So my GF needs space.

[Biscous]

I'll write more later, but she explained that the internship would be and start in June. We planned for her to come out a few weeks ago. Typically after seeing one another we try to arrange the next trip, so I didn't really take it upon myself to buy the tickets and tell her to come out, but rather we agreed that she would come out at those dates and I would pay for her this time, which I was fine with

I also completely agree about putting your priorities first. I told her I don't want her to make a decision about us and then later resent me if things don't work out. I was thinking in my mind if we did possibly fail she would be able to go back home. I would help her out. I also hoped that she would have great school options here which I believe so.

In my own personality I always self sacrifice in a lot of my relationships. I tend to invest in people and relationships in life but that's just me. I do understand now that it isn't about 'us' or 'me' in particular but that she's juggling a lot of things right now and I can understand that difficult time in her life.

I really don't think I was smothering when I told her that she needs to look at the things in her life and I'd support her regardless. She got mad at me because she felt like I would just throw our relationship out the window, I wouldn't care, and I would be fine without her. Funny that she was so abrupt in her decision and her action when dealing with our relationship was a bit reckless.

[Biscous]

So the internship is a PR company in start up mode. I thought it was with an established company *shrugs*.

[Rugger]

sorry about your condition :/ right off the bat i would say she asking you to book tickets and then changing the plans at the last min is not right. if my SO booked tickets for me and even if something great comes up I would have still gone to see my SO and not change the plan.
what i see is right now your gf is thinking about her career and her life in general as to how it is going to be for the rest of her life, she is in serch for a good career and of course something that leads her to a well paying job, so she has temporily put you put of the picture for a while. From your side YES, she is being selfish, but from her side YES she want to build a career for herself, and she doesnt want to let go any oppurtunity cause she doesnt want to regret later on

I think she is a bit swinging with her decisions, and that is only because she surely feel you are suffocating her, and leaves her no option. your frustration is justified because yes she should have behaved a bit more responsible towards you. seems like she is more naive, and surely is not on the same page as you. you sound like a person who has set all your priorities straight, and i feel she is naive and she says different things at different times because she feels it a bit difficult to keep up with your level when it comes to everything in the relationship? I think she needs to communicate alot more clearer to you. you should have a talk or chat with her completely in a chilled out mode. just forget whatever is going on, and get in to her head, to the core of what she is feeling. this has to be done by you calming down and being completely attentive, if it helps, just tell her to forget that u are her partner, and think of u as maybe a friend, and tell everything she is going through right now. dont judge on any of her words.

I m sorry to break it to you, she seems a bit naive and right now whatever happens you need to just give her space, and just be there for her. listen to whatever she says and just comfort her no matter how much it pisses u off. see what the happens in a week, thn after a week try the talking to her like a friend mode, and get to the core of the problem. hope this helps

I'm sorry but It bothers me that her trying to get ahead in her career is viewed as selfish. Have you looked at the job market lately? I don't know where you are from but here in America , it's the worst it's been since the Great Depression. People are struggling to get jobs. Hell it took me 2 years to find a job in my field, even after getting an internship. I love my SO to pieces, but when it came down to keeping my old job and closing the distance after the summer and taking my dream job and not closing the distance, I chose my career. Maybe I'm selfish or naive, but It's a smarter choice. Love is not all you need. You can't eat it or drink it or live under it. I love my boyfriend but I have to learn to take care of me.

OP, you should be proud of your girlfriend for taking the steps to advance her career. I know it sucks that you don't get to see her, but what's a matter of months when you have the rest of your lives to spend together. Also as far as sacrafice goes, good for you for putting her before your family, but that doesn't mean she has to do it for you. It just doesn't. Relationships don't have a scorecard.

[Biscous]

I'm sorry but It bothers me that her trying to get ahead in her career is viewed as selfish. Have you looked at the job market lately? I don't know where you are from but here in America , it's the worst it's been since the Great Depression. People are struggling to get jobs. Hell it took me 2 years to find a job in my field, even after getting an internship. I love my SO to pieces, but when it came down to keeping my old job and closing the distance after the summer and taking my dream job and not closing the distance, I chose my career. Maybe I'm selfish or naive, but It's a smarter choice. Love is not all you need. You can't eat it or drink it or live under it. I love my boyfriend but I have to learn to take care of me.

