Strange Problem (Teen LDR)

[writergirl15]

Okay, so I'm 16 and my SO is almost 17. We've been best friends since we were little and have actually only dated for 7 months. I've felt like something was off in our relationship, and now I think I've figured it out. I think we're a little too great. Let me explain. We haven't had a real argument in years, and we have all the same hobbies. He came and visited for two weeks, and it was amazing. Anything I like, he likes. Anything I don't like, he doesn't like. Whenever we talk or (when we're visiting) hang out, he just goes with whatever I want to talk about or do. Literally. Now I'm thinking he's being too... I don't know, passive or something. Like maybe he's trying too hard to make me happy? And I don't know if I should ignore it or talk to him or if it's all in my head.

Any adults have advice for me?

[Sora1101]

Something that is often said on this forum is that communication is key, you will never get anywhere in a LDR without it. If him being passive worries you talk to him about it, tell him you appreciate that he's always doing his best to make you happy but you don't want him to always be settling for what you want in this relationship. Make sure he knows that you're more than happy and willing to change things up and do what he wants to do. If he says he only wants to do what you want to do have him make a list of like his top 10 favorite things to do and then surprise him occasionally by doing things that are on the list aka his favorite things.

[Shepard-Fowkes]

I'm not much older than either of you, but I can give advice here. What's important to keep in mind with a relationship is that you are both two individuals. Yes, you're half of a couple, but you're also an individual. Do you two maybe spend a bit too much time together? Keep looking into your interests and looking more at the world around you. Explore a bit! If you two like the same bands and that's getting a little old, start looking into different genres. If you two play the same sports, try something new. For my SO and I, our relationship can only be kept interesting if we have "our" things, "his" things, and "my" things. For example, we both love the Beatles and the Simpsons. But he likes video games and tech and I like politics and reading. We can teach each other a bit about the stuff that only one of us likes and we can have a little bit of "us" time too.

[efish1042]

You know the saying "location, location, location"? Well here it's all about communication. He might be upset, drifting away, or just chill! My SO doesn't care about a lot of things (not like he doesn't care, but is happy either way) when it comes to things we do. If I want to do something, he usually goes with it. If I don't, he usually goes with it or does it alone when it's things like video games. Just ask him. It's probably no big deal, but it may be that he's getting depressed or something. Just talk to him.

[writergirl15]

Thanks guys! Sora, I'll try that. efish, I'm thinking he's probably just 'chill' then, because I can tell when he's depressed and this isn't the same. Plus he's been like this for the last couple of years. Shepard, we actually do have our own things - like he's into football while I like writing - so I don't think that's a problem for us. I'm thinking it's probably just his personality, but I'll ask him to make the decisions every once in a while. Thanks again!