weeks where she doesn't and can't have visitors (she lives in company housing). We talked about it, and are trying to do 2 visits a month, and we skype, and facebook chat,text and call every day, and we started writing a love letter a week in January, and are continuing that, and we take a picture a day and send it to each other. It's only been one week, but its been rough, and she has a week where she cant have visitors coming up, so it might be 3 weeks or so before I can see her. We both understand and want to make it work, but its been hard. Any advice for a new long distance relationshiper?

[rhomy]

Hey! Not a special advice to give you. Of course it will be tough, but believe me, if you love each other, you'll cope with it. And you'll learn that a LDR has some good things too.
Nothing can replace the touch of you SO but luckily for us, nowadays technology is a great help.
We try to stay in touch on a daily basis. Sometimes we skype, sometimes we text and everyday we write emails, at least to say good night.
I like to share everything that happens to me during the day, that makes us feel more connected and we send short videos (we make with our phones) almost every day. That way you can hear your SO's voice and see their smile.
And if you feel down, you can always come here to vent! LOL.
Also you can use the time to plan a special surprise for your next meeting!

Anyway, don't know what else to say but if sometime you need to talk you can pm me

[Katelyn313]

Hey! Welcome to LFAD! Dylan and I are a little farther apart than you guys but we see each other just as much and use technology much in the same way. We're very lucky as some people on here have gone years without seeing their SO's face to face.

You guys seem to be doing great so far! Those are all fantastic ways to keep in touch! This place is super helpful as far as support and ideas go. The people are amazing and so supportive

The only things Dylan and I do differently are we write in a journal and pass it back and forth every visit. Last time I had it for two weeks and then he took it home with him and it's his turn to write it in. That way we can chronicle how the distance is affecting each of us and we have both of our ideas in one place. But the love letter once a week thing is so sweet!! Also, we have countdowns. I saw a post on here once where the person said they'd stopped counting. But we have an app on our phones called Days Left. It's really customize-able and it tells us how many days left until a certain amount. I keep two going. One for when he's coming up and one for when I'm going down. And I update them every visit. We used post-its before we got the apps and would tear each day off at midnight when we Skyped.

Hope that helped a bit. Like Rhomy said, if you need anything, we're here, just reach out!

Enjoy and good luck, it's all worth it

[corrda00]

Well first welcome to LFAD.

It seems like you're doin all the right things. Communication is huge and its really great that you send pictures and letters. Sure you may not be able to hold her or kiss her but like a friend of mine who was in a LDR with his now wife told me, this is a good chance to work on the non physical stuff that so many couples get caught up in. Its a great time to learn about each other and grow together emotionally.

[Jazi]

welcome

I suppose whether you have to wait a week to see each other - or 6 months.. counting down really helps a lot of us with LDRs! Also knowing the next time you will see each other to be able to countdown to that is really helpful, it's hard to be left in limbo wondering when you will see your SO again..

I suppose for me a month is super quick! if you get busy with life and keep positive - you know its coming, day by day, second by second you are getting CLOSER, time will fly by each time and you will be together again.

You get a big tick from me with your communication though, it really helps to feel connected and keep the relationship in a good place with regular communication in many different forms.