OP, you should be proud of your girlfriend for taking the steps to advance her career. I know it sucks that you don't get to see her, but what's a matter of months when you have the rest of your lives to spend together. Also as far as sacrafice goes, good for you for putting her before your family, but that doesn't mean she has to do it for you. It just doesn't. Relationships don't have a scorecard.

From my understanding the internship is from a start up in January. She told me today. IMHO a Long Distance Relationship has a better chance than a start up. One of her friends started in January and sold her on it. I work in web hosting and I have even noticed that the company doesn't even have a strong web presence. The site is under construction. Less than 5 employees. The internship wasn't what I thought it was. I wish the best of luck to both of them, but I know why I left Georgia initially, due to the abysmal and higher than national average unemployment rate.

She said she's not even sure of our future with each other that's the unsettling part. It's as though she wants to give up on us and forget closing the distance in August. When I asked her am I her boyfriend she said "I don't know" so what am I supposed to do with that? I love her and want the best for her of course.

[Rugger]

From my understanding the internship is from a start up in January. She told me today. IMHO a Long Distance Relationship has a better chance than a start up. One of her friends started in January and sold her on it. I work in web hosting and I have even noticed that the company doesn't even have a strong web presence. The site is under construction. Less than 5 employees. The internship wasn't what I thought it was. I wish the best of luck to both of them, but I know why I left Georgia initially, due to the abysmal and higher than national average unemployment rate.

She said she's not even sure of our future with each other that's the unsettling part. It's as though she wants to give up on us and forget closing the distance in August. When I asked her am I her boyfriend she said "I don't know" so what am I supposed to do with that? I love her and want the best for her of course.

Then there's nothing more you can do. Just support her and be there when she falls. She needs to make her own mistakes. Maybe the internship is a bad idea, but she has to learn that the hard way. We don't learn from the mistakes of other people, we have to go through the motions and feelings ourselves. Let her come t you.

[Romeo s Juliet]

I'm sorry but It bothers me that her trying to get ahead in her career is viewed as selfish. Have you looked at the job market lately? I don't know where you are from but here in America , it's the worst it's been since the Great Depression. People are struggling to get jobs. Hell it took me 2 years to find a job in my field, even after getting an internship. I love my SO to pieces, but when it came down to keeping my old job and closing the distance after the summer and taking my dream job and not closing the distance, I chose my career. Maybe I'm selfish or naive, but It's a smarter choice. Love is not all you need. You can't eat it or drink it or live under it. I love my boyfriend but I have to learn to take care of me.

OP, you should be proud of your girlfriend for taking the steps to advance her career. I know it sucks that you don't get to see her, but what's a matter of months when you have the rest of your lives to spend together. Also as far as sacrafice goes, good for you for putting her before your family, but that doesn't mean she has to do it for you. It just doesn't. Relationships don't have a scorecard.

I never meant to say she wanting to get ahead of the career is selfish. I only meant to say that she swinging the decision on wanting to come see her SO and cancelling at the last moment is being selfish. cancelling the visit to come see her SO is ok if she completely communicated her concern in a clear manner to her SO. but as her SO s posts, he clearly mentions she is not much good at communicating thing as well as he does. From what i saw is if she had clearly step by step given good reason for everything she does, even cancelling the tickets, her SO would not have felt as bad as he feels atm. thats why i meant to say she is selfish, only because she has kept him out of her life at this moment in time. everyone has their right to choose career ahead of everything else, but when she have a SO who is miles away from her, doing every damn sacrifice for her, she need to stuck it up and communicate her reasons well and straightforward, and not give him the hardship of reading between the lines. thats why i made a comment about her being selfish.

[Biscous]

Thoughts on the amount of contact I maintain between her right now? She states she needs space. She hasn't broken up with me. She has texted me a few times with "Hey" "What's Up". Things like that but no phone calls.

This is really giving me a good time to rethink the relationship and how we should move forward, if we do.

[Biscous]

She's said she misses me but just giving me small texts and stuff. I just told her to call me when she's ready to talk. Enjoying my time with friends.